(Closed) Curveball in our future!

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
9556 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow. I work in a hospital and I see how hard it is on the residents. And med school is crazy expensive. This is a major decision and I think it needs to be made as a couple. Because this really affects both your lives very significantly. In the end, it’s his decision, but he should definitely discuss it with you and take your oppinion into account. Have you guys talked about how this will affect your timeline for marriage/house/children? I think these are important discussions that should be addressed now, before he gets too deep into things. My husband and I are currently living apart for his work and we’r waiting to see if he will get one of the pharmacy residencies that he’s applied to. And it sucks. Royally. I really want to be able to figure out what we’re going to be doing for the next few years and right now everything is just up in the air. And that’s what med school and residencies mean. If this is what is best from you as a family, then I would absolutely be as supportive as possible. But I’d definitely weight pros and cons. From your post it sounds like he’s doing this mostly for the money and I don’t know that it’s worth that. But if it’s something he’s truly passionate about, then that’s a different issue. Regarless, this deserves a sit down discussion (or several!).

Post # 5
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

@juliana192:  Hey, first off, *big hug* to you! I was kind of in the same boat as you before. I must say Kudos to your SO for thinking about you and your future together and wanting that long-term stability. That is really sweet of him to think with that kind of mentality. But Med school is a big step. No. A HUGE step. It can be nerve-racking for sure. It can also be expensive as heck. Whatever your SO decides, ultimately just let him know about how you feel, but of course support him in every way that you can. I know when my SO was in pharmacy school, it was really hard for me to adjust, cause there would be days that I wouldn’t see him cause he was just so busy with studying and rotation and exams every other week literally. Then again, I was in nursing school too at the time. I will tell you though that it was a learning experience for the both of us, for the better. It only made our love for each other stronger.

I know 2 other couples. The one couple, one of them (the bf) went to med school in the west coast and the gf is living in NY and they are so in love with each other that she told me would wait for him…they want to get engaged and be married too. The other couple, the gf is a PA student, but she lives and attends school in the same state as her bf. Different situations, but they make it work.  

It’s ok to freak out, it’s normal. Just try to breathe, relax, and when SO comes back have a heart to heart sit down talk with him. Like you said, he supports your dreams and he wants to do this not for himself, but for you as well and for your future babies. I hope everything works out and I’m sorry if my advice doesn’t help :/ wow that was long.

ETA: had to fix the spacing!



Post # 7
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@juliana192: Medical school is a huge commitment. If he is not passionate about it, it will be very difficult. Has he considered other options in the medical field? Physician’s assistant studies is a master’s program. There are many other ancillary positions that go into making healthcare work. There is also a Master’s program in healthcare management, especially if he likes the business aspect of things. 

But if his heart is set on medical school, you guys can make it work. It will be tough, but doable. Yes, many students get engaged and married while in school. A lot will even have children during residency. 

I wish you guys the best of luck!

Post # 8
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

oh other positions working with children are Speech Language pathologist or Respiratory Therapist. 

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