(Closed) Critique my MOH speech?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly this feels really long to me and kind of scattered. I like the talking about how great she is and giving him advice. I’d maybe focus on those things and make it more concise. Something more along the lines of number 3 with some serious ones thrown in. I’d probably do 5 things to know to love “your friend”.

But maybe I’m biased. I hate the toasts. 🙂

Post # 4
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

“For those of you that do, relax, I’ll try to keep this brief”

I don’t really think this is brief at all, and honestly it’s a lot more information about you than I would probably learn on a first date, let alone from a Maid/Matron of Honor speech.

Here’s what I gleaned from your speech:
You’re nervous (what about the bride?)
Your job affords you a lot of downtime
You studied for a Bachelor of Applied Human Services Community and Criminal Justice
You’ve known her for 3 years, which you feel is short
You like shawarma (mentioned multiple times, you must like it a lot!)
Camiee supports your decisions (?)
And she found someone to marry the both of you (what!?),
You relayed some words of wisdom from YOUR supervisor’s father (from your job)
And you’re happy for the Bride and Groom.

I know this sounds harsh, but I just can’t warm up to this speech. I would probably be bored by it if I heard it at a wedding.
I really am sorry, I know you worked pretty hard on it.

Have you tried reading this out loud?
It looks like it might take you a good ten minutes to read.

I think you need to focus mainly on the Bride and Groom, let them know how happy you are and how you know they are happy together, and leave it at that.
The advice is good, stick to that mostly and cut out a lot of the personal stuff.
Aim for three minutes tops – you’ll lose people after that, and you don’t want to do that.

Post # 5
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think… its very long and I personally cannot stand when someone says “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. Marriage is not about the guy just smiling and nodding to avoid conflict. Also, no inside jokes, there are like 150 people in the room who will have no idea what you’re talking about, its exclusionary.

“Good evening everyone!

On behalf of myself and the entire wedding party, congratulations Alex and Camiee – or should I say, Mr. and Mrs. [LAST NAME]! You look gorgeous Camiee; you’re a lucky man, Alex. And to the groom, what a handsome devil you are tonight!

For those of you I haven’t met and don’t know; I’m the very nervous maid of honour, Becca. For those of you that do, relax, I’ll try to keep this brief. I am very lucky to be in a position at work with a lot of downtime so was able to work on my speech during the day. I’ll never forget the moment of watery eyes and goosebumps I forgot writing it. I’m going to try to maintain my composure, but Lord knows that won’t be easy. So, here goes…

Camiee and I go back a ways; somewhat. I guess the saying is true, you never know where you’ll meet your best friend. Camiee and I met through the Bachelor of Applied Human Services Community and Criminal Justice program – say that five times fast – before I deserted her, and left to finish another program. While we’re been friends for a short time; just over three years, it feels like a lifetime. Not only have we been through a lot with one another in these 3 years, including many deep late night conversations, shawarma dates, and Buffalo trips – especially one where we got a little closer than I think either of us ever wanted; but it feels like we’ve been friends forever.

Something we’ve shared and made special over the years is our love for shawarmas – of which Camiee introduced me to; Camiee’s with ceaser dressing instead of garlic aoli, served with fries, and a side of gravy. Not only have we shared many stories there; including those which provoked both laughter and tears, we’ve made a friend with the waitress. It’s to the point where if I go with someone else, I’m questioned on where Camiee is and if she’s okay. Clearly, I’m not the only one who she’s made a  lifelong impression on.  It’s to the point where if either of us are struggling, stressed with exams, work, or just life in general; we meet over a shawarma and all is (mostly) healed. What takes a normal person 20 minutes to eat turns into a 2 hour situation sometimes. But at the end, we’re there for one another and take the time needed to work things out. While we may not talk every day, see each other Camiee has proven time and time again that she is a true friend and we have come to know each other so well that we have an understanding that goes beyond words. She has always supported my decisions with open ears, arms, and heart and I am so thankful to have that. I am also so thankful that she found someone willing to marry the both of us.

I’m pleased to say that after the past 3 years, I’ve also come to know and love Alex. Alex, you make her a very happy woman; which is wonderful, because as the saying goes “happy wife, happy life!” Also, words of wisdom from my supervisor at work which actually came from her 92 year old father on being right; he knew he could be right, or he could be happy. Know that both of those things will often not come together, but it’s much less stressful on both of you to have a genuine smile on your face. Going along with those two excellent pieces of advice, I have a few pieces of advice:”

Everything after this point seemed fine to me

Post # 6
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it needs to be more brief and more personal.

I am also so thankful that she found someone willing to marry the both of us.

I am sorry, but that line is a HUGE no-no. It isn’t funny and it would make me nervous if my friend said something like that.

I would also start with how you met your friend (over shawarmas) and leave the shawarmas at that.

**The Bridesmaid or Best Man stole most of the good stuff for my MOH’s, speech but Bridesmaid or Best Man spoke for max of 3 minutes. He started off by saying how long he knew Darling Husband, and how the first time he met me Darling Husband said, “This is the new girl.” He said he knew I was the one for Darling Husband when I didn’t kill him for hitting my car or having to pull 100+ cactus needles out of his butt. He then said he wanted to give us a congratulations that made “sense” and every guy in the crowd that had a duck call blew them.

That was it. Bridesmaid or Best Man made it about us and how much Darling Husband loved me. He spoke only briefly about he and Darling Husband and growing up together.

Post # 7
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m really not a fan, sorry.


The first paragraph is way too much about you and I’d definitely side eye the part about writing your speech at work.


It’s just kind of all over the place and doesn’t gel well and there are many points where I’m just like uh what’s the point of that?  I think the sentiment is there, you’re just not expressing it very well.


The line about marrying both of you is very odd from someone who doesn’t know the 3 of you. So, if there’s going to be a lot of people that don’t know how close the 3 of you are, I’d take it out.  It can come off the wrong way and again is a bit too much focus on you.


I’d focus on how much you love the bride and groom, how perfect they are for eaech other, etc.

Air on the side of caution (and brevity) – keep it short and sweet and forego the attempt at funny jokes.

Post # 8
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with the PP…way too long and scattered. I stopped reading because I was bored so people will stop listening. I agree with @LGenz:  and how they edited it. Still has a personal touch, but without so many details that only you and a few others would care about. 🙂

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