Post # 1
i have been a member of weddingbee for only a week now, but i have noticed many differences between traditions, i wanted to open a post asking ladies to tell each other a little about how their cultures and the country they live in effects their wedding. some posts i have read show obvious lack of undestanding to this difference from the ladies commenting. maybe we could all learn from one anothers cultures.
for example in the UK (and this is my personal opinon and may not be shared with other Britishbees) we have hen do’s, bridal showers are uncommon if not unheard off, we don’t do registry and asking for money as a gift although not traditonal is becoming more popular, i had never heard of cocktail hour before either. it is traditional for the brides parents to pay for the wedding but this is not the done thing anymore, couples usually live together sometime before getting married.
i would love to learn more about other culture and practices overseas…. 🙂
previously post in gift and registry by accident
Post # 3
I live in the US, engaged to an american, but my family is from Argentina. Though a lot of American influence has trickled down, I understand some things still survive. I know there are 2 ceremonies a legal one like at a courthouse, and a church one. Bridesmaids dont exist instead the parents stand up with you. Then everyone goes and eats for hours (my mother tells me stories about how she had to paint the whole house for her sister’s post wedding dinner). Couples also exchange bands at the engagement party and wear them on the right hand and then switch them to the left later. I have a traditional american engagement ring, but I anticipate wearing the band mostly. Gowns are made by a seamstress there really wasn’t the whole “dress shopping” thing like here. Other things culturally like pearls signifying tears so I wont be wearing any pearls and cala liles being the main funeral flower also play a role in my planning. Cala liles and pearls are very popular here.
I’m sure Im missing some things but my bedtime is nearing.
Cant wait to read about more cultures!!
Post # 4
I am Nigerian and marrying a white British. We also have two weddings ceremonies. The traditional one and the religious one. Some people have 3 and also do what we call a court one which in the UK would be a registry. Everybody has two though.
Ceremonies usually last between 24 hours to 3 days. In the North of Nigeria, weddings have been known to last 7 days! Streets get closed and there is drinking and dancing till dawn. Neighbours just join in and don’t mind!
Brides change at least 3 times for the traditional and the groom and his family have to ask for the bride’s hand in marriage from her father. We still pay bride price. Im my family, it’s a token and it’s the symbolism that is important so Fiance is paying about $4. However, families are known for calculating how much the daughter is worth based on how educated she is.
Guests is usually from 300 upwards. Invitations are only issued to people not close to the family ie parent’s colleagues etc. Family members will usually club together to finance the wedding.
I love my traditions. By having two weddings, one in Nigeria and another in the UK, we satisfy ourselves, both families and traditions.
Post # 5
My wife is Welsh, and I’m American. A few other differences I learned about during the wedding process:
- In American weddings, the bride is typically the last one to process, after all the attendants. Apparently, in British weddings, the bride is typically the first one to process.
- In American weddings, the cake is typically a sponge cake of some kind. In British ones, it is typically a fruit cake with marzipan and royal icing.
- In American weddings, the top layer of the cake is saved for the first anniversary. In British ones, it is typically saved for the christening of the first child.
- In American weddings, it is considered very rude to have tiered receptions, in which some guests are invited only to part of the reception(s). In British weddings, it is typical to have a “wedding breakfast” after the ceremony that is limited to close family and friends, and then a much bigger evening reception for all your guests.
Post # 6
@2dBride: That is so interesting that UK weddings usually save the top of the cake for their first child’s christening!
I love hearing about all of these unique wedding traditions and the stories behind them. What a wonderful thread!!
Post # 7
In Brazil it’s very similar or Russia. The number of couples living together ihas been increasing, but for most of the time, the singles live with their parents and when they get married is the first attempt they do living together. I also feel like the marriages last more than they do here in the US, but that’s also a number that has been changing.
The couple usually wear yellow gold wedding bands and sometimes the ladies’ have little diamonds around but I think the biggest I’ve seen there was smaller than a half of a carat- when they’re very wealthy.
There is no one knee proposal, most couples decide together to get married, most of them, after they have been dating and living in separate houses for over a year. engaged make and female wear their wedding band on the right finger until they change hands on the day they get married..
Post # 9
Well… I don’t know if Canadian standards can be applied here as some of the them are similar to American standards, but sometimes I feel they are wildly different.
Such as, ‘cocktail hours’ with lots of food don’t seem to occur here. Nevermind the lots of food, if they occur at all it’s one or two canapes for each person.
Biggest weird thing to me: Open bar! I have been to almost no weddings that provide an open bar… it’s virtually unheard of unless the couple had money to throw! Due to liquor laws, there is no ‘food+open bar price’ per person… every drink consumed usually has to be paid for. And this can end up costing more than the food itself. It blows my mind that people are able to get $80+ per head deals including food and open bar without having to pay each individual drink… HELLO! What a banging deal. That would be great. It makes me jealous that open bar is a real option in some places.
