(Closed) Curious about family gift scenario…thoughts wanted

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We haven’t received many gifts yet but we did get a nice present from my bridesmaid’s parents. The card was signed from her parents…and from my friend and her fiancé. I was a little confused by that. I mean, they don’t even live in the same state at each other, not to mention we are in our late 20s. 

I suspect we will have the same situation as you with some family members. I don’t really have any expectations as far as gifts go.

Starting with our engagement, we are doing all gifts from the two of us (before he would give a gift to a family member and I would give a separate gift) and no more piggybacking on our parents’ presents. Everyone has their own situation and reasons for doing what they are doing, though.

Post # 4
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

We had a few do that (including one cousin who’s close to fifty and has a fifteen-year-old son, and she and her husband piggybacked on her eighty-year-old parents’ gift!), and I was a bit confused, but whatever.  It doesn’t change the fact that DH and I continue to give our own, separate gift.

Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it really depends on how close you are to the individual cousins. If you’re close, then yea, I’d expect them to give their own gift. If they’re not close, they may have the mentality that their parents handle all the family obligations.


Post # 6
47429 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Chances are the younger people didn’t buy or bring a gift and the embarassed parents added their names ot the card or told them to also sign their card.

Post # 7
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m in agreement with VAWife here — I think it depends on how close you are with your cousins. Fiance and I had two weddings on my side this year, and my family is huge, and we are not at all close to them. We went off and started our own life and are really only coming back for these weddings because my mom asked us to, not because we feel like said cousins would’ve even noticed if we’d went. That said, we did “piggyback”, in a way — my parents contributed for half of the gift and we contributed half, then all four of our names went on the card. I realize that my cousins might think that my mom just threw our names on the card, but we really did pay for half — we just didn’t buy our own because a) we have no idea what these cousins need, being that we are not at all close to them, and b) just the fact that we aren’t close to them. We don’t expect each of our cousins that come to our wedding to give us a gift separately.


Having said that, once we’re married we’ll probably do our own thing, and if we have kids we definitely will give our own gift. But just as a different perspective – it mgiht not have been the parents “covering”, it might’ve been split like we do?

Post # 9
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hmm, odd.

There were several family all together gifts, but those were cases where the cousin’s kids are young and not truly self-sufficient yet.  Definitely no cases of married cousin’s/etc tagging into parents.  All of the “together” gifts made sense (students, 19 year olds, etc).

I’d continue to give gifts from you and your hubs 🙂

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