(Closed) Creative Solutions – to solve our ring dilemma (he bought the wrong one!!)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Congratulations on your engagement!!!

I am sorry that his mother interfered and that the sales people were so pushy.

I suggest that instead of exchanging the ring and/or getting new one that you get a diamond and sapphire wedding band or wrap. I think that would be the best of both worlds.

Post # 5
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My mom has a gorgeous sapphire anniversary band, that looks like a wedding band, and you could definitely wear it with the right e-ring. It’s princess cut sapphires with pave diamonds above and below the sapphires. Gorgeous! 

Post # 6
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

To echo phxbride87, remember that your engagement ring is only the FIRST ring that you’ll probably receive in a marriage–not the last. 1/2 of my friends–that’s right, 1/2–don’t even wear theirs on a regular basis after being marriage (granted, most of them have jobs that make wearing a big rock cumbersome…but just so you know, it’s not like the e-ring gets stapled to your finger). I don’t wear mine everyday.

I suggest that you accept the e-ring for what it is–a beautiful diamond–and look at wedding bands that have sapphires in them. Then discuss with your FI/DH getting a sapphire for something like your first anniversary, first child, first job promotion etc. You can also add sidestones to your e-ring for your 5-10 year annivesary. I wanted a pearl engagement ring and got a diamond, so we agreed that the next piece of significant jewelry would be a pearl ring.

I have two wedding rings (I couldn’t decide between two) and one engagement ring and I switch them around in a bunch of permutations between my left and right ring fingers–our rule is that at least one of the three has to be on my left hand. It’s not a solution for everyone, but I’m kind of a mercurial girl when it comes to jewelry and appreciate the flexibility.

Post # 7
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Sorry if I didn’t understand your post fully…I know you said that the store told him you couldn’t RETURN the ring…but could you switch the diamond out for a sapphire? Or possibly add some sapphires around the diamond setting?

I would also try checking out other jewlers (especially private ones, instead of the chain companies), ’cause it sure sounds like the store he was at is full of pushy, unhelpful salespeople. In any case, DEFINATELY don’t buy your wedding bands there!

I would be mad at his mother, too. : / But there’s not much you can do about it. Maybe mention that you appreciate that she wants to make sure that you like your ring, and that you’re happy she’s excited about the proposal & upcoming marriage, but that you had expressly told your FH that you wanted a sapphire, not a diamond, if you REALLY feel like you need to address it.

(And congrats on the engagement!)

Post # 8
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@JennyW1: Good point! : )

Post # 9
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@JennyW1: Ditto what you said!

 

Also, most jewelery stores have an upgrade policy and I don’t see why they wouldn’t work with you on getting a sapphire instead of a diamond. Is it the gem or the setting that they say they can’t return?

Post # 10
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Treasure43: The problem with that is exchanging the diamond for a sapphire wouldn’t be considered an “upgrade” by the jeweler because it would be of less value. Many jewelers even have a specific percentage of either price increase or clarity/color increase (in the case of a diamond to a diamond) that an upgrade must meet to qualify. :/

OP, I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated! But I just wanted to also point out that I think you may be reading into his decision a little more than you shoud be. I really don’t think he values his mother’s opinion over your own, or that he didn’t think your choice was important enough to not let the salesmen sway him, but rather, those people may have pointed out to him what some people consider to be disadvantages of having an “alternative” to a diamond that could have genuinely caused him to change his decision on his own.

For example, lots of girls have gorgeous non-diamond e-rings, but they do sometimes get frustrated with unsolicited remarks from both strangers and friends/family questioning whether or not it’s actually an e-ring, or rude comments about the amount of money spent, or that you can “upgrade” later, etc. There can be drawbacks, and your Fiance was probably just trying to do what he thought you would most be happy with in the long run.

Anyway, I think going with a sapphire wedding band is a great idea!! That would be a really beautiful combination. I hope you feel better about your ring situation soon. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@incapable: Glad that everything worked out for you! : ) Enjoy your engagement!

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