(Closed) Crying…Exhausted…Just don't know what to do anymore!? :((….

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Is he an introvert? He he the kind of guy who needs to be alone to decompress? Maybe giving him some “alone time” will help him (though it wouldn’t help your lonliness problem)

Post # 4
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is all his hard work going to pay off in the form of fewer hours eventually?  If not, is there a way to start looking at other options for employment?  I know it’s not easy, but maybe there is a better job out there that would allow him more time to, as the previous poster said, decompress when he comes home.

Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We had that issue in the beginning when we were dating and I use to take it personally but girl after awhile I realized that his frustrations had nothing to do with me and boy how astounding that was to me! So when he does have  his days (I do have days like that too of course) I just let him be. I didn’t cause his problems nor can I control or cure his problems. It’s a different story if I made him mad but most cases when he does have those few bad days, I just let him have his moment because it’s not mines to take away from him if you get what I mean. Don’t take it personally and it will work wonders! : ) We’ve been together for 10.5 years and I can’t tell you how amazing our relationship is eventhough we’ve had some horrid days. My Higher Power always has a better plan for me, way better than the one I ever planned for! 

Hope this helps! 

Post # 6
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do you work at all?  So he is solely responsible for all the bills?  If so, that is a lot of weight on his shoulders plus having to work so many hours.  Does he have any alone time for himself?  I work 12 hour shifts myself and worked a ton of overtime before the wedding and I would have gone nuts if I didn’t have my alone time.  Exercise was a huge help to let off some steam and regroup as well.  Does he have any time to workout? 

 

As for the frequency of his outbursts, maybe he is feeling the stress since the wedding is so close.  I know I felt like I was walking a thin line the last couple months before the wedding because I was trying to work more to pay off rest of vendors, finish planning, dealing with other stuff that happened to pop up(car troubles, etc), etc, etc. 

 

Give him some alone time, he will appreciate it and you will notice a difference I promise.

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I can relate.  I was him.  I worked 12 hour overnight shifts sometimes 3-4 nights in a row.  I would be so drained in every sort of way.  Deep down I felt horrible for Darling Husband because I was just absolutely miserable – but not with him.  It was hard to get my mood positive when my body’s schedule could just not rejuvenate.  I, too, would make it up to him when I would have a nice stretch off, but would revert right back to being down right miserable.

It’s a tough thing to deal with.  DH and I talked about it several times.  We both knew it was going to happen on particular days, but I tried to become more aware and hold it back.  I hated myself for the longest time because how I was acting, felt, and changed.  I think that made things worse.  

I am going back to work in about 6 days and was just offered a day position (thank you, LORD!).  I’ve been off for about 2 weeks and it’s been glorious.  Our break aka wedding/honeymoon has allowed me to relax, rejuvenate, and become who I once was.  I wish the same for you two.

The only advice I can give is that he begins to look for a new job with less hours and stress.  I know it’s tough and may take awhile.  It’s something will be needed.  Also just support him and kind of leave him be at times when you see his mood changing.  Offer to rub his back or whatever he may like to help calm down and relax.  That usually worked for me.

Post # 9
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FutureMuniz:  Are you in Nevada??  That means it’s like…zero in the morning.  I would not expect my fiance to go be in a good mood at zero in the morning.  

What do you mean left the door open?  Like didn’t lock it?  I would be concerned about that.

 

What is your job?

Post # 11
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ughh I have these issues too…. not that he works super long shifts just he is really sensitive bc of work (his job kinda involved being yelled at/blamed often) and comes home in a terrible moon ready to pick a fight with me

 

I try to be understanding but I have a stressful job too (sales) and my clients treat me like crap too but I don’t let it get to me

 

I hate that when I finally get home from work where I have to kiss my clients butts I have to kiss up to him so he doesn’t have a melt down

Post # 14
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@FutureMuniz:  I’m sorry! It seems like you are doing everything that you can before you blow up on him! Try to talk to someone else and reason things out to help you with your misery and crying! It sucks to cry but I would rather cry than hold everything in. Good luck to you hon! 

Post # 15
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FutureMuniz:  Why are you awake so early??? lol.  I would just sleep in and let him leave on his own.  That is SO EARLY to be nice to someone, even the person you love.  

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