(Closed) Cultural differences causing me headaches!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@fresitachulita: I’m not yet engaged but I’m Japanese American and my SO is Mexican American and we are already getting flack from our parents about cultural issues related to the wedding. 

Bottom line… It’s your wedding. :). Sorry that’s not much help but I totally sympathize. Maybe your Future Mother-In-Law feels tat since you’re having your wedding in Mexico your at home reception should reflect more of your fiancé’s culture? Maybe your fiancé can discuss with her the financial limitations and the catering issue. Good luck!

Post # 5
9 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hello:) This is my first post! I finally registered only because I wanted to comment on your situation:) Hopefully I can help?


I’m half Samoan (from my mom) and she’s very culture oriented. My FH is Puerto Rican, so I guess we have some similarities?

We decided to go with an “American” wedding, however we are going to add in some of our culture. We’re going to wear our normal wedding outfits and have a few dances in them. We’re also going to dance a Salsa number, not sure yet if we’ll change or wear what we’re already wearing? Then we will change into our Samoan outfits and do a Samoan dance or two? This can be part of the entertainment for guests.


As for Samoan food, yes it can be very costly if you have to pay for it yourself. Normally if his family is big they will all chip in? I think it’s best for both of you to sit down with her and let her know that you dont have enough to pay for that on your own but you will gladly accept it if they will be providing that on their own. (Of course check with the venue first, however, from my experience, lots of venues understand that there will be some ethnic foods involved) Think of it this way, if his family provides a lot of it, and depending on the dishes, maybe you wont have to buy so much food:)

Maybe the venue will allow you to bring starches if nothing at all? Such as Taro, green banana, and/or breadfruit? That wont compete with the food that the venue is providing, and his family wont have to shell out too much money.

I have been to quite a few Samoan weddings where they bring in their own dishes, or cater the whole thing themselves, and they always take care of the food on their own, the bride NEVER has to get up and do anything but dance and look pretty. She always get’s to wear her dress and show it off, then later changes into the Samoan outfit, and possibly change back, depending on what the bride wants.


Bottom line, I would say…just pay for the venue, and ask about bringing in the Samoan food. Everything else, leave it up to his family…INCLUDING paying for  everything else, decorating, etc. Let his family know that you guys already have one wedding, which you will spend a fortune on, and you want to do this for his family but really cant afford anything else. 1) they should be appreciative that you paid for the venue and food 2) they’ll work hard to make it look good since they’re inviting their family and friends and dont want  to be embarassed by a stressed looking bride. 3) You get to get married all over again:) I’d say just go with it.



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