Post # 1
hi i have been married for two years now..my Mother-In-Law is critical and from one of the very first times i met her, she started bashing my husbands’s brother’s wife, so the other daughter in law. Right off the bat told me about the other daughter in law and basically all the things she doesnt like about her and all the drama of when they got married. It made me uncomfortable and it still does as she is always critical. Everytime i am around her she says something negative about the other DIL. I have been keeping my distance cause the more i am around Mother-In-Law, the more i dont really like her at all. She thinks my life should revolve around her and now that it doesnt, i dont think she likes me anymore either. I am pretty sure she is gossiping about me now the same way she does the other daughter in law. How can I learn to stomach her when i really cant take her?? I feel bad but i dont like being around someone like this at all. My husband doesnt really see it as it is his mother. he knows she is opinionated i guess, but ignores it. Its harder for me to ignore when it is right in my face. I dont want kids just cause i am afraid i’ll have to see Mother-In-Law even more!! I know it is stupid but still….help!
Post # 2
She also makes me feel guilty for not spending every waking minute with her…which annoys me too
Post # 3
warriorgirl : How does she make you feel guilty for not spending all of your time with her? LIke what is she saying or doing? How often do you currently see her?
I’ve heard my Mother-In-Law bad mouth the other SO’s of my husbands siblings, so it’s crossed my mind that perhaps she does it about me too but honestly I don’t really care. As long as she isn’t talking shit about me to my husband and trying to get in between us, it doesn’t bother me. Some people just like to gossip or find things to talk about, doesn’t make them true and it’s not something you should spend so much time worrying about.
There’s no reason you shouldnt have children because you’re worried about your Mother-In-Law, you and your husband just need to create boundaries with her and stick to those boundaries.
Post # 4
I have to limit my contact with future mother in law because she’s judgmental and gossipy. I really struggle with people like that and I usually have to tell them that I don’t like judging people based on her stupid prejudices. I hold my tounge for my fiancé’s sake, he wants us to get on. So I see them once every few months for birthdays and at Christmas, but make sure I’m working on weekends he’s going round. That way I can blame my job for me not seeing her more often.
Post # 5
If she is saying bad things about someone else to you when you first meet her, she’s saying bad things about you to them.
that’s a given.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to be around that, this kind of thing makes me really uncomfortable as I don’t talk behind my friends’ and family’s backs.
Try not to engage her when she starts in. as far as the future goes, If she doesn’t model good behavior, limit her time alone with your kids.
Post # 6
I know my Mother-In-Law doesn’t really “accept” me and compares me to other DIL in the family. I just try to ignore her and let Darling Husband deal with her. His mother, his problem.