(Closed) Cut Off Sister: She's not making it easy. Help.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I would have said a very brief texted ‘thanks for the gifts’ then nothing more. It’s polite, so she can’t go around badmouthing you saying you’re a bitch for not even saying ‘thanks’ (I’m a stickler for good manners -sorry!). But that’s it. No more. Don’t get sucked in to communicating with her again. She’ll just hurt you again. It’s not worth the pain. 

Having read everyone else’s comments, maybe it’s better just to have no communication at all. Don’t send the package back – that will just anger her. Just nothing. Let her see what it’s like to be ignored for once. 

Post # 33
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Be the blackhole. Don’t send the gifts back, just donate or trash them. Definitely do not give her the satisfaction of a response. Not only does she not deserve it, she will see any response you give her as her still having control over you. Block her number. She is not a good person and I applaud you for ending the cycle of abuse. So what if she bad mouths you to people? You know the truth and it will only make her look more unstable to people who know the truth. I cut off my family last year and therapy has helped immensely with dealing with the grieving process. You are strong, OP. Don’t fall into her narc traps. 

Post # 34
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

amb1030 :  oh my god… My sister is the same exact way…. She just had a baby and is using that to get me back into the cycle again and it’s totally working… I feel trapped….

Post # 36
Member
10976 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I can feel myself getting agitated just reading about OP’s situation with her sister.  In my case, the narcissist was my father.

OP, I beg of you–NO CONTACT.

It won’t matter what you, say, write, or text.  All your sister will hear is:  I’m open.

The well meaning Bees on the board advising you to communicate in some fashion have likely not tangled with a malignant narcissist.  I’ve had several.  It’s always the same.

What I do suggest is that you get into therapy for some support for yourself.  A narcissist does incredible damage.

Post # 37
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

First, happy birthday!

Can you donate the toys to a shelter? I personally hate throwing things away, and this way they provide some real good. 

I would not give your sister the satisfaction of knowing that you even received the package. Congratulations to you on setting boundaries for you and your family. 

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