Creative ways to ask you friends to be a bridesmaid.

posted 3 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
11 posts
  • Wedding: June 2020


Hi! I created a “will you be my bridesmaid box” for each of my girls!  I got them a candle, face mask, chocolates, a mini bottle of rose, and a stemless champagne flute off etsy with their names on it.  Each box was approximately $25.  That being said even if you got one thing and not a whole box it would be aborable!   I also live in the midwest and have a west coast and east coast bridesmaid.  I just make sure to keep open communication about expectations.  I let them know i only needed them in person for the rehearsal dinner and day of wedding. They still help plan things and  give me advice along the way.  Just figure out how involved you want them and dont feel bad if they say no!  

Good luck! 

Post # 3
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

No long-distance bridesmaids but my husband’s friend lives far away, he just timed asking him to be a groomsman when he was home the next time. He also did not pick this friend to be his best man since he lived like across the country from us.

I wanted to spend more on gifts for my girls for the actual wedding (personalized make-up bag/pouch, jewelry, monogrammed Yeti wine glass and one more thing I think) so I went more budget-friendly for their “asking to be a bridesmaid gifts”

All I did was went to a local bath and body store where she made all-natural bath products and got some bath bombs and had them type up a sticker that said something to the effect of “I need you by my side to soak it all in with me. Will you be my bridesmaid?” and it was wrapped very nicely. Ta-Dah.

Post # 4
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I live at least 1.5 hours from all of my bridesmaids. One of them is 2.5 hours away and the furthest one is 4 hours. I didn’t factor in location when deciding who to pick, I don’t see the relevance. The only person I’ve not asked yet is my cousin who lives overseas, as I don’t want to formalise asking her to be a bridesmaid till I know 10000000% she will attend the wedding.

I guess it depends on your expectations though. My expectation is that we will have fun together during the build up to the wedding and that they will be there on the day right next to me. I am trying to co-ordinate a group meetup for all of us this summer (I am having 8 bridesmaids from various circles/stages in my life), but I already know the one who lives 4 hours away can’t make it. This doesn’t bother me. But if your bridesmaids are going to have to actively do things to help you plan/execute your wedding then I guess location may be relevant?

I didn’t ask in any sort of creative way, I just waited till we were all together in person at my engagement party and asked them then. No one was less excited or touched than they would have been if I had done some sort of a grand or creative gesture, so personally I don’t see the point.

Post # 5
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I was fortunate to be able to ask all of my bridesmaids in person, including my sister and her daughters (daughters were junior bridesmaids) who lives several stares away due to a well timed family vacation. I still assembled gifts / boxes to ask them though. 


For the adults, I got them beaded clutches from BHLDN, rose gold bridesmaid bracelets from Kate spade, and wrote cards out to them. Etsy has a plethora of these. For my junior bridesmaids, I found gorgeous druzy quartz necklaces on Etsy (also with rose gold chains), and did a modified version of this that included a ring pop:

Post # 6
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

So far I’ve asked two of my four bridesmaids.  I asked them both in person with a handwritten card, and they both loved it.  I will have to mail one to my sister though because I won’t be seeing her before the wedding.  Two of my bridesmaids are 3000 miles away and the other two are local – but I think it’s okay! Just be realistic about what they can attend and do.

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