Post # 1
i feel like this is kind of a ridiculous question, but here it goes. we’re having a black tie wedding so i’m trying to keep everything pretty formal. especially since i’ve gotten SO MANY complaints about the dress code (who would’ve thought! i’ve been to plenty of black tie weddings and love them!:-S) but besides the point. i am trying to avoid the–i got all dressed up for THIS?! reaction.
we had decided to scrap the soup and have a heavy cocktail hour, then salad, entree and wedding cake. but that was before i realized a lot less people than i thought will be able to make it (ton of pregnant ladies this year!) so our budget is suddenly a bit more confortable and i’m considering re-adding the soup course. do you think it’s “necessary”/expected in a black tie event? or do you think no one will think it’s odd/not even realize it? i’m not worried about people going hungry–we’ll have tons of hors d’ouvres–but more like, is not having the soup “inappropriate” or whatever in a black tie affair?
thanks for the advice!
NOTE: i added “” to the word “necessary” because i didn’t mean that there is like a HARD RULE, but rather that it may be so expected that people would notice/feel something’s “missing.”
Post # 3
I don’t think if you omit the soup your guests will think it’s inappropriate. If you have room in the budget I would put it elsewhere. Good luck!
Post # 4
People don’t even know how to RSVP properly. I doubt they know the guidlines to a black-tie dinner…
Post # 5
I love soup! hehe
I think it’s fine to leave it out though. I didn’t even know that it was required/expected at a black tie event.
Post # 6
@crayfish: hahaha you raise an excellent point. i’ve received a very good number of rsvps with no names!!! and we asked for names AND initials in our cards. double fail 😉
Post # 7
I’ve never heard of a rule that there has to be soup or 4 courses just because an event is black tie.
Post # 8
I would see if your cater can do something else during the cocktail hour or maybe serve sorbet or ice cream with the cake.
Post # 9
I love soup in the fall and winter, but since your wedding is in May, it might be too hot to have it. Also, I’m the world’s biggest klutz, so I’d probably end up wearing it anyway!
Ooh, I like mmsva’s idea of serving sorbet as part of your dessert! (I’m sure you never would have guessed that, seeing my user name. LOL) That would be so refreshing for that time of year, and it would look really elegant.
Post # 10
Personally I would forego the soup. I look at this way, black tie and soup. Soup tends to drip and I wouldn’t want to get soup on my formal attired
Post # 11
@Sassygrn: haha i hadn’t even thought of that!
@Ms. Sorbet:also an excellent point. i guess soup in the summer may not be the best idea. and sorbet does sound delicious…
Post # 12
I’d skip the soup and do an intermezzo to cleanse the pallete before the entree or either an enhancement to you wedding cake like chocoate dipped strawberries or fruit. Would look very upscale for black tie.
Post # 13
I would do the soup and an intermezzo. Be prepared for a lot of waste with such a heavy cocktail hour. Black tie events to me means I am having a 5-7 course dinner. I love black tie events 🙂
Post # 14
We paid (my husband and I) for our reception and since we needed to budget a bit, we decided the one thing we would cut out was the soup! (To save a little money) I don’t think anybody missed it. Just like you mentioned, we had lots of yummy hors d’ouvres, then a nice dinner and a warm apple blossom dessert, plus wedding cake. I think it will be fine! 🙂
ETA: We also had a salad course. Forgot to mention that!
Post # 15
I’ve been to several very formal weddings, and don’t recall soup… and was still stuffed at the end of the meal. I don’t even really like soup, and definitely wouldn’t like spilling it on my dress. I’ve never had soup without finding a few splashes on my shirt later!
Post # 16
I would scrap the soup. I worked as a catering manager for awhile, and soup is always a nightmare to serve at weddings. It’s sloppy and splashes around in the cups when the servers are trying to get it to the tables…and half of the times it’s not as warm as it should be when the guests get it because you just can’t serve it fast enough. It’s just a hard thing to do for a large group of people. The only time that I saw it go well is when someone chose a soup that had a giant crostini covering the top of the cup…it kept it warm and nothing spilled. 🙂