Post # 1
Ok, so it’s not the end of the world but I am super annoyed right now and I need the perspective of the hive. Of course, I think my Mother-In-Law is being a super snarky, annoying, passive aggressive you-know-what but there is a chance I am making a big deal out of nothing and poor Hubs is caught in the middle. Please help!
So the Mother-In-Law is currently on a road trip driving out here to visit us and some other family members. She is in the car with her cell phone (obviously) and she asked my husband to ask me if I would reserve her a hotel room in the area. This is where the problems began…
I tried to call her to see what types of hotel she wanted (1 star or 5 star, with a gym or not…details please!) and she didn’t pick up. I asked the hubs to call her and she picked up right away. Ok, whatever…
I then did a whole bunch of research to find the best hotel at the best price (yadda, yadda, yadda) and came up with a few options. Well, I went to call her about which hotel she wanted me to book…again, no answer. I called again like an hour later. No answer. The hubs calls, immediate answer. WTH?!?
Basically, this pattern happened twice more when I had questions about her plan and details I needed for her reservations for hotel or rental car or whatever. My husband thinks I am overreacting because she could be in a bad cell area or busy or whatever…but when I ask my hubs to call from his cell to see if he can get her, she picks up for my husband right after I call!
I am confused because I thought we had a good relationship. I am also super annoyed because I am doing her a favor and she is (seemingly) ignoring me!! Am I blowing things out of proportion? Is there another angle I am missing here? Help me out hive…I am going a little nuts-o.
She is going to be here in a couple of hours and all I feel like saying to her is, “Why are you ignoring my calls, %$#&#?” What should I do? I know it sounds small, lame and petty but I am actually pissed about this. And then I am pissed for being pissed. Lame…
Help, hive! Help!
Post # 3
Be thankful she wants to stay in a HOTEL!
I don’t think there is anything you can do, besides explain how that bothers you to your Fiance, and let him deal with it.
Post # 4
I would be upset too. Next time you need to ask her something I would leave her a voicemail. If she can’t call you back and speak to you, then she should ask someone else to do this favor for her.
Post # 5
Has she gotten a new phone recently? Is it possible she doesn’t have your number saved? I know I generally don’t answer my phone if it comes up as an unknown number or with no name. Hopefully that’s just the case…. but I do agree with you it seems a little suspicious…..
Post # 6
If she didn’t pick up the second time for your hubby I would think nothing of it but 2 times right after you call…kinda odd I think.
Maybe see how she acts when she shows up (i.e. does she thank you for booking hotel, is she talking to you etc) if she is acting weird I would ask your husband to say something to her about her behavior. I would never come out and ask my Future Mother-In-Law if something is wrong because I’m very emotional and wouldn’t want to get into a crying or screaming match with her about her attitude. If she acts fine chalk it up to bad cell service?
Post # 7
I think I might bring it up as kind of a joke. If it is something that is going to bother you, I’d just put it out there.
Why would she ask you to reserve the hotel room and not your husband?
Post # 8
I’d call her from his phone.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Marie Gabrielle
I think you waited too long to say something and so now you are really angry! Your husband could have told her that you’ve been trying to call her but she isn’t picking up. Sometimes, being direct prevents a lot of problems. I don’t think you need to yell at her, but just tell her you had been trying to call her to iron out her plans, but she didn’t pick up – was something up? You never know – something might have been going on that you don’t know about.
Post # 10
Yeah, that’s annoying but I could totally see Future Mother-In-Law doing this. We get along just fine and she likes me, but she just prefers to talk to Fiance. Eh, I’d let it slide and like MelissaBegins said, at least they’re staying in a hotel and not with you!
Edited to add: I agree with others that this is just weird passive-aggressive behavior and probably nothing against you. Like I said, Future Mother-In-Law and I have no issues but I would not be surprised if she did something similar to this, because she is very PA.
Post # 11
OMG! I can totally relate…my Future Mother-In-Law is the exact same way! She always seems to talk to me THROUGH my Boyfriend or Best Friend (almost Fiance *fingers crossed). For example, I was at his house one night and instead of asking me what I would like to eat/drink she goes to him “What does she want, I have cookies, pie, chocolate…etc.” He then asks me “What do you want?” What in the world …ALL 3 of us are standing right there! I can hear u asking him!!!!!! This just boggles my mind! First thing that came to mind was why don’t you just ask me directly. I am a grown woman and KNOW I would be able to make my own snack choice lol
Anyways, this was a while ago so the more and more I thought about this the more I realized just how rude this was of her! But then the psychological side of me stepped in and I began to analyze her and thereby the situation…I realized she does this A LOT! I came to the conclusion, that this is her passive-aggresive way of communicating with me. Like I have said in prior posts she is seemingly a sweet lady (although I do think there is a B%#&* side to her, which I’m sure will unveil itself once I’m actually a member of the family.
Since this type of weird communication hasn’t happened in a while I decided to just let it go, she doesn’t do it much anymore but there are still things that drive me nuts!!!
Post # 12
I would have left a message the first time and I she didn’t call ME back, not the Hubs on his line, but ME, I would not have continued to help.
Post # 13
Does she recognize the number you are calling from?
Post # 14
Just my 2 cents…
I’d keep this stored in the back of my mind. It shows how much she does (or doesn’t) value your relationship. This should relieve you of any obligation that you may have felt to include her in your future decisions and wedding plans. Obviously she’s not letting you into her ‘bubble’, so I’d just keep this in mind…
But maybe that’s my evil side talking…LOL!
Post # 15
My question is, why is she asking your husband to have you make the reservation? Why not have him make the reservation or ask you directly?
Post # 16
I agree that it’s frustrating, but perhaps it’s not because she dislikes you? Do the two of you speak often? I’m mind-bendingly shy, and have trouble speaking with new people on the phone. I know it’s irrational, but sometimes the awkwardness of small talk combined with an inability to see the person to whom I’m speaking leads me to ignore calls that I shouldn’t.