- 6 years ago
Okay, Bees, so you guys know I’m new here but already have my ring picked out. SO and I are waiting for when the time is right but we know we will be getting hitched in early 2014, right after he graduates.
We’ve been together for about 2.5 years so far and they’ve been wonderful. Absolutely, wonderfully, mind-dizzyingly wonderful and whatever happens, I’m so grateful to have such a grounded, lovely man by my side. It’s not a secret what our plans are and we openly discuss them all the time. Everyone knows we’re getting hitched sometime soon, so it’ll be a shock to no one. 🙂
My problem is very simple. I recently visited some very old and very sick grandparents of mine who I haven’t seen since the last family funeral. My grandmother, my whole life, has never treated me with any more respect than she would a bug on her windsheild. She’s never hesitated to tell me that I was a mistake, that I’m a waste of space and that I’m a fat, useless wh*re. I’ve lived my life about as straight and narrow as I can and there’s never been any basis for this, but she’s simply a very mean, hateful woman. Why visit her? Because she’s ill and I’d regret not seeing her at least one last time for the rest of my life. For the last two years, every time I mention my SO, she responds with “Oh, honey, he hasn’t left you yet? REALLY?”
So she’s mean, but she’s not stupid. She kind of figures that we’re headed towards the aisle at some point. All during my visit, she criticized him and his family (never having met them!) and I snapped. I told her that she could steamroll me all she wanted, but that SO and his family were off-limits, period. She proceeded to tell me that I’m too fat to get married and that I’m already an embarassment to her and my family. I’m super curvy, but not overweight or unhealthy. She had an awful relationship with my mom when my parents were together and it doesn’t help that I’m the very image of her as an adult!
I’m sorry for the vent, ladies. It just breaks my heart that my grandmother would go out of her way like that to hurt someone. I keep looking in the mirror and my heart just breaks. She’s never going to be happy for me for even having someone wonderful in my life. The only person she ever liked was an ex who treated me like crap. Go figure.
Anyone else have to go through something like this? I should probably just ignore it, but it just hurts so much.