crazy over the top with a cash bar?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: what would you prefer?

    i dont care if i have to pay as long as they are happy with a beautiful wedding

    no way i want the booze

    i find it rude

    i dont care either way

  • Post # 2
    Member
    832 posts
    Busy bee

    Where are you located?

    In my area of the US a cash bar is beyond tacky, and the only thing people usually have to say about a wedding. For example, a couple in our group of friends went to a cash bar wedding two years ago. Any time that couple mentions the cash bar couple to anyone in our group, people always say “they’re the ones that had the cash bar, right?” But it seems from reading here they are common in the UK?

    Also re-read that the rest of the wedding was lavish. That makes it extra odd to me. A wedding is for the couple, obviously, but to spend more on centerpieces that matter to the bride and her mom only, say, and skip on something that obviously correlates with guest enjoyment, seems bizarre and very odd.

    Post # 3
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills

    I agree, if you are going to spend money on a lavish wedding, I would expect a hosted bar of some sort. That’s one place where I don’t believe in cutting corners, I would much rather have a hosted bar for my guests than over the top florals. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3057 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I’ve gone to a no bar wedding since drinking was against the couple’s religious view but never to one with a cash bar. Usually there’s at least wine and beer. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2323 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    alfalfasprout10518 :  I’ve never been to a full cash bar wedding, every wedding I’ve been to at least covers beer/wine and usually a signature cocktail of some sort. 

    So, I can’t really say how I’d feel since I’ve not yet been put in that position but I don’t think it’s my place to say how a couple spends their money and what they choose to exclude at their own wedding.

    I might be a bit miffed, but ultimately it’s not that big of a deal to me. It’s one night of my life, whatever.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1617 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

    Personally, I wouldn’t really care. I’m not going to a wedding for the drinks. Not everybody thinks alcohol is important, maybe a lot of their family doesn’t drink, or they didn’t want their guests taking advantage of an open bar – who knows. 

    If I just wanted to get drunk I’d stay home with a bottle of wine in my PJs, not go to a wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think cash bars are really tacky. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    In my area, cash bars at any point during a wedding are considered rude. A lavish, over the top wedding with a cash bar for the entire time? I can guarantee that would be all anyone would be talking about at the wedding. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2837 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yeah…I’d say it wasn’t that lavish if the guests have to pay for their own drinks..

    Post # 11
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    View original reply
    alfalfasprout10518 :  I’d be happy to go to a wedding with no alcohol available if it was pertaining to the couples views or religion, however a full cash bar is highly inappropriate.

    I went to a wedding recently that on the bottom of the invitation said “drinks at bar prices” and I know several people who gifted significantly less because of it.  It turns out they had a tab that they didn’t think would last the whole night but did, so it was a non-issue (and even if it did run out an hour before the end I’d be fine with that) but the gift thing is a bit awkward.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills

    View original reply
    alfalfasprout10518 :  Yeah, it seems super weird and rude to me they’d do that. At the end of the day I’d probably get over it if I went to a wedding like that, but I’d still find it pretty tacky.

    Only wedding I’ve been to with a cash bar had a hosted cocktail hour and I think there was open bar for the first hour or so of the reception but then they turned it cash later in the evening. So they at least offered some hosted drinks at the beginning of the night.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7806 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Super tacky. I think making guests pay for drinks AT ALL is gross, let alone when you spend $150k and can’t even throw a few bucks for drinks. The only cash bar weddings I’ve been to definitely stick out in my mind. And not for good reasons! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    View original reply
    alfalfasprout10518 :  in my area cash bars are very tacky and I have to agree, budget, lavish, normal doesnt matter… dont waste thousands on flowers and your vision and then not serve at least beer and wine. Guests shouldnt be subsidizing anyones wedding

    The fact that it was a super lavish wedding and had a cash bar..well that’s just beyond tacky and sadly for that couple guests will remember that portion over the flowers years to come.

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