(Closed) Crazy People and Weddings

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Cem0930: Weddings bring out the worse in people because IMO you go to more funearls in a year than weddings and we were in the West really don’t have many positive celebratory times to get together. Everyone has an opinion on weddings and it is annoying. I was fighing my family with my wedding and it got to the point I would give vague answers

I think you did the right thing going to the bridal shop by yourself if you knew that you would end up buying your mom’s favorite gown and not yours.

As for the cake, would you be willing to get a different cake? Or would givng your mother control over this lead to her trying to hurt you in any way? Because if it would be harmless maybe just see what she says? If she would use it against you, buy what you want.

 

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Cem0930: I’m sorry that you are having such a stressful time planning with your family around. Like you said at the end of the post this is your wedding. Just brush off what they say and continue to do what makes you happy. Since you say that you like to please people I would avoid giving them opportunites to turn the wedding into their show. Try to offer up as little information about the wedding as possible. I know that’s hard when you are going through such an exciting time of your life, but it will give them less chances to needle you. 

My family was the same way. Once I stopped talking about the details they left me alone. The only person who bothers me now is my grandmother who thinks the same as your Future Mother-In-Law on the 100 people. My grandma told me to cut it down to only close family. The kicker is that about 60% of that 100 is what she considers close family from her family alone.

Post # 5
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

Granted. It sounds like we’re different people personality wise but if my family were pulling stunts like that for a wedding –> I <– was paying for I’d cut them off. No info. No opportunities to be obnoxiously opinionated. AND I would call them on their rude behavior. I’ve done it before and I would do it again. I have zero tolerance for BS from people who should know better.

I’m sorry they are giving you such a rough time. It must be really hard.

Post # 6
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@FloretteLiz: I follow this rule as well. I rarely talk to anyone about my plans. I just can’t stand unsolicited opinions. Especially when your the one paying its frustrating. If someone asks me how’s it going I just say a simple “Fine”. No details. If your sister believes in archaic rules about grooms not seeing the dress, she can worry about that for her wedding, not yours. Stand firm in your ideals, i know its hard you can always vent here.

Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

oh wow, im so sorry your mother and sister are giving you such a hard time! I remember when both my sisters got married, I was mindful of my tongue when they talked about their wedding plans even if I might be thinking “okay that’s not such a good plan” and even when I did, i always tried to say it in a positive way. I didnt want to insult/upset them because it was their wedding and i also wouldnt want them to behave as such for my wedding!

 

but hey, at the end of the day, if you’re paying for it, then their opinion shouldnt really matter. a lot of people will give opinions but once you ask em to pay for it, they will shut up. They’re adults they can live with not having their ways. it’s your wedding so plan it the way you want it 🙂

hope things get better. You know you can always come and vent here 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Since you’re paying for this, you have the upper hand.  I would just brush their comments off and always be as vague as possible on the wedding details.  That’s what I’ve learned to do with people, mostly.  FCIL is very negative about my wedding plans, so I don’t talk about the wedding to her, at all, anymore.

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