(Closed) Cry It Out: Success Stories? Failures? HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

maybe she cries so much because she is tired? I don’t have kids but my friend has 3 and her first 1 would cry alot because she was not sleeping enough. She started a routine and let her cry it out. Eventually she would fall asleep. She got used to the routine. She learned the difference between sick/hungry/wet/finnicky cries. (I hope I learn the diferences when I have a baby! lol)

Maybe the baby is teething? So she’s upset and in pain?

I’m sorry i’m not much help. My baby experience is only through my friend. But I hope you get more info from other mother bees! Just remember to stay strong if you do CIO! I can only imagine how hard it is to hear your baby cry! Good luck! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I never thought that I would be the cry it out type. However, when I moved in with Darling Husband and his son, 1 at the time, he was still getting up in the middle of the night, I agreed to try the CIO method after I tried everything else. 3 days in, he stopped! And the next time he got up he was 3 years old and nightmares were involved, which is a whole other ball game.

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Does she have a consistent bed time? Does she have a soft low night light (sometimes babies panic waking up in total darkness)? A source of white noise like a fan? Have you talked to her pediatrician about this?

I never did cry it out. Not to spark the dreaded debate, I just think it’s (SORRY!) kind of harsh. If kids associate their crib with memories of endless screaming, of course they aren’t going to want to be in bed. I’d try other methods first, and trust me I am very sympathetic to the no sleep issue. Consistent, solid bed time. She shouldn’t really still be waking up to feed so much. Warm soothing bath right before bed. Fresh linens. Circulating air, soft noise. Night ligt. Military consistent bed time routine. My daughter’s bed time routine takes a good hour, but once it’s done she’s out for the night.

Explore if she’s going through pain or discomfort too, and talk to her pediatrician. When kids are overtired because they aren’t getting a good nap during the day, that can actually keep them up at night.

Post # 9
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I used the cry it out with my son, who’s 4 years old now. It always gets worse before it gets better- but after a week he was really good in his routine and life was much easier.

At the daycare, we layed evey baby 12 months and up on their own cot, played sleepy time music and patted their backs, laying them on their tummy. We didnt  look them in the eyes or talked to them, just patted their backs until they fell asleep.

At first they cried and wiggled and faught, but they learned and got that this was sleepytime and they were in a routine.

Every baby we got, no matter how stubborn, would always submit to the routine and be a happier child becasue of it!

Have you tried forgoing the last nap and putting her down earlier?

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@goodbuddy: If she’s breastfed and waking up to feed at 8 months, she’s doing so for comfort and not (likely) because she is hungry. Frustrated, but probably not hungry.

All babies are different! Some parents do have success at CIO. I can share a little trick that’s worked among people I know with children.

At night, when she wants to feed, give her a bottle with a little water in it. Go in, drop it off, leave. If she’s waking up expecting a meal and mom time and only gets a bottle of water night after night, eventually she’s going to realize that waking herself up to cry isn’t getting her the milk, it’s only keeping her tired and grumpy. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe give it a try? Babies are pretty quick on the uptake.

Post # 11
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I used the CIO method with DS when he didn’t need a middle of the night feeding anymore. First night was the WORST and it felt like time literally was on a stand still. At bedtime it took 45 minutes the first night and then tapered off till night 5 when all he did was whimper some and then went to sleep. After he was good going to bed, I started with his self soothing in the middle of the night. It didn’t take nearly as long for him to adjust to the night wakings as it did bedtime.

I never had issues with him going to bed or staying in bed again and he’s now 7. He’s always felt just fine about bedtime and the only time he’s ever gotten up would be in the middle of the night if he had a bad dream (most of the time associated with a certain period of time having gone by since seeing his bio dad) or if his legs hurt (growing pains).

I say if you’ve tried other things and feel like this might be the best options then go ahead and try it. Know that usually it only takes a few nights for a baby/child to adjust to a new routine and adjusts just fine. =)

Post # 13
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Sassygrn: I read that the other day. Very well written & totally agreed! Since it focused on making sure you were just leaving your kids to “fend” for themselves but making sure they were okay first.

Like with DS if his cry was different than the normal wake up/getting restless cry then I’d check on him… but if it was about the time he normally started movin’ around then I’d wait it out.

I think parents know their childrens temperments best and can usually tell the difference between hungry, scared, or just frustrated b/c they woke up cries. Kinda weird but I remember knowing the differences between DS’s.

Post # 15
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time.  🙁  I know it can be so exhausting (for you and her!) to be up that many times a night.  Hopefully, you can find a solution soon, so you can both get some more rest.

My first thought is that, if you nurse her to sleep and she’s having a tough time putting herself back to sleep in the middle of the night, that may be the problem.  If she associates sleep only with sucking/nursing, any little thing that stirs her in the middle of the night will result in needing to nurse again to go back to sleep.  The first step to self-soothing is to introduce her to multiple ways of falling asleep by breaking that nurse to sleep association (probably what your pedi was advising). 

I read one method of breaking the nurse to sleep association in The No Cry Sleep Solution.  Basically, instead of allowing her to nurse complately to sleep, you break the latch before she falls asleep all the way.  At that point, many babies will kind of startle or wake back up and cry/fuss.  Put her back on the breast and allow her to nurse, again until she is close to sleep, but not all the way.  Break the latch again.  This method may take a long time (a few days to a few weeks, even), but with consistency and patience, she should learn that she doesn’t NEED to nurse to fall asleep.

At that point, you can start introducing other sleep associations.  For example, you can introduce her to a little lovey or a little blanket, basically a security item she learns to associate with sleep.  The great thing about a security object is that even if she wakes up in the middle of the night, it’s still there, and she can use it to fall back asleep.  You can also do things like rock her, pat her back, sing a special song, or repeat a special phrase (e.g. “Night night, honey”) so that she learns multiple ways to fall asleep.  Also, if at all possible, once you introduce a new sleep association to her, your husband should take over middle of the night soothings.  That way, you don’t have the temptation to fall back into old habits of nursing to sleep.

Fwiw, I could never do CIO, either.  It just broke my heart to even think of her crying all alone in her crib.  Instead, I got The No Cry Sleep Solution and used some methods in there to improve DD’s sleep.  We had a rough few months, but by 12 months old her sleep really improved and she started sleeping through the night again and even puts herself to sleep!  I’ve also heard really good things about the book The Baby Whisperer, which also uses no-cry techniques, to get your baby to sleep better.  I think there is a wide spectrum between straight CIO and sacrificng your sleep, and you just need to find the method that works best for you and your family.  Good luck!  I hope things start to improve real soon!

Post # 16
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@goodbuddy: I agree about the study thing. If you read every study everything we do would be “harming” our children.  I think it’s best to figure out what works for your child and your situation. 

I did see another CIO technique.  You go into the room backwards and sit on the floor, with your back to your child, so that your child can see you and feel comforted by your presence, but realize that you are not going to respond to the crying. Once they are to sleep you can then leave the room quietly. I saw this technique work with children who were trying to be broken from co-sleeping habits. It worked as well. 

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