(Closed) Creation of new surname with SO after marriage? Would you? Why? Why Not?

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think this idea was referenced in the movie Father of the Bride. For me, personally, I did not consider creating a new surname. I am fine with DH’s last name or even keeping my maiden name. Using the established last name is nice for historical purposes and saves the effort of reinventing the wheel.

I suppose a last name like Hitler or Madoff or something might be a different story, but even if you change your last name so drastically, the original last name will always be a part of you. 

Post # 3
398 posts
Helper bee

I would prefer a new name over my FI’s last name. He’s father is abusive and out of his life. 

I kind of want to take my mother’s maiden name as our new name. We are still in talks about it. I’d be open to a completely neutral name that’s new to both of us. He’s less okay with the idea. 

I think carrying on the family name is nice, but his last name isn’t the last name of the rest of his family (he has 4 step siblings and a half-sibling with his stepfathers last name). So I don’t know what we will end up doing.

I do know I ultimately prefer having the same name, and I’d take his before keeping the same names or hyphenated our names (Tbh, I’m not that attached to my maiden name). 

Post # 5
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmm. I mean, technically a lot of last names are about where an ancestor lived or what their job was, so why not pick a new name to reflect yourselves instead of your ancestors? Like if you live near the ocean, you could pick something related to that.

At first I thought you were referring to blending names. I think that can be a great option for some people but in my case our clear options were too long and/or silly, and I’m not sure what would happen if that went on for generations.

I took DH’s last name, because I like sharing a last name with him as well as his family, and his first name sounds very silly with my last name.

Post # 6
46 posts

I considered making a new last name or combining our last names together somehow, but then I realized I would thwart any future attempts at searches through our family tree.  It would make it more difficult for people to find me via social media and I wouldn’t even know where to begin when choosing a whole new name.  As for combining them, I just can’t find a good sounding name by doing that.  

Post # 7
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We’re not CREATING a new surname per se, but we’ve decided to take my grandma’s maiden name which means going through the whole legal name change process. Neither of us have had positive relationships with our fathers so getting rid of their surnames felt important in terms of starting our own family and life together. We both love my grandma to bits and she’s absolutely thrilled. 

We’d originally intended to pick a new name but were having a really difficult time figuring out something that fit. My grandma’s maiden name ends in the same few letters as my current surname and allows my fiancée to keep her initials, so it feels familiar but new ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 9
46 posts

I feel like I would rather come up with a whole new name that hasn’t ever existed than choose one we both liked.  I don’t know, I guess picking a new last name that has existed (like Smith) is weird because then you falsely give yourself someone’s family name.  I feel like that’s weird even if it’s a common name because I would be a little bewildered to find out that someone changed their last name to mine because it ‘suited’ them.

Post # 10
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I wanted to do something like this!  I wanted to do a mash-up of both our last names and create a whole new one.  My Fiance didn’t like that idea very much though.  If he was on board I’d want to do.

Post # 12
46 posts

I know ๐Ÿ˜‰ It is so hard when there are limitless possibilities and you are choosing for you, your partner, and your future children, their children, etc, etc… lol

Post # 13
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My husband and I combined our last names. It was fun trying out different iterations of our names & deciding on the one we liked best!

Post # 14
2348 posts
Buzzing bee

flutterbiikisses: We aren’t changing our names at all. We talked about doing a mash-up or creating a new last name, and honestly if it were done more frequently and more socially accepted/known we would probably do it. As it stands I felt like it would just take so much explaining to people that it would become a burden. We’d have to explain our new name choice to our families, our friends, our employers, etc. They’d inevitably ask why I didn’t change my name, why we didn’t hyphenate, how we came up with our new name, etc. I’m super non-confrontational and kind of awkward about people things so to me this prospect is terrifying.

I’m not down with the whole lady changes her name and guy keeps his and I don’t like hyphenated names so that pretty much just left doing nothing. 

Post # 15
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I liked the idea, since both of us have awful surnames and we could make something that actually sounds nice by combining them, but Darling Husband wasn’t down with that. 

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