(Closed) Creation of new surname with SO after marriage? Would you? Why? Why Not?

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 16
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

I wouldn’t because of religious beliefs, I think’s its just a personal beliefs and preference kind of thing. In my religion the husband keeps his last name, the wife keeps her last name (which should be her father’s last name) and the children get the husband’s name. We do it to establish lineage and heritage (adopted children keep their birth father’s name also) Women keep their last name because they aren’t the blood relation of their husband/ his property. But if you really like the idea of creating a new surname- go for it! it’s cool and interesting!

Post # 19
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would like to do this, but SO wouldn’t. So we’re both just going to keep our original names. 

Post # 20
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Well our last names are kind of similar, so if we tried to combine them it wouldn’t quite work because they end in the same 3 letters, so if we did half of one name and half the other, it would still end up being the original of one of the name. 

I’ll be taking his last name, mostly because I always dreamed of being able to take my husbands last name and also because if we did something different it would probably just create a fuss in his family that I’m not passionate enough about to want to deal with

Post # 21
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

flutterbiikisses:  I did this! We completely made up our last name. We wanted to have the same last name but had some complicated family stuff. He has his bio dad’s last name, but isn’t close to bio dad and is much closer to his mom and stepdad. My parents are married to one another but my mom never changed her last name. My maiden name was first name, moms last name as middle name, father’s last name. My sister has the same thing. So we were like eff it and made up a new name.

Just FYI, at least in Maryland if you do this you can’t just change your last name via your marriage certificate. We had to file a request for a name change with the court. It wasn’t difficult, but it was an extra step. We couldn’t get to social security cards, IDs, passports, etc etc until we had the name changes back. In some states if you are combining your last names into one new one (like Smith + Jones becomes Smones) you can do that with your marriage certificate.

ETA: We have had basically no negative responses to this. Most people who knew both of us werent’t too surprised. And for work and stuff like that, people were just like ok, that’s cool, got married, new name, whatever. We don’t even really tell new people that our name is made up unless it comes up somehow. Just introduce ourselves as X and Y Lastname and people are fine with it. Occasionally someone will say, oh, that’s my mom’s maiden name, I wonder if it’s the same family. And we just say no, probably not, we actually created a new name for ourselves when we got married.

Also if you say ‘created’ it sounds better than ‘made up’ to people for some reason.

Post # 22
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not really a fan of it and wouldn’t do it for myself. I was happy taking my husband’s name. 

Post # 23
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

flutterbiikisses:  I think if there was a past history of poor behavior in the family, etc. (kind of like what you said), I would consider it. I would NOT consider it if it was a loving family. 

Post # 24
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

flutterbiikisses:  I never thought about that, but I can see why you would want to make your own if there’s some very negative connotation with your FI’s

Post # 26
Member
49 posts
Newbee

I totally would, our names sound cool combined, and I love the idea that our family is the only ones in the world with that name. But Fiance doesn’t like any stuff like that he’s much more traditional, so he’s keeping his, and I’m keeping mine.

Post # 27
Member
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wouldn’t, personally. FI’s name suits him, and I’ve always been excited to change my name when I got married (not because I dislike my last name though) so I’m taking his last name.

In your case, it sounds like maybe FI’s dad was into some shifty stuff, if dad’s also on board with you both changing for your safety.

I say go for it.  Screw anyones raised eyebrows.  You’re both consenting adults and you don’t need the general public to sign off on your name change.  If anyone says anything snarky, just say that you chose to create something new for just you two, to begin your new lives together.

Post # 28
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

flutterbiikisses:  In Sweden it’s actually pretty common to do this. People doing it either combine their names to make a new one, or just make it up. However, you need the Tax Authority’s approval to change your name, so you can’t just choose anything. And if it’s a rare-ish surname that already exists, you either need to marry into the name or get the approval of everyone with it.

Anyway, one example is a couple that was in the news because they named themselves Honungsmåne, which is the literal Swedish translation of honeymoon (so honey and moon) 😛

Post # 29
Member
3867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

flutterbiikisses:  I’m taking FI’s last name. I’m not all that attached to my married name enough to keep it. Truthfully, I’m not 100% jazzed about my married name, but I like that I get to share it with him. We were in serious discussions to select a different last name, but, like baby names we fight over regularly, we found we were no better suited to select a last name that meant as much to us equally.

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