(Closed) cry it out (again)

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

We never did CIO, but I did read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which describes a common CIO method.  I thought it was a gentler option, since you basically go in and reassure your baby at intervals of time instead of just leaving them alone in their crib until they stop crying.  Might be something to look into.

Also, if you are unsure about CIO, I recommended The No Cry Sleep Solution.  It has a lot of good information about forming healthy sleep associations without using CIO.  Different babies respond best to different methods, but for us, once Addie’s teething finally slowed down, she stopped nightwaking and started sleeping through the night all by herself.

Post # 4
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Our 7 month old goes to bed at 6:30 PM. At 9:45 PM, I get him from his crib and give him a “dream feed” (ie I feed him in the dark and he barely wakes up, but he eats a full feed) then he sleeps through until 6:30 AM most nights. Have you considered doing a dream feed before you go to bed?

Post # 5
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

My son is 5-1/2 months and still doesn’t sleep through the night.  If we are lucky it is only one night waking around 1:30am but usually it is 2-3 night wakings.  Even when I nurse him back down he startles awake when I put him in his crib sometimes.  I keep a pacifier on the side of his crib so if he seems unsettled when I put him down I can quick pop in the pacifier and he usually stays asleep for a few more hours.  If I hear him rustling through the monitor but it isn’t wake up sounds sometimes I (or DH) can get in there quick enough to put in his pacifier and he never fully wakes.  I would say the pacifier is our crutch in the middle of the night.  Last night I even brought him to bed with me in the guest room and nursed him down 3 times in a row but everytime he’d wake when I tried to move or he’d cough awake on his last mouthful of milk.  I ended up picking him up, putting in the pacifier and rocking him and within 2 minutes he was fully out and I could put him down. He won’t take a pacifier during the day if I’m around but he’ll take it at night. 

In terms of putting him to sleep initially we have a VERY set routine that is the same every. single. night.  Bath, massage, diaper, book, nurse to drowsy or sleep.  My husband then takes him and burps him, swaddles him and pats or rocks him down.  Because it doesn’t change, he goes to sleep pretty fast once we get to the nursing part, even if he was previously far from sleepy since he associates the routine with being sleepy.

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Our daughter is 14 months and doesn’t sleep through the night yet.  We did a modified cry it out at 12 months.  I don’t think these young babies are ready for CIO and we didn’t do it until it was clear that she was stalling for time at night (asking for water multiple times and tantruming to avoid going to bed).  Of our group of friends, 3 of us did a modified CIO at 12 months and have good success.

Post # 7
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

MB woke at night while BFing.  Once we switched to formula she slept through the night.  She still wakes periodically, but she finds her pacifier on her own and goes back to sleep.

I had the five minute rule.  If I really didn’t think she was hungry or wet or poopy or whatever, I would let her cry for five minutes.  If she was still crying after that, then she needed SOMETHING.  (She rarely lasted five minutes, but that’s because I mostly figured she was hungry or wet.  And I was almost always right.  Trust your instincts!)

Post # 8
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Our baby sleeps 11-12 hours each night – from about 7:30 pm to 7:30 am.  I’ve always felt pretty comfortable with CIO.  We started letting her CIO for about five minutes when she was about three months.  She’s four months old now and we now let her cry up to 20 minutes when we know that she doesn’t need anything (in other words, after she’s had a full feeding, dry diaper, thorough burp, and lots of cuddling :)).  Most nights she doesn’t cry at all, or for less than five minutes, then puts in her usual 11-12 hours of continuous sleep.  I think we’re mostly just lucky, but I also think being formula-fed helps her sleep…

Post # 9
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Three words: Dr. Richard Ferber.  It’s a modified “CIO”.  Just increase the time every 5 minutes.  If baby starts crying in the middle of the night.  Go in, give a pat on the back and some reassurance but DO NOT pick him/her up.  Wait ten minutes, if still crying, go in and repeat, in five minute increments. That way you aren’t leaving them all alone with no comfort but neither are they getting picked up or fed.

