(Closed) Curious to hear about how height affects feelings of safety/sexual aggression

posted 12 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
10607 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Height has nothing to do with it imo. A vagina and marginal attractiveness do. I’m on guard and ready to fight but that’s because I watch a lot of horror and read a lot of shit that makes me paranoid.

Post # 3
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’m 5’11” and still feel like I am on guard around men most of the time. Maybe it’s due to the fact that men have been aggressive toward me from a young age — I always looked older than I was, and had some disgusting things said/done to me by men as an adolescent because of it. I also have a history of domestic violence. I have a general distrust of men I don’t know and their intentions.

Post # 4
3554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
beesinging :  I’m 6ft and I totally get what you mean. I don’t often feel threatened or intimidated. At work I wear 4 inch heels so I’m often the tallest in the room. 

I don’t get hit on nearly as much as my short friends. I do get me try it on to get some kind of novelty value. 

Post # 5
798 posts
Busy bee

I’m 5’5, don’t consider myself tall and am pretty low on the paranoid/ready to fight someone scale. However, there is always “software running in the background” that reminds me that most men could probably overpower me if they wanted to and I don’t associate that with their height. Take that for what it’s worth. 

Post # 6
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2020

View original reply
beesinging :  I am 5 foot and 100 pounds and I am more “on guard” than my taller/bigger friends from what I have observed. I have thought about what you just mentioned and I agree that my size does heighten my paranoid side when in potentially dangerous situations 

Post # 7
2881 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Interesting topic.

I am on the taller side, 5’8″ without shoes, with closer to 5’10” or so (I like chunky heeled shoes and boots).  When I was in high school, I felt like guys avoided me because I was on the taller side, and I actually was taller than a lot of guys that hadn’t yet reach their peak height.  I also played competitive softball so I always had an athletic build and was strong.  I felt like my more petite friends always had guys flocking to them.  I asked one of my guy friends once what I was doing wrong and he said nothing, that guys are just intimidated of me.

Once I got to college I noticed when I’d go out with my friends that again, the more petite ones got the attention, but at that age I realized it wasn’t always in a good way.  I felt like guys (not all of course) felt like because they were more petite, that they’d be “easier”.  I was kind of the mom of my friend group and felt like I had to watch out for them.

However I don’t always think height has everything to do with it.  My mom and sister are both only around 5’3″ and they both put on an air of don’t mess with me.  They’re very confident and it shows.

Post # 8
8268 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am 5’8″ and always the tallest of my friends (bar one that I met in my 20s!), and I definitely get what you’re saying. I think generally people pick targets smaller/weaker than them, and a more petite person is definitely going to look like an easier target (even though I am the weakest clumsiest person lol). Not to say that larger/taller people never get attacked, of course that’s false. 

Post # 9
10543 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t think it’s about height at all. I’m very short (5’0) and I’ve experienced very little sexual aggression/harassment. And I’ve never once been picked up by anyone in my life (I mean I guess apart from when I was under 5 years old). 

Im on guard a lot but that’s probably because I listen to true crime podcasts all day. 

Post # 10
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Hmm I’m 5″1 but I wouldn’t say I was constantly on guard, nor do I think being small makes me more of a target. 

Post # 11
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I am tall and I haven’t experienced the “insulated” feeling you mentioned at all. I’m on guard most of the time, especially with previously having lived alone in some high-crime areas. I’ve had men (many of whom were shorter than me) try to follow me into my building, grab my arm, and otherwise behave aggressively toward me. I don’t think height has much to do with it.

Post # 12
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m 5’2″ and I am absolutely on guard for physical violence, having been assaulted in the past. 

Post # 13
2235 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

How on guard I am depends more on the situation for me. I wouldn’t necessarily say I was on guard all the time. I work with men frequently and usually I am on my own in a one on one meeting with men and I’m not on guard at all in that situation. But at certain times there’s points that put me on guard.

By the way I’m 5’ 4”. 

Post # 14
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
beesinging :  I’m 5’3”, and this never occurred to me, but I think you’re right. I have been picked up against my will, and I am on high alert and recognize that it would be harder for me to fight back. I do feel like I’m a target sometimes , and it makes sense that height might play a role. 

Post # 15
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m 5’5 and I think I’m incredibly on guard but it’s because I grew up with domestic abuse and was assaulted and men were violent towards me a lot. I definitely had more sexual aggression towards me when I was slimmer and I hated it and my body. 

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