Post # 1
With my family we have (and had) a lot of traditions, things we do every holiday (seeing Christmas lights, 4th of July fireworks, etc)and when I was a kid we had a lot of daily and weekly scheduled items: reading together, games together, devotionals, Sunday lunch, etc.
How do you go about creating these in a new little family? Committing to them in your schedules and involving another family?
Is there anything you committed to doing together every day? When do you do it? How consistent have you been?
How have you coped with family traditions? More than just visiting family for holidays and managing that but doing the little things that make holidays feel real and special for you? Have you combined traditions? Created new ones? Scrapped old ones?
Post # 3
I can’t answer this, but am interested in what other people have to say!
Post # 4
Me too 🙂
I can answer it a little bit but I’d love to hear what has worked for other people.
As for the daily traditions, we started reading a doctrine and philosophy book together (something we’re both interested in), but with schedules we’ve been doing it less and less. We need to set up as specific time to do it, but the days seem to get away from us.
As for the holidays, we kinda did stuff my family does and then lumped his family in occasionally, but it still feels like “my family” rather than “our family”. We were tralking about Halloween the other day and he was excited about staying home and handing out candy, but then I said, “well then I wouldn’t be able to see my family and my nieces and nephews costumes.” We left it at that, I’m not sure what we’re gonna do.
Post # 5
@kala_way: Yeah, I love the idea of starting new traditions! I have a few ideas on stuff that I’d like to implement, but our jobs are pretty draining and require us to be quite creative, so when it comes down to it, neither of us have a whole lot of energy to put into starting new traditions. I do think that it’s a great practice, though.
Post # 6
Being that I and my family is Christian and Mr. Hedgie and his family is Jewish we have already begun creating new traditions and new ways of celebrating holidays. This year was Mr. Hedgies first Christmas and he loved it. We did things differently because it was the first year I wasn’t living at home or staying with my parents for Christmas and I think I saw some beginnings of new traditions there. Our melding of two religions has certainly created new holiday celebrations for both of us. Now, until we have a family, other traditions probably wont develop. But I can’t wait to see if and when they do!
Post # 7
I love the idea of creating traditions. Right now, we have: carving a pumpkin for every Halloween, decorating a New Year’s tree together, and opening holiday presents on New Year’s Day (russian tradition). We’re also kind of doing a weekly pizza night, which I would love to keep going. I definitely want to start creating traditions that we can carry on with our kids, so they can look back and say, I’ll always remember doing x around Thanksgiving/every Friday night/etc.
Post # 8
We have a few traditions that are just for “us.” We pray briefly in the morning when we wake up. We also always read a chapter of a book together at night. We have a Kindle, so every few weeks we decide on a book we’d like to read, load it on there, and I read a chapter aloud. Right now we’re reading about Christian business practices because Darling Husband just started his own law practice. Then we pray together before going to bed. I like these traditions because we can do them anywhere, at any time, and I think its cool to have a habit of praying together.
Another hilarious tradition we have is that my husband always takes me to a steakhouse each month during my period. He freaks out and thinks I’m hemorraging, so he makes me eat a big steak. Otherwise, he thinks I will die of iron deficiency. I like steak, so I’m not one to complain.
As far as family traditions, our families value different holidays, which has been great. For example, Christmas is a HUGE deal to DH’s mom and its less important in my family. But I LOVE Thanksgiving (plus my family loves to cook!) So we’ve gone to my parents for Thanksgiving in LA and to snowy Michigan for Christmas with his family. But we then go back to my parents for New Year’s because my dad’s birthday is January 1. Birthdays are a bigger deal in my family, so we tend to fuss about it. I think this means our kids are going to have great holidays!
Overall, I think traditions are going to matter more to us once we have kids. We only live 400 miles (or a 1 hour flight) but DH’s family is in Michigan. So we’ve talked about trying to arrange our work schedules in a way where we can take our kids to spend a month every summer out there so they can spend quality time with both sets of grandparents.
