(Closed) Curious about waiting

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think if you just had a conversation about it and you both agreed on a timeline, especially if you say he likes to instigate things, you should just sit back and wait for his proposal. He’s clearly thinking about it and wants to do it if he mentions marriage even during a fight. His behavior toward you might have cooled since the fight, but that happens and doesn’t necessarily have any bearing on whether or not he’s going to propose.

At this point you need to not think about it. It sounds like it is going to happen, but it will happen on his terms in his time. Don’t expect it to happen for Christmas or birthday or any fancy event. He’ll do it when he’s ready. At this point all you need to do is just sit back and enjoy life with him and your time together. Tell him what you want for Christmas, but let it just be Christmas. Don’t worry about rings or engagements. I know plenty of men don’t want to propose on Christmas, and he’s probably the same.

So just relax, enjoy things, put engagement out of your mind and know that it’s coming when he’s ready. The less you think about it, the more surprised you’ll be when it happens and the better you’ll both feel.

Post # 4
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

He’s most likely just simply trying to buy you a Christmas gift – no ulterior motive. People go through emotional ups and downs for a variety of reasons and the only way you’d know for sure what’s going on with him is if you asked. But I wouldn’t worry too much. People can’t hold on to that level of lovey-dovey for long periods of time, eventually he would have cooled off, argument or not. I agree with scottsouth that it does sound like you guys are on the same page and a proposal is coming, that’s for sure. Try not to think about it. Given Christmas is around the corner and your guy already asked you could probably distract yourself with some Christmas shopping. Find things that you think you’d like, that aren’t engagement rings. 🙂

It’s only been a couple months. Research and saving take time. And if he was doing it he wouldn’t necessarily let the cat out of the bag. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think he might be researching and saving some money before getting the ring. //  I’d also talk to him about the finance piece once again.  I know it’s a touchy subject (it is with me also!) but he hinted at how he is serious about you when he said he didn’t want to manage finances that way.  This way, you can reassure him that when finances are combined, he has nothing to worry about. 

Post # 7
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You guys should talk openly about the finances thing, but I wouldn’t worry about the ring for now. It’s clearly on his mind. Besides maybe he’s just talking less becuase he wants to kind of surprise you. I know a few girls whose bfs, when they were proposing, flat-out lied to them and said marriage was totally not on their mind, etc. Or they would stop talking about it in hopes of making the surprise a little more likely to happen.

Post # 8
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ick, the flu!  I hope you feel better! //  My bf is great with money, too.  And, I’ve had student loans that haunted me for the longest time.  (Took care of that last year! Yay!)  We ended up arguing early in the relationship about how my finances are my business and that he should let me handle it.  But he saw that I’m the one he wanted to marry and he wanted us to start off married and with a house… Plus, couples argue the most about finances and we don’t want to start off on a wrong foot! //  Good luck!  Keep us (or mostly me) posted!

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