Post # 1
Member
20 posts
Newbee
Hi Bee’s, I’ve read many similar experiences on this forum but nothing quite compares to my situation. Hopefully some of you can calm me down because honestly I am going crazy in my head (my boyfriend would have absolutely no clue at this stage).
I’ve been with my wonderful man for 1.5yrs and let me just say, we have am excellent relationship and we talk about everything. About 4 months ago we started talking about rings, gems, Gold tones and styles. We came across a stone called moissanite but weren’t sure about it. So we jumped on a plane and booked an overnight stay in a hotel in Sydney Australia (the only store in Australia that sells moissanite is in Sydney). We both fell in love with moissanite and designed the ring I wanted in store. The store said the rings would take 4-6 weeks (we got my wedding set and his band custom also).
I’ve seen other Bee’s who picked their ring or designed it, who knew their partner had already got the ring, they waited anywhere between 3 months to 1.5 years before their other half proposed. And I told my partner how these women felt about that and how I felt about that, obviously I have negative opinions on long waiting times after making me choose the ring.
My partner promised he wouldn’t try to lengthen the time between getting the ring and proposing just to try ro regain an element of surprise (as other men do). He did go on to say that, he would make me wait until he is ready. And while we cuddled on the couch over a glass of wine discussing this I suddenly got the impression I was in fact, about to sit around waiting for atleast 6 months until we had both been together longer and he was ready.
Honestly I think I’m crazy I haven’t even got my ring and I consider myself engaged. I don’t say “I’m engaged” but in my head it’s as good as gold. The rings will be ready in 2 weeks and I’ve asked him to keep them at his parents house until he is ready. I don’t want to sneaky wear them or look at them until he’s ready.
Does anyone have any experience with their man not being “ready”? What does that mean? I plan to discuss it further with him soon. But, it upsets me and I don’t want to let that show yet.
Post # 2
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
applesweet13 : I think there’s a lot of bees with “customer” made moissy rings.
Post # 3
Member
20 posts
Newbee
joesbride1226 : thank you for spotting that! Fixed.
Post # 4
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
joesbride1226 : oh wow I don’t think I would like my ring if a customer made it 😉 hehe
OP, by saying “he is waiting until he is ready” I think he means waiting for the right time as in on a holiday or out at dinner or whatever would be considered a special moment/occasion to you. I highly doubt he means he is not ready emotionally because he has the ring so he definitely wants to propose to so I wouldn’t be upset. He is just waiting for the right time 🙂
Post # 5
Member
20 posts
Newbee
gemstoneheart : I desperately want to believe you, and although I think this is partially true…. I don’t think that’s what he meant. I will be clarifying this with him sometime. When I feel it’s right I’ll ask him what he really meant.
Post # 6
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
applesweet13 : why? what makes you think that? There are obviously other issues if you can conclude that from him saying he is waiting until he is ready when you know he already has the ring. I find it hard to believe that someone would buy a ring if they weren’t emotionally ready.
Post # 7
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
gemstoneheart : Well obviously yes it happens. She is alluding to all the posts where the guy has the ring and hasn’t proposed.
But he doesn’t even have the rings! So just enjoy the waiting time. Enjoy your relationship.
Post # 8
Member
20 posts
Newbee
gemstoneheart : I guess I’ll just have to ask and get it over with! If there are things we need to work on it should start now. Everything is so perfect I am now hoping it is as you first mentioned, that he wants it to be special. Eeeeeeeeeeee
Post # 9
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
gemstoneheart : her intial post said customer. She changed it.
Post # 10
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
We have the ring and he has said he isn’t ready. I’ve been waiting since March. the waiting is hard in the beginning then I just kind of got over it. I have no idea what it means by being “ready” because it’s not like the second we get engaged we will be married. But I respect he needs his time and just need to accept that ball is in his court at this point in time.
I’m not going to tell you to “just enjoy your relationship in the meantime” because that advice just makes me mad. Girl, he loves you enough to buy a ring, he sees a future in you, find comfort in that!
Post # 11
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
joesbride1226 : haha I know! That’s why I made that comment lol
Post # 12
Member
20 posts
Newbee
alou : thank you, exactly what I needed to hear.
Post # 13
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
And this is why I don’t really understand looking at specific rings/ ordering rings / buying rings before the actual proposal.
If a guy went to looka at rings with me without proposing to me straigt away I would get so confussed. You either are ready to get engaged or not? If you are not why are you looking at rings?
I feel like this is just another way of putting pressure on a man which can result in the couple getting engaged before they are ready.
I think this all just makes it so confussing for everyone involved.