Post # 9
@hilsy85: yea, it’s a good point that a lot of traditions are kind of focused around children. Darling Husband and I aren’t planning on having kids but I still want to create things between us and our extended family that feel like “us”. I think trips and Yosemite might be that for us more than holidays alone.
@Ginger123:DH’s family is the same with loving birthdays. I was lucky to get a cake for my birthday after age 16 and one nice gift from my parents. With Darling Husband it’s like a 2 week long event with parties and dinners and concerts and gifts. It’s crazy! Can’t say I’m complaining since my birthday is in a few days, but it makes me feel inadequate when it comes to celebrating his birthday.
Post # 10
We don’t have any traditions that we do every day. We do have some holiday traditions though. I get the 2 color assorted balls at Walmart for the Christmas tree, and I will do a new one every year until we have them all. Last year I did blue and silver, and I think this year I will do green and brown. We also (me, hubs and my bff – we are like 3 peas in a pod) get one of those ceramic ornaments made every year. You know, the ones that they have in the kiosks at the mall? We have been doing that for about 6 years now, and those and the Walmart ornaments are all I put on the tree.
We also do a Chinese gift exchange with all our friends every year. We all get together for a pot luck and party, that way we don’t have to buy gifts for everyone, just the one. We’ve been doing that for about 10 years, before hubs and I actually got together. Its cool to look back over the years, but a lot of the core people aren’t around anymore, so the guest list has definitely evolved since then 🙁
Post # 11
We also plan to do trips every year for our anniversary, instead of buying each other presents. I got that from my old boss. Her and her husband do that every year, and I thought it was neat, so we are adopting that!
Post # 12
@Ginger123: I love the steakhouse tradition!!
As for us – no real daily traditions other than kissing each other hello and goodbye when we see / leave each other.
We celebrate our wedding ‘day’ anniversary every month (it’s our dating and engagement ‘day’ too). Nothing crazy – but we try to do something just the two of us and are purposeful about it.
As for holidays – nothing really established – we are still navigating trying to compromise and work through unmet extended family expectations… Actually – now that I think of it – this started a couple years ago: Darling Husband gets our tree the day after Thanksgiving and we decorate it together.
In thinking about how to do anniversary presents – the plan is to buy things together. And, for Christmas we are talking about doing one big purchase that we both will enjoy (vs. individual gifts) and I really like that idea!
Post # 13
@Ginger123: The steakhouse thing is too funny!
As for Fiance and I, I think we’re still sorting things out tradition wise. We do what feels right for us and I’m sure we’ll find ourselves repeating things and turning them into traditions.
Post # 14
We don’t really have any traditions yet. A few weeks ago, we planned a dinner party for all of our friends. It was a great time! I did a lot of appetizers and he grilled. He’s excited about the grill, so we talked about doing it once every month or two. That way people can hang out at our house, since we always go to other people’s houses. We thought we were going to have a date night set for each week, but that never happened. We really like movies, so we were going to go to the movie theater on Tuesdays because they have $2 movies and $2 popcorn. So far we haven’t done this. I think we should sit down together and figure out what we can do together! It’s a fun idea 🙂 I really want to start praying together every night as well.
As for holiday traditions, his mom always buys everyone an ornament for Christmas. It usually represents the person who she buys it for. We wanted to do this tradition for ourselves, but it never panned out. We need to come up with some of our own ideas!
Post # 15
Doing something every week at a specific time is difficult for us because of DH’s work schedule. But I think we as a couple do have our own little traditions. And I believe that traditions just develop over time. It’s not like you one day decide to start a tradition. For us, it’s more that one of us or both come up with something and if we like it, we do it over and over again = it becomes a tradition.
Post # 16
We used to do Sunday brunch with just the two of us or friends every Sunday but it got too expensive because we were always hosting. We now do a monthly fondue night with friends, go on a walk together with the dog every day, have a weekly pizza night, celebrate Thanksgiving with my ILs, go to my mom’s on Christmas Eve…I feel like there will be more traditions that develop over time, especially once we have kids!