(Closed) Crying at work, ugh- am I a "starter girlfriend"?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Wow do not go to that message board again! They sound very bitter and harsh.

You BF said he loves you and knows how he is going to propose to you, so I think you shouldn’t listen to others, his actions and words speak for themselves.

 

Post # 4
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

whoever said that is pretty damn rude! Does your SO mention a future with you and plan it with you? does he still say he wants to be married and that marriage (to you) is important to him? If so, I think you’re on the right track 

Post # 6
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Some people are bitter and unhappy and want everyone else to be bitter and unhappy, too. It doesn’t sound like your SO has given you any reason to think he’s stringing you along. You’re in your early 20s, and it makes perfect sense for you both to want to wait a little while before getting married. Back away from the Internet negativity, and enjoy your relationship with your SO. Don’t sabotage your own happiness by taking advice from unhappy people. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I agree, if he’s started making plans, or even paying bills together like car insurance, phone bills, or joint accounts that says he’s makin it to the point of marriage. Who is just going to make an account with someone just to to thru the trouble of removing the other person when the relationship is over?

Post # 9
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@oldlookingyoungster:  What reasons did u write on those other sites that would make people say he is stringing you along and you yourself think that? You didnt really give any detail as to WHY you feel this way.

Some people prefer to get married later in life and that has nothing to do with stringing you along. If you love him and he loves you, Id just flat out ask him what his plans are. If youve been together 5 years, im sure youre close enough to talk openly about the future of your relationship.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

why would you even care what complete strangers on the internet think about your relationship? I really dont think that warrants crying at your place of employment.

Post # 13
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@oldlookingyoungster:  my bf is the same way. He wants to marry me, we just need time and money. He just turned 27, and I’ll be 25, so we’re planinng for 2 years from now.

Post # 14
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@oldlookingyoungster:  I just read another one of your posts and you said you have talked ot hiim about it and youre on the same page. Thats all you need and all that counts! Dont llisten to those women!

Post # 15
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Er, maybe I should get moderated for this comment but…

Sounds like those ladies are a big bunch of bitches!

Don’t take any of their comments seriously. How do you know if he’s not stringing you along? Look at your relationship! You’re happy, right? You’ve talked marriage and proposals. He doesn’t seem scared of that? Then you’re all set! Those ladies are suuuper bitter.

I am in a position very similar to yours – dated in my late teens, were together for 5 years, engaged at 23 and will be married at 24, just as I’d always hoped! It took a long time for us to get engaged but through lots of conversations about marriage and our future it was apparent that I wasn’t getting strung along.

Post # 16
Member
9686 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@oldlookingyoungster:  I wouldn’t take the opinions of strangers too seriously. Having said that, here’s my opinion ๐Ÿ˜› Seriously though, they aren’t in your relationship, so how can they judge it? Just because they had a particular life experience doesn’t mean that you will. If your partner hasn’t given you any indication that he is just in it for the short haul, why would you believe total strangers that he is?

You can’t judge your own success and your own relationship with someone else’s yard stick. You are the only one in a position to judge your relationship and the claims that these posters made are completely off the wall. There is no way for anyone to know those things. Every relationship is a risk. Everthing we do in life is a risk. Nothing is a “sure thing.” But if you love him, it’s worth the risk isn’t it?

Also, please don’t get mad at your partner and start ranting that you are his starter girlfriend. He didn’t do anything wrong and he shouldn’t have to take the brunt of the punishment for something that you read online (from people who don’t know you, him, or the details of your relationship). Absolutely, I think you are overreacting to this and that everything will be just fine ๐Ÿ™‚

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