(Closed) Curious about the bee's opinions on this!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Was her family rude, or are they justified?
    Yes, they are justified.. if Christmas is for close family only, then so be it. : (7 votes)
    3 %
    Well, its ok if Christmas is for just family only, but once the invite was extended it should stay. : (52 votes)
    19 %
    No, its' kind of odd that they are so against the gf joining... kind of rude how they acted! : (63 votes)
    23 %
    I would be thinking about leaving the bf, I don't know that I could deal with a family like that. : (49 votes)
    18 %
    I would still stay with the bf and see if it gets better later : (20 votes)
    7 %
    The bf should stand by his families' decision : (3 votes)
    1 %
    The bf should stand up for his gf if she's important to him : (84 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I definitely think that the bf should have spoken to the family before inviting her. I agree that 4 months is quite quick but if she had no other family around, then extending an invite would be nice. However, I don’t think meeting the family should be done at an important family event – Christmas, birthdays, christenings or weddings and it should be done prior to Christmas. 

     

    I don’t think they should break up over it, but hopefully this will be a useful reminder to them in the future. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    9216 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    our family says the more the merrier.

     

    Post # 49
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    If this is such a tradition, why didn’t the Boyfriend or Best Friend know about it? 

    I will say that my family is fairly small and we don’t all get to see each other all that often. We get pretty boisterous at holidays and I know that we are overwhelming to anybody that doesn’t know us. Sometimes we wouldn’t bring boyfriends to these events because we know how we are. That being said, there was no rule about not bringing them. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    9681 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Sunnyday278:  I’ve got 3 brothers. The one who is not a twin made his rounds with the ladies. Until he made a commitment, my mom and I refused to entertain any of his lady friends at important holidays. Dinner with just us, fine, but the entire family (including overseas older relatives) only get together a few times a year. It is not a time for randoms. He should not have invited her without his family’s okay, obviously, but I wouldn’t have included her either. 

    I did get engaged after 3 months so I get that things can be serious fast. However, I had a “ring on it” so to speak and everyone just adored my husband from day one – he’s best friends with my brothers. For us, it is a “family only” time and a girlfriend doesn’t fit the bill. My brothers know to ask permission first though 😛 

    Post # 51
    Member
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    Wow. My family is huge on making sure no one spends Christmas alone. They actually invited SO’s stepmother, whom they’ve never met, because they couldn’t bear the thought of anyone being alone for Christmas! So I find a family like the one in question so hard to fathom. That poor girl. I would certainly be reassessing the situation with the boyfriend. If it’s important to him that she comes, then she should be allowed to come. I just can’t believe the family would kick up such a stink and rather have her alone. And that the Boyfriend or Best Friend would stand for that!

    She’d be welcome at my house!

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