(Closed) Critique my Speech!

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is the Speech Good?
    Awesome! : (2 votes)
    20 %
    Good : (2 votes)
    20 %
    Meh... : (4 votes)
    40 %
    Change It! (Comment) : (2 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Hi!! I’ve seen no one has replied to this!! I just took the time to read it and I thought it was amazing!! Well written and mentioned everyone you should mention! 

    I would consider these changes πŸ™‚ 

    A massive thank you to my maid-of honor, A***r, my sister. I’d like to thank you for accepting to be my maid-of-honor. You’ve been helpful, supportive and all the things a bride could ask for. I know we had our bumps along the way, but it means the world to me that you were the one to stand beside me when I made my vows to Richard.

    and I would consider (MAYBE, this is just me) cutting down the section to your husband just slightly. Not a lot, because I know you have things you want to say to him and you want to thank him.. Laughing I just think you might start to lose your guests a little bit here, that’s all!!

    I don’t mean to critique it too much, but I know bees come here for honest opinions. Honestly I thought your speech was wonderful.  

    Post # 4
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s really, really long.  Maybe you could cut down each section so you’re not going on and on.  How many people are going to give speeches?

    Post # 5
    3082 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I think it’s too long. The best speeches are short and simple

    Post # 6
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I love what you have to say but I also agree its wayyy too long. Yes people came from far away but they came because they love you both so mention it once but not a whole paragraph. I like how you said you gained new parents but don’t go into resting assured you’ll take care of him because thats gonna make u cry so don’t even try to say it cause from the looks of it you’ll have another 5 minutes left and nobody wants to see a bride cry. I couldn’t read the whole thing because it was too long but special thank you’s should be saved for each person individually and not be put into a whole speech for every person at the wedding to hear. No matter what they did for you, its best to keep those mother thank you’s, and fiance thank you’s and maid of honor thank you’s and flower girl thank you’s and every specific thank you separate. It’ll save a LOT OF TIME and keep everyone interested in what you’re saying. So cut out all of the personal thank you’s there will be a time and place for them, just not addressed to every person at the wedding. You’re saying your speech to thank everyone, not just one two or three people so don’t call people out in your thank you, this is a general speech, a general thank you for everyone who came out, not one person. As for calling your husband out on his bachelor party, although it may seem really funny and a way to bring depth into your toast with laughter as well as tears, this in my opinion is not a good way to do it. You don’t want people thinking any certain things about your husband and while they may or may not, just don’t even put that idea in their heads, about him partying it up. I don’t think it’s a good thing to mention in a speech addressed to the whole wedding congregation. This, once again, goes hand in hand about not thanking each and every person or group that helped you individually. I say don’t even address the groomsman, don’t say their names and don’t even say groomsman. They can be thanked later, they’re your husbands friends for goodness sake, you’ll see them or hear from them again. Don’t mention anything about what may or may not have happened at the bachelor party, although its funny to you and me, you don’t want to put any impressions about him into your guests head. Okay, going on… I love and adore the part where you praise your husband and so will everyone else. This is what your speech should be about and what people are here for. They are here for you and your husband and your happiness. When you thank him for putting up with you through the whole planning process, thats more than enough  to tell your guests how hard you worked on making things perfect and how you’re happy everyone made it to celebrate this very special day with you. I love the whole paragraph about you and your husband and think you’ll probably start crying there too, just do your best to make it through the speech in an audible voice because there’s nothing worse than spending so much time on this and then mumbling through because there’s snot running in your mouth. πŸ™‚ okay, moving on… Also, take out the I love you with all my heart paragraph or sentence part. You’ve said it once, you’ve said it twice, everyone’s here for your wedding, they all know you love him with all your heart, yes I understand nobody is a mind reader and you have to say it to be heard but I think the whole speech is geared towards how much you adore him and I think it can become overly redundant if you just keep saying the same things over and over and over again. Say it once, say it well, and don’t repeat yourself because thats what makes this so long and people may lose interest. The whole thing is very wordy. Yes we want to hear you call him sweetheart and honey and gorgeous and caring, but not all in the same sentence, we’re here at your wedding, we know you love him, you don’t have to use every adjective in the same sentence. Try to keep it less sappy and more matter of fact because the more sappy, the more you’re gonna cry. One thing I’d suggest is, have someone videotape your speech so you can look back on it and remember it but while you’re giving your speech, this is the best advice I can give you, try to separate yourself from your feelings and words. I know they’re your words and they’re your feelings and you want to be caught up in the moment and remember it forever and you will, trust me, but if this is at all possible to you, try to somehow read your speech and pretend your reading your best friends speech for her. Try to separate yourself from the speech so that you can at least get what you want to say out there and then you can cry at the end, just don’t get all caught up in how much you love him and how happy you are during your speech because I fear it’ll ruin the deep thoughts and the deep meanings of what you are saying. Anyway, thats all I’ve got. I think you worked very hard on this and I think you put a lot of hours and thought into this and I think it’ll be great. πŸ™‚

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