Post # 10
@bananejaune: we don’t really do open bar here either, sometimes money is put behind the bar to cover guests first drink but that in itself could be very pricey.
2dBride i went to a friends wedding last month where the vicar (pastor) had the bride enter before her bridesmaids. when i was younger and attended weddings as a flower girl i can remeber entering before the bride, as an teenager i was a bm and i entered after the bride, but all these wedding took place in churches of different religions. i will be the last to enter the church on my big day…..
i think a lot of traditions are lost nowdays, i’m not sure if this has more to do with the generation not being as committed to the religious upbringing ( i do not know anyone who regularily attends church) or if it be because of the spiraling cost of getting married, mention the word wedding and the cost triples.
i suppose with so many options out there and the exposure to other cultures and countries traditions bee’s are being more adventourus and breaking from the norm.
i’m marrying a catholic man so i am very aware of certain things i need to follow in order to respect his family and their beliefs amd his church. so i feel that we must keep our ceremony as tradtional as we can. the priest is easy going however and is open to different ideas. but after the ceremony is our time to show of our personalities, be a little different and well have fun.
Post # 11
What an interesting thread! I really enjoyed reading about different customs and cultures.
Post # 12
I’m an American marrying a Haitian. We are both Christians and the basics of a church wedding are pretty similar. Some differences are in logistics. Such as the bridal party sits in Haitian ceremonies. The bride and groom sit in chairs in front of the pastor and the bridal party sits at the ends of the rows. For example we each have three attendants. My girls will sit at the ends of the first three pews and his guys will sit across the aisle from them at the end of the rows on that side. Another difference is that the dad only walks the bride halfway down the aisle where the groom meets them. The dad hands her off and the couple walks the rest of the way down the aisle together while the attendants hold up flowers for them to walk under. (I have never seen this, but in my head it’s kind of like the game “London Bride Is Falling Down.”)Those are a few of the differences I can remember right now.
A major difference is that in Haiti it’s traditional for the bride and groom to have a godmother and godfather who dress exactly like them and sit behind them in the ceremony. It’s often assumed that the godparents will support the couple financially if they run into trouble. My Fiance couldn’t give me a compelling reason for us to do this, so we aren’t.
Post # 13
I love learning about all the different traditions!
@blayne7: I really like the idea of the bride and groom walking half ay down the aisle together, and the flowers! In my head it’s so pretty 🙂
I’m half Filipino and half German, my FH is half Spanish and half American 😀 We have a LOT of cultures to incorporate, haha. We’re currently living in Spain, and getting married here next year, but I’d like to have a ceremony in the Philippines aswell, since my family can’t come here and I’d like to have a typical Filipino wedding.. I’m not sure what that means, entirely 😀 What I remember from the last wedding I attended years ago, is the traditional suits of the men consist of black pants and a white embroidered shirt, since it’s too hot for tuxes 😀 Also, there’s part of the ceremony where Bride & Groom are pinned under a veil (not sure if it’s the brides veil, or just a piece of fabric) and then a rope is tied around them.
In Spain, until years ago, it as common to wear black to a wedding.. I recently saw the wedding album of my future parents in law, and FHs grandma is dressed in a beautiful black dress and veil. I don’t really know any other spanish traditions since FHs parents got married in the US.
In Germany, instead of a rehearsal dinner, the family, friends and neighbours come together the evening before the wedding and bring lots of ceramics. They break everything they brought and the bride & groom have to sweep it up together.. I think to signify they’re a team and that nothing in their house should be broken again. Also, a pair of the brides shoes are nailed to a tree, but I have no idea what that is about 😀
Post # 14
My Fiance is from Norway and I am half Brittish/Pilipina raised in Sweden but getting married both in Ireland and Norway. OMG
He asked for my hand in marriage from my mother and father, like my mom requested. My dad passed away the same evening he did this. But my Fiance himself felt it was very important to do this before proposing to me too so I was happy this was ok on both ends.
My Fiance is giving me the bouquet he picked out himself, this is an old Norse tradition
Fiance is also giving a speech to my mom thanking her for letting him marry me (it should have been both of my parents but dad is now resting) – Old tradition from Norway as well.
I will be wearing three bands, instead of two. One engagement ring, one wedding ring and one eternity ring. It’s old old Swedish, Norwegian tradition.I know in Ireland they do this aswell, don’t know how common these traditions are anymore.
One old tradition that Fiance is very freaked our about is the dress. He is so far away from the dressplanning he can ever be, even though I wouldn’t mind getting him more involved in that department.
Oh – I might add: Me and my Fiance has lived together for 1,5 years before our engagement happened. I already have a kid from a previous relationship, so it’s not like I am a virgin anymore. We are paying for most things in regards of the wedding, and would not want it anyother way either.