(Closed) Cry it out? I'd love to hear your successful/unsuccessful stories

posted 3 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Cry it out?
    Yes, it's hard but worth it in the long run : (29 votes)
    30 %
    No, it's cruel : (34 votes)
    35 %
    Do what you feel is best for you and your baby : (35 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    blue_cat77 :  That’s not even what he was saying though. He was saying that your husband would cheat on you if you didn’t get your 5 month old sleeping alone. There’s a huge difference between saying that and saying that a baby is physically capable of sleeping on their own.

    Post # 62
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    this thread got slightly derailed, but I think you got a lot of great advice.  I just wanted to add what worked for my family, as we just went through this (my son is 5 months).

    He was sleeping in his rock n play in our room from pretty much day one until 4 months old.  We kept trying to put him down asleep (same as you, we would rock him/feed him/snuggle until he fell asleep).  Then he would wake in the middle of the night and need to be soothed back to sleep.  Like another poster mentioned he had these negative sleep associations and would need them to sleep.  At my 4 month appointment my pediatrician said that around 4-5 months they might start to catch on that crying= mom or dad comes and that 4 months was the perfect age to sleep train baby.  The longer you wait the more the habit will be developed and could potentially be harder to break.

    So we did a modified CIO (i’m sure there is a better name for this…) sort of like you described.  The first night we started his new bedtime routine (bottle, bath, book, then bed).  He got put down awake and happy. Lights out and we left the room.  The first night we started with 2 minutes of crying before going in to soothe.  I would go in and pick him up/bounce/snuggle/whatever until he settled and stopped crying (but NOT asleep).  Then he would go back down awake.  After a few days we bumped it to 5 minutes, then 7 minutes, then 10 minutes and 15 minutes is our max (and still is).  Once he started falling asleep on his own, he stopped waking at night.  We never really had to CIO in the middle of the night, putting himself to sleep solved that for us.  If he did wake in the middle of the night we pretty much followed the same routine (leave him to cry for x amount of time, then go in and soother) unless he needed to eat.  I can tell the difference now between his I need to something cry and his I’m just being fussy cry.  If he starts sounding like he’s getting more worked up, I’ll go in.  

    Again, this worked wonders for us and was about 1-2 weeks before he was sleeping well.  Now at 5 months I put him down, he whines for a minute or two and is out all night.

    Like others have said, consistency is key.  So whatever you and your spouse decide, make a plan and stick to it for a few days.  If after a few days it’s really not working, then maybe try a different method.  All kids are unique and it might take some trial and error to find what works.

    Oh- also, I really hated hearing him cry (broke my heart), so I would turn the sound off on the monitor (I could still see the little lights go up to know he was crying) and set a timer on my phone for the amount of time we were waiting that night, maybe distract myself with a chore, like doing the dishes.  It felt sort of harsh, but it helped me get through it.  Sometimes letting baby cry is harder on mom than baby!

    Whatever you decide I wish you luck!  Sleep training is no joke! 

    Post # 64
    Member
    2160 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    blue_cat77 :  no no, I don’t mean that if a baby wakes up every hour that it’s the parents fault for not satisfying the child’s needs. What I mean is that often the problem can be solved in another way than CIO. It’s just often a long slow process and I do understand that it’s not an option for everyone. At the end of the day, every baby and parent is different. 

    And I do expect my son to start with the tantrums when he was a toddler.. I was talking about small babies. They don’t just cry for no reason. But that’s not to say parents don’t do their best to find out what the reason is. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    1401 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Here’s what I know and what I’ve experienced through my friends and family: regardless of whether or not you sleep train most kids will go through a shitty period of sleep before they’re two and by the time they’re three, you can’t tell if a kid has been sleep trained or not. I have friends that sleep trained their infants and now have preschoolers that aren’t good sleepers, I have a friend who had a unicorn baby until number two arrived, my oldest child co-slept and nursed once a night till eighteen months old but since then has slept like a log and has no issues with bedtime (please cross your fingers I haven’t just jinxed myself!).

    FWIW, I don’t believe in CIO but I do believe in practising good sleep hygiene and that as parents we often have unrealistic expectations of baby behaviour.

    OP – I really believe that your baby is too little to be sleep trained, he’s only just come out of the “4th trimester” and it’s still VERY normal for him to need your presence, support and comfort at night. Have you thought about bed sharing or sidecarring the crib as a way of getting more sleep? You might also want to check out the No Cry Sleep Solution for some gentle ideas to help your wee babe sleep at night.

    Post # 66
    Member
    6778 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

    Our son started sleeping through the night when he was 8 months. We figured out that the extra feedings at night were making him wake up to eat. We made sure he eats a meal and a bottle before going to bed. Sometimes he wakes up really early and wants a bottle. It’s very normal for babies to wake up at night especially before they turn a year old and eat solids consistently. Also, our baby sleeps in his crib in our room since he was three months old. We co-slept for the first three months.

    The topic ‘Cry it out? I'd love to hear your successful/unsuccessful stories’ is closed to new replies.

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