Post # 1
Hi Bees! Sorry in advance if I become long winded, just hoping to get my story across
I’m looking for an opinion on my *possible* wedding dress. This is the first one I’ve seen that I’ve really loved, because of it’s simplicity and style, plus the fact that it has a nice handmade feel (because it IS handmade), made in my country (not overly important, but it feels nice to support “local” designers) and completely in my budget. I guess I should start by saying that I’m getting married next July on a boat (think small cruise ship) and it’s going to be an extremely informal ceremony, followed by an on-board BBQ. The colours are white/cream, and butter yellow. The dress is an empire waist, with sweetheart neck and flowers over one side of the “heart.” It’s also two-toned, with white on the chest, and off-white on the bottom and flower details. Since it is custom I can decide if it has straps, or not, what kind, and any extras that I may want. If it were totally my choice, I would order this dress, but I sent a picture to my mother who basically said “It’s not what I see you in, it’s nice but not a wedding dress, too plain. Pass.” She said she didn’t like the two-tones, (which I personally love, but can be changed to all white if necessary), and also thought it might make me look pregnant (haha). She was completely good natured and let me down gently. She was just very honest, which I had requested she be anyways. I told her why I love it, and even mentioned the low price, and she told me that she is willing to put money in to get me something more fancy.
I love my mother to death, and know she only wants the best for me, and she’s being extremely generous for wanting the best for me, so am I crazy to not stop thinking about this dress? I basically have permission to go bigger and “better,” but I don’t know if I want that. She’s already helping to pay for the wedding, and I’d prefer to keeps costs low with a dress I know I’d be happy with. We haven’t gone drss shopping yet so I was thinking of maybe taking her out for the experience, try on a similar dress, and maybe try to convince her that way? The dress is coming from another province, so I wouldn’t be able to try it until it gets here, paid for. I think this also might be putting her off. Just keep in mind it’s not an online rip-off site, it’s a small company in Quebec.
I showed the fiancee and he really had no opinion, he just wants me to be happy. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
This sounds like my dress shopping experience – I’m having a destination wedding, so I was willing to go for something simple and light. My mother wanted something bigger with more bling. She had an idea of what a “BRIDE” looks like, and simple or short was not it. As for my fiance, he didn’t have strong opinions on any of the dress trials I showed him, and he would’ve been happy with whatever I chose.
In the end, I kept looking until I found something my mom and I were both happy with. I could’ve picked something that I liked and she didn’t, but it just wouldn’t have felt right if my mother didn’t like it. I say keep looking for now, if your mother’s opinion is important. You can always go back to this dress later, you have so much time still.
Post # 4
I showed my Mom 2 options and she liked the 1st option better but it didn’t fit.(Dresses purchased from yourdreamdress.com) Once I got my 2nd choice, I showed my Mom and she knew this was the dress for me. And when I got it and tried it on, my gf cried so I knew.
My Mom and I have similar taste but she knows that I will wear what I love. She’s just happy that her first child is finally getting married.
My advice: If you love it, go for it. You want to remember your dress as being the dress that you love.
By The Way…. I was going to wear a ready to wear wedding dress. My gf threatened me since I have shoes that would cost more than the dress. By combing preownedweddingdresses.com I was able to find my Badgley Mischka. I had secretly dreamed of wearing Badgley and its gonna happen. I didn’t get my destination wedding but we’re getting married overlooking the ocean. Can’t wait.
Post # 5
I would definitely make a trip with her to try on a dress that is similar in style and fabric to the one you like. My mom was surprised that the actually liked a dress on me, even though she hated it on the mannequin and hanger.
Also, its a good thing to check to see if this style really makes you feel like a bride. I tried a couple on that sound very similar to the ones you were describing, and although I really liked them, I didn’t like them for my wedding dress. Since you won’t be able to return this dress, I would try to be as sure as possible about it before you order it!
Post # 6
If your mom really doesn’t like the dress, that’s OK. She doesn’t have to wear it.
I LOVE that you have a cool, custom-made dress. No one else will look like you on your wedding day, and that’s awesome. If your mom’s opinion is important to you, and you trust her judgment on what would make you look best, then maybe find out what small changes would make it look more like a proper wedding dress. If she’s really pushing you to change your whole look, and you don’t feel like you need her approval, then you’ll have to firmly (but lovingly) tell her how great this dress makes you feel and hope she’ll drop it.
Post # 7
@squeak35: I got my Anne Barge from there too. Love that website!
@Ambellina13: I think this is good advice.
Post # 8
Thank you so much everyone!
After reading through, I realized my mothers opinion really is important to me, so I’ll probably try some similar styles in a shop first with her there, and we can both decide if it feels like a wedding dress. Then if I still love the style and look, we can discuss it from there. I do have alot of time left, so I guess I shouldn’t be worried – we’re just into the main planning and down-payment time right now, so I think I’m taking everything a bit too seriously at the moment. Thanks so much though, it’s nice to know I’m not alone!!
Post # 9
@FutureMrsDB: So nice of you to give your mother the in store experience. Good luck with the dress hunt, and who knows, maybe at the end of it all, you can still go with a custom dress that both you and Mom will love! 🙂
Post # 10
@FutureMrsDB: I’m glad to hear that you will take a breather and evaluate other options. There are so many girls here with dress regret and multiple dresses – do NOT pull the trigger until you’re 100% sure. Never make a decision on the spot, there is always time to take a few days to think it over. Always.