- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I am getting married in October 2012. My FH’s sister is from hell. She has wreaked havoc on our relationship and our entire family over the last year.
To understand, you need some background to know how random and weird the whole situation is. My FH and I are 21 and 22. We met in HS and have been dating for over 6 years. I have graduated college and am currently gainfully employed. My FH is graduating this semester.
I was friends with his sister for years. We worked out together, went to the beach together, and hung out all the time. She was my Maid/Matron of Honor for goodness sakes. She was only home in the summers because she is currently in grad school. She was planning a big engagement party for us. Last Christmas everything changed between me and her and my FH.
She started telling everyone that I wasn’t good enough for my FH and that we would fail. She said he was selling himself short by marrying me and I was keeping him from law school. (which was a total lie, he did NOT want to go to law school, I sat him down and asked him). So I don’t know where that came from. She said this to his parents, as well as the majority of extended family that would listen to her.
So, I confronted her. She wrote me what I thought at the time was a heartfelt apology and said that she was so sorry that she hurt me and our friendship. She said she wanted us to be friends and that she supported us. She said she acted this way because she is worried about our age, but she would support us.
3 months later….I took her out to dinner when she came home for Spring break and I thought we were doing much better. We had been talking on the phone some and texting and emailing back and forth. I thought everything was fine. She was sending me links to wedding related stuff and it seemed like she was genuinely ovr her outburst. So I thought everything was fine.
2 months after that…She came home for the summer. The first day I saw her I knew. I knew she was back to hating me. We had been talking the week before she came home about hanging out a lot this summer because she would not be home the next. It is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Over the next few weeks she COMPLETELY OSTRACIZED me from the family. My FH and his family are very close and they have kind of taken me in over the last 6 years. Eventually it came to light that she had been talking about me again. She said I had gained weight, I was a bitch, I was controlling, I was territorial, I was a nag. Anything she could think of.
Finally, my FH got involved. There was a big blow up at the end of May. There was a family event that I was invited to. Later his sister went to the parents and told them I wasn’t invited because I didn’t get along with her roommate who was also going (which was a total lie). My Future Father-In-Law who bows down to his daughter talked to my FH and expected him to disinvite me and still go. He got very upset and he tried to play it off to me as neither of us were going because of some BS excuse that I can’t remember now. I could tell he was lying and he eventually told me the truth, though I already knew it has something to do with her.
Later, he and his dad got into it because he refused to go to this family function. His sister walked in in the middle of it and started SCREAMING crazy ass things about me and our relationship. The neighbors heard she was so loud. The things she said were personal and very mean and I have no idea why she feels this way. My FH took up for me and basically told her to go to hell. He refused to be around her for the rest of the summer, until she came to him and said she was sorry and that she was going to apologize to me (again). By this point I hadn’t been to his house for over a month and I was just ready for the whole thing to be over. My FH asked me if I would talk to her and accept the apology. She had a month. She said NOTHING. Later my FH said something to her about it and she said she had nothing to apologize for. She is back at school now and they have not spoken since she left.
Basically we are having a small intimate wedding. She is not invited. With her recent actions NEITHER of us trust her. His father is really pissed at us both for not inviting her. His mother understands and I love her dearly for it. You have to understand as well, I have given the out and she did not take it. It’s not just me not wanting to invite her either, my FH is the one that suggested it. I just 100% agree.
What more can I do to make this situation better?
Also, before you suggest it…I have directly asked her what her problem is with me and she has NO answer. Several people have asked and she just doesn’t have an answer. That’s why I don’t understand it. We were friends. And it hurts me still that I lost what I thought was one of the best friends I ever had.