Post # 1
I guess you can call this a vent. I had my wedding band custom designed and after two months of going back and forth with the jeweler’s and three weeks without my e-ring we finally got a design (which I love) and an estimate. Basically it’s a custom designed wrap for a three stone engagement ring (pic below) and the estimate comes in at $1550. Mind you, I asked my Fiance several times for a budget so I could give the jeweler an idea of what we wanted to spend and he told me “It’s whatever you want.” So, tonight, after I got the call I told him the estimate and he choked. Not quite what he was looking for apparently and then accused me of aksing for 15 thousand more diamonds. Now I feel guilty and but he still tells me it’s okay and if it’s what I want I’ll get it, of course with that tone in his voice.
Similar to this but not quite.
So here I am, what do I do? Do I go in and look at my in-house options again and settle for something within his budget (which I still don’t know) or tell them to go ahead with the ring and feel guilty? I’m leaning towards settling but how do I tell the jeweler “No thanks” on the custom design?
Post # 3
Have you committed to the jeweler already? I think you need to get a budget from your Fiance, or maybe even tell the jeweler you need to wait a bit to save up some money yourself. Could you get married with another band, and then add this one later on?
p.s. I can’t see the pic and I really want to!
ETA: I see the pic! Beautiful!
Post # 4
No we haven’t committed. It’s actually going to be two separate rings to make up the wrap and the jeweler offered to let us buy one at a time. I tried to explain this to my fiance he didn’t understand why we would want to do that. So I could have the bottom one for the wedding and add the top one later. IDK. Feeling kinda bummed right now.
Post # 5
That sounds like a really good solution, to buy one now and another one later, maybe for an anniversary or something.
I can see how it would bum you out though, since he told you to go ahead, and you didn’t know you weren’t on the same page budget-wise.
Post # 6
I’d say go with it, if your financial situation will be ok that is, especially if your Fiance won’t give you a budget (he really needs to). $1500 is super reasonable in the world of engagement rings…. and you’re gonna have it the rest of your life, might as well like it! 🙂
Post # 7
It’s hard going in without a budget, a girl can certainly get carried away. However, $1500 is a steal for a custom ring that you love (my man probably wishes he got off that lucky!).
I think you should have a very open conversation of how much he wants to spend now and decide if you can wait a bit to save up. It is going to be on your finger forever so loving it is certainly helpful.
I wasn’t willing to settle and it took a long time but eventually I ended up with a custom design set of my dreams. It wasn’t cheap and well worth the wait.
Post # 8
You should definitely talk this out with your Fiance. Make it plain that if he won’t give you a budget to work within, then he should not make you feel bad about the price. It seems like he’s putting you in a difficult position. Plus, that’s a steal for an engagement ring! Maybe he just needs to be educated a little on how much engagement rings tend to cost. Mine cost a little bit more than that, and it’s not nearly as bling-y!
Post # 9
& @lawschool bride:
This is my wedding band is that still super reasonable?
The consensus from all you bees seems to be that this is a rather reasonable price. He’s still telling me this morning to go with it but I’m going to the jeweler today to see what all is included on the ring.
P.S. I’ve also custom ordered his ring because he requested black tungsten, something our jeweler doesn’t carry so it’s going to cost me there too. I could by the same ring from eBay or etsy for next to nothing but he’s told me we have to stay with the jeweler.
Post # 10
Well it’s off to work and off to the jeweler. Wish me luck!
Wedding planning was so smooth til now. Dang!
Post # 11
Has he said what his ideal budget is?
Post # 12
Are there diamonds all around the ring? You can always get 1/2 or 3/4 eternity bands which will save a tonne. Plus, no one will see that side anyway. I’ve also heard from friends that their full eternity bands get caught on things and rub -so they’re kinda annoying anyway.
Post # 13
No. Still don’t have any idea what his budget is but I’m going to try to bring the price down or pick out something similar. We’ll see what happens.
Post # 14
To some $1500 would be reasonable but every couple’s budget is different. I can see where you would be bummed out because you didn’t get a specific budget and now your Fiance feels it’s too expensive. Is the $1500 for BOTH wraps or just one? I’m assuming the $1500 doesn’t include the engagement ring. $1500 was right around what my wedding band cost (4 diamonds that were .09 each and pave diamonds 3/4 of the way around the band…to give you a comparative). I agree with the other Bee who brought up that you don’t need pave all the way around your band. 3/4 will be plenty (I still knock some of the side ones sometimes) and you could even do 1/2 around the band to save $$. Maybe get the one band for the wedding and the other band for your one year anniversary?
Post # 15
Beautiful ring(s)! I don’t know how you two work your finances but can’t you just pay for the wrap yourself? I paid for our wedding bands because I felt it was only fair. Maybe you pool all of your money together already, I don’t know, but that’s what I would do. GL!
Post # 16
a 3rd option might be to offer to pay towards it. if your partner says no….then he cannot grumble any more