Post # 1
Sorry bees, I post a lot and I’m sure you all think I’m a huge emotional wreck right now (which isn’t that far off lol)
To preface, I’m having a shitty day at work. My last day here is the 21st and I’m getting treated like some kind of leper. No one is talking to me, they all went for a lunch on our floor and didn’t invite me, all exchanging Christmas cards and leaving me out. I get it that they’re pissed that I quit but these are people that I have worked closely with for two years. Just kinda hurts I guess!
Some of you might already know that I’m having a Christmas dilema. The original post is here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/tell-me-honestly-am-i-being-stupid
So anyway – my bf told me today that he can’t believe that I’m actually putting my foot down on this and being so selfish. He totally freaked out (and he’s a calm kind of guy) and his words were “I can’t fucking believe you right now, you’re being so selfish and I’m pissed!” and he won’t talk to me. I feel like I’m losing it. I’m crying in my office (yet again!). I said I’m willing to go to his family Christmas but I only want to do 2 nights at their house and the rest in a hotel. And we have to fit in my family, especially now that I know my brother is proposing on Christmas day.
I don’t even know what to do anymore 🙁
Post # 3
I don’t have much advice, your situation plain old sucks. Your BF sure isn’t helping. Try to talk to him when you get home.
I’m sorry *hugs*
Post # 4
Sorry, OP. Your BF sounds like HE’S the one being selfish and not willing to compromise. I commend you for putting your foot down; you’re trying to be FAIR and he is not. Hope things get better, but I still do not think you should compromise not spending equal time with your family b/c he is being manipulative and selfish.
Sending hugs your way!!
Post # 5
Your BF is being ridiculous.
Post # 7
+1. you need to continue to “put your foot down.” he is being completely irrational and unfair.
Post # 8
Aww sorry to hear you are upset. I think your boyfriend is being quite silly about the whole thing…. I would be upset if I were you too. Hugs to you..hopefully your day and week gets better
Post # 9
+1. I was going to say he was being selfish, but it seems like someone has already beat me to it!
Post # 10
agreed. very selfish of him to not compromise at all.
Post # 11
@givemecouture I’m really sorry to hear how you being treated at work, been there. Just shows how petty ppl really are, don’t let that affect you and bring you down. Right now you need to concentrate on your situation with your BF. IMO he, and his sister, are the ones being selfish and unreasonable NOT you. Not to mention, he’s behaving like a child who has been denied his favorite toy. Like I posted in your previous post, I don’t think there is a way to comprise with these ppl. You need to what’s best for YOU! I still stick my response to your previous post. Also, if I was in your shoes, this situation would make me evaluate my relationship with him. If you guys can’t work it our reasonably, then this is just might a preview what is to come in the future. Good luck!
Post # 12
Your BF is the one being ridiculous and selfish! He wants you to give up Christmas with your entire family just to hang out with his sister/nephews and feel uncomfortable because you have no space or privacy! At this point I would tell him you’ll spend it with your family and he can do whatever he wants.
Sidenote: If your Future Sister-In-Law and EVERYONE in his family keep thinking the world revolves around these nephews and that Christmas is for them… they are going to grow up to be the most spoiled self entitled kids ever.
Post # 13
@givemecouture: ((HUGS)) Oh, hon. You know, never in a million years will a man who really and truly loves you treat you this way. You don’t deserve to be called selfish, as you know in your heart. You’ve been so patient with him in every way. In fact, I think he’s using your kindness, good heart, patience and very unselfish nature against you, as a way to manipulate you into giving him his own way. Again.
Everything is always all about him. When is this going to stop? When you love someone you put them first. You love him and you’ve put him first and agreed to everything he’s asked of you so far. And you’re rightly getting completely fed up with this treatment by now.
I’m proud of you for standing strong.
I also feel for you because how your co-workers are treating you right now is ridiculous and unnecessarily hurtful. At least you’ll be away from them soon. Hang in there, in the meantime. Their behavior is just further confirmation that you made the right choice to leave that job.
And about your SO, you’re learning who he really is, and it’s not sounding as though he would make a good husband to you.
Post # 14
Boooooooo 🙁 I’m so sorry. Your previous post made me so mad for you!!! Your bf is being a total jerk. And your compromise is more than I’d do, I’ll tell you that! I MIGHT be able to convince myself to stay Christmas Eve at their house, but probably not. We need our space, need to be comfortable, need a king bed if possible, and DEFINITELY need our own bathroom. In fact, H and I are staying in a hotel for the first 2 nights of our visit to my family’s because there’s just not room anywhere else.
The fact that he can’t see that it’s not selfish for you to want to see your family at Christmas is . . . bad news. Anyone who’s that inflexible is not going to be a good lifelong partner. And sharing a bathroom with that many people? Ugh. Not to mention sleeping in the room with his nephew, which is just plain weird. I mean, I sleep in the room or the bed with my little nieces all the time, but I would NEVER expect that of my husband – he would be way too uncomfortable with that and I totally understand why.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Post # 16
Thanks ladies! You guys are all amazing 🙂
I usually only talk to my best friend about this kind of thing because I’m careful about who I complain/vent to about my boyfriend. And she just found out that her Grandma passed away today. So of course that upset me again because I hate seeing other people sad. I’m way too senstive sometimes!