(Closed) Cute Hair is not Kinky Hair – vent

posted 6 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I, personally LOVE the natural look on african american brides. LOVE. But it’s definately a culture thing and some people just don’t like it. There a documentary about it that I’ve been meaning to watch called “Good Hair”. But, despite my opinion or anyone else’s opinion, you are the bride and get to pick your hair style. The only other person who should even get a slight vote is your intended. So I say, if you like it natural – wear it natural. The question then becomes how to get everyone else on board, or to at least quit bugging you. My solution would be to gush about how excited you are to have natural hair at your wedding. Find cool picutres. Be really excited about it. Because if you’re really excited about it then I think everyone else is likely to voice contrary opinions. Good Luck!

By The Way – check out these articles:

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/12/natural-blackwedding-hair

http://offbeatbride.com/2012/03/natural-black-wedding-hair-pt-2

Post # 4
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry.

I love the look of natural hair.

I didn’t talk to a single person about how I wanted my hair except my hairdresser. If she doesn’t have a say in your underwear or jewelry why should she have a say in your hair. Just tell her what you’re doing with confidence and a ‘so, that’s the way it’s gonna be’ attitude. And leave it at that. If she tries to make something of it, be polite but avoid getting into a discussion where her opinion is given any weight.

Post # 5
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

First off; Congrats on on your BC!

About your delima; I know this story too well.  When I was relaxed I was always the girl with “all that pretty hair.” However, it just didn’t suit my tastes. Last march I decided to transition for 2 years and to the chop in march 2013…3 months before the wedding. When my Southern grandmother and aunts got wind of this, they hit the roof! They said I dont have the hair type to be natural because my father is African (WTF?) and asked if I really wanted my hair looking”rough” in my wedding gown!  

Here’s the thing, many people of African descent still have issues with natural hair.  We are coming a long way, but there are some folks who cannot be convinced no matter what you say.  So instead, I plan to let my hair do the talking.  If you take the steps to have you hair looking fierce, growing healthy, and longer than theirs, they’ll shut up real soon Wink.  Good luck !

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Okay, I LOVE LOVE LOVE natural hair!!!! I think my hair has definitely defined me as a black woman, and i couldnt be more proud to wear/have them. As for your Future Mother-In-Law. ignore it. it’s your hair. Maybe you can have your fiance to tell her to kick it down a notch.

Post # 8
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ok… I’m white, so mine is perhaps not the voice you’ll want to hear, but I can tell you that even with the (admittedly minimal) amount of effort I put into doing my hair on a daily/weekly/monthly basis… there is no way on God’s Green Earth that I would relax, or get a weave/extensions if I had extremely curly hair!  

 Holy COW why would you want to be such a slave to your hairstyle?  GOOD FOR YOU!

It reminds me of the drudgery that used to be women’s lives before the washing machine or gas stove.  

oh and By The Way… these images are what I think of when I think “natural hair”… I may be wrong, maybe these take extra work too?  Besides the twisting?  but they’re TOTALLY SO CUTE!

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@JuneBride02:  

I too have and love natural hair.  I love the versatility of wearing it kinky-curly or straight.

As I am getting married inCancunin about 6 weeks, I am struggling with how I will wear my hair. 

I really do not want to fight with it (and if you are natural…you know the whole detangling thing….) and I am sure my husband will not want me to fuss over hair while on our honeymoon.

I am seriously considering wearing braids….

 

As for your FMIL….I agree with the PP…smile and tell her “you have it all under control”….I get so annoyed when people assume just because you hair is natural it has to be wild (although I love my hair wild Wink)

For you wedding..of course it will look elegant….no matter how you style it!

 

Good Luck! 

 

And Natural Brides Rock! Cool

Post # 11
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@JuneBride02:  Hi there, I can totally relate. However, I, like you, did not entertain the comments. As a matter of fact, I had no idea how my hair was going to look until it got done on the morning of my wedding. Risky, I know.

This is what my hair looks like:

I bought a pack of kinky/curly synthetic hair that I thought closely resembled my hair color and pattern and told the hairdresser that I wanted a side chignon and this is what I got:

Post # 12
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@PeeIBee:  So elegant!

 

@JuneBride02:  I’m not an AA bride, but understand, to a degree, feeling like people want a say in your hair.  I have naturally curly hair and people are ALWAYS asking me why I don’t straighten it.  Ummm, because I happen to LIKE my hair texture, and am no way inclined to spend hours on my hair straightening it every day (damaging it every day!), when this hair is part of who I am!  Do what you want on your wedding day.  As some of the PPs said, it’s between you and your hairstylist. 

Post # 13
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@PeeIBee:  That’s sooooo pretty! I’m mixed, so my hair isn’t coarse, but I have enough for three people and it’s two different kinky textures. I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll have it pressed for the wedding, but everyone has an opinion either way. My mom said I’ll look sloppy if it’s curly, my stepmom says I won’t look like myself if it’s pressed. Whatever

Post # 14
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh, I’m not AA either, but I do have super curly hair and it just irks and amazes me how much the AA community hates on natural styles.  all of those chemicals and hotcombs, flatirons, etc are so bad for hair, it’s crazy.  Natural looks so much more healthy and pretty to me.  Congrats on your BC…I bet it looks super cute.  I think you should stand your ground with the fam.

By The Way, you may already know this, but naturallycurly.com is an awesome online community for great haircare tips and support from like minded curlies! (if you’re as obsessed with your hair as I am!)  🙂

Post # 15
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just want to say I love natural AA hair.  I LOVE it.  Maybe Future Mother-In-Law is just like that- it could be anything- maybe she just is one of those people that like the make their opinion heard.  I would just do what is right for you and try to ignore her suggestions.  People like that are difficult, esp. when you do not have a family-type relationship where you communicate as freely as you would hope. 

Post # 16
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@greenviolets:  @Ellegee: Thank you. I was thinking of a straight style, but know that my hair does not fare well with the slightest bit of humidity. So, I decided to stay naturally curly. I say to each her own!

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