Post # 1
Have any of you decided to cut back drastically on your original reception plans? I have always envisioned a bigger wedding with 250-300 guests and the works! However, as we have been planning, and taking light of certain family health issues and crazy wedding costs, Mr. Man and I are beginning to switch gears.
We are now leaning toward a small, intimate ceremony outside with just our closest friends and family in attendance.
We are to the point where we just want to be MARRIED. That’s exactly what Mr. Man said to me yesterday… “Babe, we can have whatever kind of wedding you want, but I’m just looking forward to the day when I get to introduce you as my wife.”
Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway? The commitment?
Granted a lot of my feelings toward this may be stress-induced, I just can’t help but wonder who exactly we are planning this wedding for…. friends who may not even be in our lives a few years from now? Great Aunts and Uncles who haven’t seen me in years and call me by my sister’s name?
I guess my question is this…. since we have been talking about this bigger wedding with people who would have been invited, how do we go about now telling some of those people that they probably won’t be invited afterall? Do we even say anything at all?
Post # 3
I don’t think you can uninvite anyone. Just don’t make any additional invites that you don’t have to.
If you hint to someone that they can come and then don’t invite them I wouldn’t ever think things would be good in that relationship
Post # 4
I would go w/ your small initimate wedding and then have a BBQ for all those you couldn’t invite.
As long as you haven’t sent out invites, there shouldn’t be any issues. Yes, ppl may be disappointed but w/ the economy, its understandable.
Post # 5
We haven’t sent out any invitations yet, and actually have been talking about having the small family wedding now and a few years down the road -or when we can afford it- renewing our vows and at that point inviting all of the people who have stuck with us through the years.
Post # 7
I totally understand what you’re going through! My fiance and I hardly have a budget and we’re trying to finish up our degrees as well. At this point, I don’t even want to think of reception right now. The ceremony is enough for now. I’ve heard people have a small dessert reception with fun games, conversation, music, etc.
Maybe that might help? All you need is your closest family/friends there. You can always have a breakfast brunch the next day, or some kind of dinner reception weekend after? My family is kind of strange–we hardly see each other (maybe once a year if I am lucky) and same with the fiance’s family. There is probably only a total of about 15-25 people that we really want to be there because we see them often or on a daily basis.
Best wishes, I hate the pressure I put on myself sometimes. It will be fine whatever you both choose to do, don’t worry fellow Bee! 🙂
Post # 8
Im kind of in a similar situation. I asked many people for their addresses for the wedding. Our list was at about 300. Then we switched venues. Our new venue can really only accomodate 200 but we love it. its very us, we love the coordinators and especially the culinary team (we’re into molecular gastronomy and want to do some very unusual and innovative things with food – the chef here specializes in molecular gastronomy so its perfect) and we won’t switch to a different venue. So now I have to figure out how to tell a lot of people that they’re not invited. Do I just not say anything at all? Should I just be honest and say that we switched venues and our venue couldn’t accomodate everyone? Im a little stressed about it and now wish I hadn’t asked everyone so early on (but I also didn’t anticipate switching to this particular venue…it was a very unexpected decision).
Post # 9
@RhubarbPie: Did you tell people specifically that the addresses were for the wedding? If so, you’re definitely going to have to have a heart to heart with those individuals. I think a lot of people would assume that asking for an address for a wedding was essentially a wedding invite.
Post # 10
@MidwestBride2012: yea, when I asked for addresses it was clear that it was SPECIFICALLY for the wedding. It definitely was kind of like a ‘pre-invite’. When I asked, we had anticipated a venue that could accomodate 500 people if we had wanted. So stressed about this 🙁 Definitely should’ve waited to ask everyone but like I said, it had never entered my mind that we would switch venues. And actually, at the time when I asked people, for various reasons, I was vehemently against getting married at our current venue (long story…not worth going into). But then I went to look at it and met with the event team there and just knew it was for us. ugh…
Post # 11
It’s just so frustrating trying to figure out what to do! We went over our guest list last night, and with immediate family we’re at 75! This isn’t even counting our good friends and family friends.
We’re just going to have to have the line between what we want to do and what we CAN do!