(Closed) Crazy mother in law Continued. Please help

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know your background, which would help here – are you two accepting financial help from his parents? 

Obviously, they sound unreasonable and crazy. They’re being disrespectful. If it was me, I would put my foot down, because they’ve gone too far. They shouldn’t be treating you that way, and indulging them is only going to make this worse. You need to sit down with your fiance and re-evaluate how much they are involved in the wedding – and possibly your day to day lives. 

Post # 5
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

She wants you to write a paper? Seriously I would tell her to back off, if your FH is supporting you 100% then he should be seeing how crazy they are behaving as well. I would tell Future Mother-In-Law that you need the list to make sure your guest count is right and it makes no sense for her to send out the invites. This is assuming that they aren’t paying for anything. If they are I would tell them no thanks and go elope. Good luck.

Post # 6
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are his parents paying for the wedding? I’m confused why they feel like they should have control. Good for your Fiance for standing up for u

Post # 8
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

WOW she sounds very draining. A good sign is that Fiance is sticking up for you. Do not let this woman’s actions doubt how you feel for your Fiance. This is for sure something you and Fiance should be on the same page with and decide as a couple how you see your relationship with his parents being in the future.

Post # 10
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

what does “sponsoring our wedding on base” mean?  sorry if this is normal wedding terminology that i’m just not familiar with.  why do you think she will damage your car?  that seems very specific.  has she done something like that in the past or threatened your car?

Post # 14
48 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

That sounds so horrible!   

I would refuse to write the paper because that’s just the height of silly and disrespectful to you.  You should also have your fiance do any and all dealings with them.  If you need addresses, he has to call and ask for them, for instance.  Just don’t even talk to them.  Mark her email address as spam, or just delete her messages when you get them.   

Ignore their nasty/trashy behavior as best you can and try to get whatever you can manage to get accomplished done.  

If they do anything on the day of to ruin your wedding, it will reflect badly on them, not on you.  They’ll come out looking bad, and people will sympathize with what you had to deal with. 

If they’re paying or even if they continue with this nastiness, maybe consider eloping instead.

Sooner or later (hopefully) they’ll come the realization that you marrying their son is completely out of their control and that moreover, their opinions on the matter are pretty irrelevant.  At that point, hopefully, they’ll act more maturely and respectfully regardless of their opinions of you. 

Also, the wedding is totally up to you and your fiance!  His dad is so wrong. 

Good luck.   

Post # 15
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should elope. Seriously. Take a few close friend or family, and pay to go somwhere. It will cost you less than the wedding if you only take people you really love and trust. You can still have the dress, flowers, whatever you want. Have a nice peaceful dinner after. Truly, this is your safest choice. 

When people ask you why you did it that way, you can certainly tell them you felt unsafe any other way.

I also think that people are right when they tell you that you are marrying into the family BUT BUT BUT, if your Fiance is taking your side, I think you will be ok. However…if your Fiance knows that she has done things in the past that could cause her to go to jail and he still associates with her after she threatens you, I think I’d worry a bit about that. Mother or not, she’s obvioulsy got some very serious mental issues. You def. have to think about having this nut around your future children, if you plan to have them.

And if she asks you to write a paper again, simply smile and say “no thank you”. In fact, when she tells you to do anything, sinply smile and say “no thank you”. And don’t say anything else. It’s tough to argue with that.


Post # 16
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

And as much as we all love weddings, as much as we all drool over details, the really important part is that you are marrying your partner. If you have to elope and deny yourselves a fancy wedding, or a well-attended wedding, or whatever you were planning, ask yourself how important is it, really, in the scheme of things? Go to Tahoe, or Vegas, or a beautiful mountain somwhere…and be together and with those you truly trust.

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