- 7 years ago
I have a friend whose situation sounds more like the plot of a bad Lifetime movie and she has no clue what to do about it. Long story short, she had a really messed up childhood (father was a drug dealer who stole her away from her mother and was raised by maternal grandmother who was a murder as well as a drug dealer, both of whom were fanatically religious to the point where this girl was scared to breathe wrong) and it affected her young adult life in a bad way as a result. Due to the brainwashing she received, she was taught to believe that her mother never existed and that she supposedly hated the woman she’d barely met a few times after that. Just last yr sometime (she’s barely 30 now), she reconnected with her mother and wanted to rekindle the relationship, which makes perfect sense. However, she has said her mother is crazy with guilt trips and other drama that makes her question her intent on finding her in the first place, especially since they are the only family each other has. Also, it doesn’t help this poor girl that she was denied the education of basic life skills on how to survive in the real world on her own, which has bit her in the butt worse than it does most people. She’s out of her mind with grief right now since her mom is not going to be around forever and constantly reminds her of such, yet her mother believes that she refuses to take responsibility for herself, which anyone who knows this girl knows is not true. But she wants her mother’s acceptance so badly that it’s taken over her (and her mom had to take care of herself from the age of 11 out of necessity and doesn’t understand why no one else is capable of the same). The most recent new is that the mother said they can have a relationship if the girl turns her life around, which is understandable, but says she needs physical proof of it because this girl has had bad experiences in the past where she tended to give up when it got too stressful. What kind of physical evidence would one possibly provide? A printout of paystubs maybe? No idea.
For those who grew up without a parent, would you put yourself through this? I don’t even know what to say to her to make her feel better because it’s eating at her so badly.