(Closed) Crush on FI's friend/co-worker..help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Everyone likes a little attention and excitement but you should nip this in the bud before you put yourself in a bad position.  Stop flirting back (hello FB message) and make sure you don’t end up alone with him, especially if you are drunk or otherwise, out of normal control of your body and mind.

Post # 4
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You must be feeling really guilty but its natural I think. I know that when I’ve fancied someone other than my FH I felt awful too but its OK. Its not real, you know that, and what you have is. Maybe you shouldn’t be friends with him for a little bit>?  If he is married do you know the wife? Maybe meeting her and seeing how “real” she is would help put it into perspective.


Post # 5
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@anon42155:  getting some attention from an attractive person is always exciting. Just stop going through his pictures and when you think of him purposely focus on something else. Try to divide 36471 by the square root of 6973. 

Post # 6
4431 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is all perfectly normal.. But you need to stop it before it escalates!  Your mind is messing with you, and you’re allowing yourself to continue to think about him by checking FB, etc.  I would honestly do more fun things with your Fiance, let your brain remember why you are getting married, and lay off the other dude and only hang out during group activities.  Limit contact! 

If it gets worse, or your relationship with your Fiance is jeopardized, I would say you need to cut him totally out, and re-evaluate your engagement.

Post # 7
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@anon42155:  Then don’t message him anymore and don’t do any other flirtatious stuff. Don’t talk to him unless your Fiance is around.

Post # 8
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@anon42155:  I agree with PP – the attention is nice and letting your mind wander every now and then is normal – but CANT go any farther. 

Don’t be alone with him. No drinking. No actions that you wouldn’t do for any other of FIs co-workers ie. messaging on FB. 

You are still in safe zone, but teetering on the edge. Good luck to you and Fiance.

Post # 9
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Its only our natural biological instinct to be attracted to someone deemed more masculine, or in your head perceived as a superior alpha male.

It will pass, but don’t let it go on or escalate… definitely not more fb messages!!!


Post # 10
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

It’s normal.  One of my coworkers is SO adorable, I totally have a mini-crush on him. You just have to let it pass.

I agree with everyone who says to stop PMing him and ESPECIALLY (!!!!!!) DON’T drink with him!

Post # 11
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

You are fine to feel attracted to someone who is not your husband, but just like PP, I suggest you NOT entertain it.
I think everyone is guilty of finding someone else other than there SO attractive, so don’t think you are alone. However, the FB message was a little overboard.

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