The longest my baby went one night was 45 minutes and both of them were Ferberized around 5 months old. Problem solved. No sleeping problems ever (except for during an illness).  I honestly don’t know how anyone can stand to get up night after night. I would die without my sleep! lol

Post # 10
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@candicemcc:  I think our babies are similar in age.  Kayla is 6 months and a week and some change and she isn’t the BEST sleeper.  I followed this thing called the Sleep Sense Program (I have a pdf copy if you want me to email it to you.)  She talks about something called the “Chair Method” and a modified CIO method.  Kayla is GREAT at falling asleep for naps and at night.  However, she still wakes up once a night usually.  We’ve tried literally everything to get rid of this one night waking.  I let her cry for not more than 10 minutes in the middle of the night (and only if it’s not screaming crying…you know what I mean?)  She pretty much never goes back to sleep and honestly, I think she just needs to eat once in the middle of the night.  She goes right back to sleep and usually sleeps through till around 6:30 or 7, but honestly, I’ve tried everything to get rid of that, but honestly, sometimes I think they just need to eat.  Maybe your LO is like that?  Let me know if you want me to send you this PDF book…it’s really great and it does talk about those “crutches” like pacifiers and how you need to teach yoru baby to self soothe and be independent when going to sleep.  I really liked it, and although sleep is still a struggle, I feel good that I’ve tried everything I can think of to help her, but she’s realy happy and smiley during the day and just needs that one feeding at night.

Post # 12
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I don’t love Ferber because it is like an intermittent reward system (which prolongs behaviors), but people swear it works, so maybe my patients have just had bad luck with it.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I never did CIO (though sometimes it was tempting). Mostly we just established a really solid bed time routine. After awhile after I’d pick her up to lay her down she’d lean herself dive-style into her crib! I didn’t like the idea of cry it out and people suggested doing it so early. Babies need comfort and routine and if there is a specific reason baby is not sleeping, I would rather find the cause than let her scream alone in the dark. Sometimes an extra feeding or a fan in the room is all it takes. I know some people swear by it, but it just wasn’t for us. I wanted my daughter to associate her crib with a happy place.

It may have just been dumb luck, but from day one I let my daughter decide when to sleep and when to eat. People said I was crazy for not getting her on a schedule, but by 10 weeks old she had established her own routine based on her needs (not mine!) and was mostly sleeping through the night. I believe because she fed and slept on demand she naturally knew how to fall into a normal pattern.

OH! Another trick I learned. My Dirty Delete would sometimes want a bottle even though I knew she wasn’t hungry, so I’d give her water instead of milk. After awhile she just stopped crying for it altogether because she knew she was just getting a bottle of water! Worked like a charm.

Post # 15
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My son was a HORRIBLE sleeper, but when we finally found a method that worked, it was dancing.  He loves the music played by The Waterboys (an Irish rock band; we danced to “Whole of the Moon” and “This is the Sea”), and I found that if I danced with him in my arms while playing some of the slower tempo songs, he was deeply asleep in 5-10 minutes (one or two songs worth).  Worked for naps, bedtime, and middle of the night wakings from nightmares, etc.  If you don’t want to CIO, maybe something like this would work. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@candicemcc: We had a really rough night last night too!!  Are you having trouble with LO getting to sleep for naps and nighttime or going back to sleep when she wakes up?  Cause we have an issue with the latter.

And everyone seems to say that having this magical bedtime routine will make them sleep through the night, or not giving them any “crutches”, or letting them cry it out, or comforting them when they cry before bed, or singing to them…but seriously, I’ve tried all of these!!!  There is no magical thing that will get baby to sleep through the night.  I have a friend who has a 1 year old and he was up every 3 hours for his entire first year of life…she did everything.  Told me he falls asleep just fine without any crying, but just wakes up constantly.  I think that probably you know your LO best and like I said, maybe our little ones are in cahoots trying to keep us from getting any normal amount of consecutive sleep!  I really think Kayla just needs to eat, because we’ve tried everything!

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