Crazy for leaving or crazy for staying?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I crazy?
    Leave and never look back. : (230 votes)
    97 %
    You messed up bee. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    I'm here for the comments. : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee

    I wouldn’t wait until tomorrow. I’d go right now. You aren’t crazy. They are extremely controlling and it is not healthy. 

    Can you elaborate on how they can destroy your career? You say that’s why you went back to them while he is at the home you bought together. 

    Post # 2
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    It sounds like your family is extremely toxic. I voted run & never look back. How could they possibly destroy your career though?  

    Post # 4
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Ohmiword, you can bet this post is gonna blow up with HOW ON EARTH HAVE YOU EVEN STAYED THIS LONG?! Literally cut them all out of your life for good, they sound like toxic self-righteous heathens … And let me also just add in that being Christian is essentially being a spokesperson for the Lord, and trying to be the best most loving and forgiving a person can possibly be. Slandering you up and down for your choices (which are not wrong at all btw) is actually abuse, and they have zero right to say that God will punish you for your actions. Bee, I sincerely hope you can cut them from your life and actually seek counseling for the emotional damage they’ve undoubtedly inflicted on you, good luck 

    Post # 6
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Just wanted to add one last thing: don’t give them any further personal info, this includes employment, addresses, phone numbers, etc … Clearly that will only be putting your life in general at risk 

    Post # 7
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you should leave now. Not wait. Just go. 

    And have a discreet word with your boss to give him the heads up that your family may try to come to work. They can’t ruin your career with their crazy. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    9544 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Get the hell out of there now. Immediately leave. Go home to your amazing husband and surround yourself with positive people. Your family sounds incredibly toxic. The fact that you are even at your parents home and asking if you should leave them behind tells me you should seek out therapy.

    I seriously doubt they can destroy your career. If they did go to your boss, he’d probably think they were insane. I can’t imagine any boss taking a grown adult’s parents coming to talk to them seriously at all. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1938 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    chiefbee :  do you have security at your/your partner offices? I would talk to your boss and say that you’re family toxic and pissed you’re cutting them off. Tell the receptionist they’re not allowed to see you and if they give them any trouble to call the police as they would any other disruptive member of the public.

    Leave. Leave right now. Don’t look back. Walk into the arms of your husband, the man who worships you. Walk to his family who were happy for you. It’s your family’s loss, not yours. Don’t go back. Don’t give them any information on your life and cut them out.

    Also your marriage is valid. A pastor makes no difference. My inlaws feel my marriage isn’t valid because it wasn’t a catholic ceremony (still Christian like yours though), it’s rubbish. My marriage and your marriage is just as valid as if we’d done it the preferred way. This marriage is still the family that you chose and it’s valid in the eyes of God and the world.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    Leave right now. Don’t spend another minute ingesting their poison. You didn’t do anything wrong. You had the wedding you wanted with the man you love, and right now he is at your home alone, probably worrying about what your toxic family is putting you through. 

    Your boss would probably think they were insane if they came in the office to tell them how their grow daughter had been disobedient by getting married and moving out of the house. I don’t think you have to worry about them ruining your career.

    Go home, to your home, where your husband is, and I’d recommend cutting off contact with them until they learn how to treat you and your husband with respect. Also agree with PP to not give them any more personal information. No addresses, no contacts, no phone numbers, nothing.

    Post # 11
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I would be looking into restraining orders: threatening to come to your work? That’s insane. I’m sorry bee, this is crazy and your family has absolutely lost touch with reality.

    bee, please, get a restraining order. These people are crazy, like set your house on fire crazy……

    Post # 12
    Member
    2705 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    Realistically, what can your parents do? Your boss isn’t going to take any notice of them except to think they’re batshit crazy, so ‘ruin your career’ isn’t going to happen. They still see you as a child to be controlled, not an independent adult capable of living her own life, and unless you do exactly what they say, it won’t be good enough. Actually, even if you did exactly what they say, it still won’t be good enough. Get your stuff and leave NOW. Warn your boss, block them all on phones, social media and email, and live your life.

    Post # 13
    Member
    8173 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    chiefbee :  

    Anyone who shows up at a persons work saying what a bad disobedient daughter they have  will be a laughing  stock!  I can  see that’s not a lot  fun for  you though,  so I would take the precaution of telling   whoever matters at work  that your family has got caught  up in  some cult  and should not  be allowed in your work place.

    And stop giving in to /engaging with  this mad  stuff. Get out of their house –  like yesterday –    and into your own house with your own long suffering husband . I think  perhaps you have been around it so long that you are beginning to lose sight of what’s  normal or reasonable .It is  neither of those things ,  get away from it .

    Good luck OP.  

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