Post # 16
I wouldn’t because of religious beliefs, I think’s its just a personal beliefs and preference kind of thing. In my religion the husband keeps his last name, the wife keeps her last name (which should be her father’s last name) and the children get the husband’s name. We do it to establish lineage and heritage (adopted children keep their birth father’s name also) Women keep their last name because they aren’t the blood relation of their husband/ his property. But if you really like the idea of creating a new surname- go for it! it’s cool and interesting!
Post # 17
mahren1: I believe this is like many or those who dont have religious beliefs are just set in tradition and keeping the family name going. Thankfully in our instance Fiance has 4 brothers and those brothers between them have 6 boys with their surname so its no loss in the linage and heritage thing. For us it is now up to what we want to choose as a surname.
Post # 18
swonderful: Though I understand keeping surname for career basis or something of value in that regard. Once you get married I assume in most cases employers, family and friends would expect you to take on a new name. I have considered how it effects my husband though, anyone who knows his last name may wonder if he had instead chosen to take my last name, though anyone who knows both our last names – like you say, may raise an eyebrow. We intend to move and start over after marriage so really no one will know us and family wont be involved in anything that includes our new surname, all those considerations others may need to make, we no longer need to. I do want to consider opinions and thoughts though before I go ahead with it. There may be an aspect of some sort I hadnt yet considered.
Post # 19
I would like to do this, but SO wouldn’t. So we’re both just going to keep our original names.
Post # 20
Well our last names are kind of similar, so if we tried to combine them it wouldn’t quite work because they end in the same 3 letters, so if we did half of one name and half the other, it would still end up being the original of one of the name.
I’ll be taking his last name, mostly because I always dreamed of being able to take my husbands last name and also because if we did something different it would probably just create a fuss in his family that I’m not passionate enough about to want to deal with
Post # 21
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
flutterbiikisses: I did this! We completely made up our last name. We wanted to have the same last name but had some complicated family stuff. He has his bio dad’s last name, but isn’t close to bio dad and is much closer to his mom and stepdad. My parents are married to one another but my mom never changed her last name. My maiden name was first name, moms last name as middle name, father’s last name. My sister has the same thing. So we were like eff it and made up a new name.
Just FYI, at least in Maryland if you do this you can’t just change your last name via your marriage certificate. We had to file a request for a name change with the court. It wasn’t difficult, but it was an extra step. We couldn’t get to social security cards, IDs, passports, etc etc until we had the name changes back. In some states if you are combining your last names into one new one (like Smith + Jones becomes Smones) you can do that with your marriage certificate.
ETA: We have had basically no negative responses to this. Most people who knew both of us werent’t too surprised. And for work and stuff like that, people were just like ok, that’s cool, got married, new name, whatever. We don’t even really tell new people that our name is made up unless it comes up somehow. Just introduce ourselves as X and Y Lastname and people are fine with it. Occasionally someone will say, oh, that’s my mom’s maiden name, I wonder if it’s the same family. And we just say no, probably not, we actually created a new name for ourselves when we got married.
Also if you say ‘created’ it sounds better than ‘made up’ to people for some reason.
Post # 22
I’m not really a fan of it and wouldn’t do it for myself. I was happy taking my husband’s name.
Post # 23
flutterbiikisses: I think if there was a past history of poor behavior in the family, etc. (kind of like what you said), I would consider it. I would NOT consider it if it was a loving family.
Post # 24
flutterbiikisses: I never thought about that, but I can see why you would want to make your own if there’s some very negative connotation with your FI’s
Post # 25
soontobeMrsBoo: Well there you go then 🙂 so it works more than just in theory. I dont believe we would have any issues either in doing it. Like you have advised I dont think anyone is going to know the difference 🙂 thank you
Post # 26
I totally would, our names sound cool combined, and I love the idea that our family is the only ones in the world with that name. But Fiance doesn’t like any stuff like that he’s much more traditional, so he’s keeping his, and I’m keeping mine.
Post # 27
I wouldn’t, personally. FI’s name suits him, and I’ve always been excited to change my name when I got married (not because I dislike my last name though) so I’m taking his last name.
In your case, it sounds like maybe FI’s dad was into some shifty stuff, if dad’s also on board with you both changing for your safety.
I say go for it. Screw anyones raised eyebrows. You’re both consenting adults and you don’t need the general public to sign off on your name change. If anyone says anything snarky, just say that you chose to create something new for just you two, to begin your new lives together.
Post # 28
flutterbiikisses: In Sweden it’s actually pretty common to do this. People doing it either combine their names to make a new one, or just make it up. However, you need the Tax Authority’s approval to change your name, so you can’t just choose anything. And if it’s a rare-ish surname that already exists, you either need to marry into the name or get the approval of everyone with it.
Anyway, one example is a couple that was in the news because they named themselves Honungsmåne, which is the literal Swedish translation of honeymoon (so honey and moon) 😛
Post # 29
flutterbiikisses: I’m taking FI’s last name. I’m not all that attached to my married name enough to keep it. Truthfully, I’m not 100% jazzed about my married name, but I like that I get to share it with him. We were in serious discussions to select a different last name, but, like baby names we fight over regularly, we found we were no better suited to select a last name that meant as much to us equally.