(Closed) crazy waiting mood swings… help me cope!!! lol

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Girl! I am in the same boat as you! So much in the same boat that I am rowing the other paddle.

The hive is both good and bad. Get off the site if you are frequenting it too much. Go out and do stuff. Mr. Bee’s plan I am on right now and it helps. Read a book. And enjoy your man.

The worse thing my SO did was during an episode of How I Met Your Mother. It was a re-run from when Marshal and Lilly Just got engaged and they were drinking champagne and he grabs my hand and says “we may need to get some champagne soon.” I just squealed and tried to continue with my day. That feels like forever go but I think it was in 2012.

It looks like it is going to happen to you. He doesn’t seem like he is stringing you around.

My SO and I have been together for 5 years this August and so I have come to the end of my rope and feel the need to nag as you do. But my SO imparted some wisdom on me and I am passing it to you “Don’t ruin it for yourself. It’s like trying to plan your own surprise party.” So I will say the same to you.

And when you feel sad. Come to the hive and see the girls who have it worse then you. And watch bridezillas and vow never to be that way.

Post # 5
Member
24 posts
Newbee

Homegirl, I know exactly how you feel. For some reason, waiting turns perfectly normal, sensible, independent women into creatures of insecurity.  I’ve always chalked it up to mean that because we are normal, sensible and independent that this lack of control in a MAJOR life change/decision will naturally cause this reaction. Youre not alone.

As far as coping, I was feeling just like you. It was driving me insane. Like, you could register my moodswings on a seismograph insane.  I decided then and there I needed to do things that I could take control of; so I took a 3 week trip to Japan and New Zealand. Now, I’m not suggesting that everyone waiting should (or can) do something quite like that, but being able to do something that I could control for myself, something independent, something that was a new experience, something that gave me a new perspective made me feel SO much better about myself and in turn, helped me cope with the waiting mood swings. Perhaps it was one part distraction, one part a feeling of independence from my SO, one part adventure…who knows. Pick up a hobby, or take a class, or maybe a vacation with friends 🙂  Remember what life was like before waiting when we constantly did things for ourselves without worrying about someone else making big decisions for us.  I hope that helps/makes sense.

Post # 6
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

I kind of got into those crazy mood swings a few months ago. It was absolute hell, let me tell you! I am normally pretty quiet and stoic with my feelings, but once I was struck with the wedding fever I went a little nutso for a few months. My SO thought I was insane, I”m sure. All I could think about was a wedding, In fact, that’s all I TALKED about – so much so that my SO started to just tune me out.

Eventually, we sat down and had a huge, major, serious discussion. We’ve been together 5 years (living together almost as long), so the topic of marriage has come up a few times, but it was always discussed in generalized terms. This time, we had a serious heart to heart that lasted around 10 hours or something. We talked so long that we were both hoarse!

Basically, it boiled down to this: My SO (who is unlike any other man on the planet) is neutral about marriage. He really doesn’t care either way. He’s said getting married won’t change his feelings, thoughts, or attitude towards me. He already considers me his wife in his heart and this is how we lead our lives and treat each other – as if we are already married. He said that if getting married is important to me (which is is), then we can get married. If not, we don’t have to and he’s not going anywhere. He loves me and wants to grow old together.

Once I realized the depth of his feelings for me, the crazy wedding psycho behavior disappeared. I stopped lusting over e-rings, I stopped bookmarkng wedding dresses and looking at possible receptions sites. Interestingly enough, I realized that *I* wasn’t  as ready to get married as I thought I was!

I’ve just started my career. I really think I’d like to throw myself into work for a good solid year before I think about marrying. For me, it’s important that I be able to take care of myself on my own and my SO if something happens to him and he can’t work. I think once I know that I can handle that, I’ll be ready to seriously get married. And we already decided we’ll probabaly just elope, which is nice because I really don’t have any major desire to pick out colors and themes and fancy china.

Also, I”m kind of selfish and want to spend all the wedding money on the two of us! Ha!

But I completely understand your waiting mood swings. Been there, done that, and it wasn’t fun.

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