crazy over the top with a cash bar?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
  • poll: what would you prefer?

    i dont care if i have to pay as long as they are happy with a beautiful wedding

    no way i want the booze

    i find it rude

    i dont care either way

  • Post # 151
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee

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    weddingmaven :  You seem to think you are the be all and end all on etiquette and present your opinions in a very condescending way. Can you cite which sources you use and explain why you have appointed yourself this role on this website?

    Post # 152
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

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    weddingmaven :  and I dont know how many times me and dozens of posters here can explain to you that when hosting an event you need to put your guests first not yourself which means their comfort which includes both food and alcohol

    Also the poster who wrote this clearly stated this aunt pulls this all the time to exactly control the family and guests not because shes religious first, I think she knows her aunt better than you do dont you? So this clearly was a controlling statement not a religious statement

    I will never agree with you and you wont ever agree with me or anyone with this opinion so there is no sense in continuing this conversation

    What the OP posted, I find tacky and poor hosting.. you dont. End of story

     

     

    Post # 153
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

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    zzar45 :  I would 100% respect that

    But the poster clearly said her aunt does this all the time at many events in order to gain control and the whole family hates her for it, she knows her aunt, we do not and I am going to believe the poster on this.

    So in this instance sorry but control comes before religion and that I don’t think that is ok.

    Post # 154
    Member
    5788 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    anatheanalyst :  She also said “I have a crazy aunt who doesn’t drink for religious reasons” so you are taking what you want from the OP’s post.  At the end of the day people shouldn’t have to put aside their morals or beliefs in order to throw the sort of party that you want.  If the OP’s family are so bothered by it why do they keep letting Aunt plan and pay for these events? If they “hate her for it” why are they going, to take advantage of a free meal?

    The rest of the family could plan their own event with booze and then Aunt could chose whether to attend or not, although they would have to pay for it then which perhaps is the main problem. 

    Post # 155
    Member
    13604 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

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    bear123 :  I can and would have been more than happy. But I don’t respond to insults. I suggest you do your own research. It’s all there. 

    Post # 157
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee

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    weddingmaven :  
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    zzar45 :  “I have a crazy uncle who doesn’t eat pork for religious reasons. He actually PAID the restaurant not to serve pork to anyone who wanted an appetizer with bacon. How rude!!!”

    Think we would get the same responses?

    Post # 158
    Member
    5788 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    whitecollarbee :  It would be the same response from me.  I would assume by “pay extra” that actually the Aunt was just covering the minimum amount for a private party, which is usually covered by the drinks bill.

    If someone didn’t eat pork for religious reasons then I would be totally fine with them serving foods which didn’t compromise their beliefs, particularly as they are paying.  Their hard earned money shouldn’t have to go towards something they are against. 

    Post # 159
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee

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    zzar45 :  I know, that’s what I’m saying (sorry if that wasn’t clear). I agree with you and I don’t think people would be jumping on the aunt if this were about a kosher or pork thing (at least, I would hope they wouldn’t).

    Post # 160
    Member
    5788 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    whitecollarbee :  Haha oh I haven’t read your other comments.  I thought you were being like ‘omg now you’re telling me I can’t eat bacon either because of someone’s stupid beliefs?!’

    Post # 162
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee

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    zzar45 :  Noooo haha! I love me some bacon but if someone doesn’t want to serve it at their event – especially for religious reasons – you’d have to be a cad to try to go over their head

    Post # 163
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

     

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    zzar45 :  A social gathering often involves alcohol, many people enjoy wine with dinner and no sorry that doesnt make you an alcoholic, I dont see how having a glass of wine myself offends another adult who simply does not need to partake. We are not talking about shitfaced assholes at dinner, but a glass of wine with adults.

    If someone is so offended by this for whatever reaosn then honestly.. they shouldnt be hosting social events then.

    Anyways, like i said to another poster we will never agree on this so agree to disagree I enjoy reading your posts and want no hard feelings!

    Post # 164
    Member
    2153 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I come from a culture where we do not consume pork. I provided bacon at our brunch the day after the wedding because it’s a common breakfast food and people enjoy it. You can certainly have religious and cultural beliefs prohibiting you from paying for anyone else to consume products your religion/culture prohibits. I just don’t happen to share in or agree with that. I think it’s going too far. Similarly, my Fiance is a vegetarian, but there was no question that we would serve meat at the wedding (of course, we had great vegetarian options as well), even if we were both vegetarians. Like I said, I don’t think there’s anything horribly wrong with serving vegetarian food, a non-pork dinner, etc., It’s just not something I would do. I find it ridgid.

    Post # 165
    Member
    2857 posts
    Sugar bee

    Moderator stepping in. If the post continues to be derailed, it will be closed and reviewed so further action can be taken against those violating the TOS.

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