(Closed) Creepy proposal

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
1320 posts
Bumble bee

@kirakirauponatime:  I apologize, but this seriously made me LOL since it sounds like something out of a sitcom (one of those secondhand embarrassing situations where the guy awkwardly bumbles the proposal and there is no laugh track/music to lighten the tension). 

Have you two spoken about the proposal/rejection? Was it the proposal itself that made you say no, or is it the man himself that puts you off? Do you want to marry him?

I think you need to assess whether or not marriage is in the cards for you both, and have an honest heart-to-heart with him. You should both be on the same page about your relationship, but you cannot determine where the other person stands/how they feel until you comunicate. 

If it is too difficult to see his family right now, maybe you can stay at a friend’s house for a few days. I am sure he would welcome the space to collect his thoughts and emotions, as well.

Post # 4
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow that sounds awkward

Post # 6
1320 posts
Bumble bee

@kirakirauponatime:  I think that after you both talk to one another about this, and what it means for your relationship, he can re-propose at a later date and then you’ll both look back and laugh at the first botched proposal. 

But honestly? Rejection is not easy (even if it’s warranted). Your BF needs time to deal with your rejection and then he will be willing to talk. I would:

  1. give him some time to broach the subject himself when he is finally ready to talk about it
  2. or give him a some time, but if he doesn’t bring it up in a couple of days, then you approach him
  3. or give one another time AND physical space (to help both of you process everything separately) and then you both mutually agree on a time and place to hash things out (without his sister there)

Post # 7
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@kirakirauponatime:  Good grief! This is so weird. I’m not sure what you should do totally. Do you want to marry this man? I think if you love him, then maybe you should approach him and tell him that you want a different proposal, a more romantic one like he suggested and preferably a more normal one.. LOL.

If you are unsure, I wouldn’t move out just yet. But talk to him about it and be very open about your feelings and let him talk if he is upset.

Post # 8
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@MlleFabuleux:  Was it the proposal itself that made you say no, or is it the man himself that puts you off? Do you want to marry him?


If my Fiance had done that with the build up and lights and even the depressed sister I would have been over the moon excited!!! Even if the ring were boring, I would SILL be over the moon to receive it and wear it for the rest of my life. He could have proposed covered in dung and I would have said yes (and then insisted on a hot bath!) Why? Because I have no doubts that he is the one.


View original reply
@kirakirauponatime: If you really want to marry someone you don’t care about the particulars of the proposal (though you may be disappointed if you had imagined some spectacular scene, or if it was at an inappropriate time like following a bit fight). Your story screams doubt at me, but you say you love him so if you see any serious future I suggest that you stay in the house and talk things out with your boyfriend (and avoid the creepy sister). If you don’t see any future in you both I’d leave now so your boyfriend can heal in his own time.




Post # 10
1320 posts
Bumble bee

@kirakirauponatime:  Aw that’s great news. Congratulations and I am glad everything worked out (and no creepy sister). ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant

This really made me LOL, sorry.  Just the way you described the lighting and the sister sitting in the corner in the dark watching.  It was like a worst-nightmare proposal.  I’m sorry you had that happen to you.

The puppy proposal does sound super cute though.  I’m glad you worked it out and made a good memory out of the whole thing!

Post # 12
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

LOL! This really made me laugh, but I feel sorry for your (Now)FI. He probably tried, but didn’t think it through properly ๐Ÿ™‚

Love the puppy proposal – that’s how my Fiance proposed to me, and it was just perfect. Our furbaby is going to be our ring bearer for the wedding, and he will once again be carrying the rings on his collar. So cute!

Post # 13
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@kirakirauponatime:  awwwww! That first proposal was seriously absurd!!! The lights! His sister!! Auuughhh!

glad it worked out!

Post # 14
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t know… it kind of sounds like you don’t want to marry him. You sure you’re not just convincing yourself that you do? The fact that you asked if you should pack up and leave speaks volumes to me. If you were *in love* with him you wouldn’t even consider that. 


That was a wonderful description by the way.. I felt as if I was there ๐Ÿ™‚


Edit: I just read your update. I truly do wish you guys the best, it sounds like you are excited. Sometimes it’s hard to get the full story from one post.




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