(Closed) Cutting back to a bare bones wedding, sad

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think cutting back to a bare bones wedding is sad.  Some of the most beautiful weddings I’ve been to are small, simple ones.  (This is nothing against people having elaborate weddings; I believe people should do what they want–no judging here.)  I do second the idea that you need some sort of photography, a student photographer or even just some disposable cameras for guests.  There are some places online where you can buy in bulk.  I bought 15 cameras for $30.  Maybe you could put an ad on Craigslist for a photography student?  Would you be opposed to someone from your family “gifting” you a photographer?  We are also paying for the wedding ourselves, and it hurts sometimes to know we can’t have a DJ or fancy catering or other things that are seen at big Southern weddings.  But at the end of the day, I know it will be perfect for us.  I really want to applaud you for working within your budget and for thinking of his grandmother. 

Post # 18
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You gotta do what you gotta do and it sound pretty good to me.

Post # 19
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If we don’t elope, that’ll be our wedding, pretty much.

I’m sorry you’re feeling a bit sad about it, and I hope you can come to terms with making adjustments and start feeling excited about how you’re doing things. It *will* feel great to not be overwhelmed in debt after the wedding.

APW’s been running some easy DIY lately, which might help you in terms of making your flower arrangements, and you can definitely bake a lovely cake yourself. Have you thought about looking for a dress from Once Wed, or Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses? There’s also bridesmaids dresses (which is what I did), fancier cotton sundresses, department store dresses.

For no photographer, ask your guests to bring their cameras and take pictures – I’ve heard of people doing this and asking their guests to add them to a flickr account or something similar, so you can see everything that was shot and print them (cheaply!). The photography thing is the only thing I’m still a bit on the fence on but I’m leaning heavily away from it. It’s a big expense, and while many people feel they got their money’s worth, it’s not the be all and end all.

On the same vein as APW’s idea of what you need to get married, I came across an article not long ago that really cemented my plan to have something simple and within what we could spend comfortably and happily.

Post # 20
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I found my photographer for 400 dollars on craigslist, you might want to email photographers who are starting or email established photographers and ask them if they know anyone who is starting out…or see if someone can just take photos of your ceremony or have “hire” friends take pictures look on facebook for a friend or a friend of friend who takes great pictures and ask them so that you some photos of your day

you get get glass containers at Michaels for .94 cents sand, shells and tea lights will make nice really cheap centerpieces, or you can ask friends and family to borrow their vases or glassware… maybe you have an aunt who collects something cool that you can use as your centerpieces think outside the box centerpieces do not have to be flowers

plastic table clothes are not the end of the world neither is plastic forks and plates my sister in law did this for her wedding and no one cared (and it was a fancier wedding)

fake flowers night be cheaper then real if you look for deals and use the sunday coupons

on your website do a byoc (bring your own chair) most people have camping chairs etc or contact a local church,firehall, club etc you might be surprised how low it might be

look for used dresses, asked to borrow a dress for a relative or friend believe it or not i was offered two dresses for free

step back and think of your wedding more of a family picnic would your family be against byob if drinks are important? can you do just one or two kegs and maybe a couple of bottles of wine? Do you have friends that have a lot of alcohol that they want to get rid of (i have friends like this)

walmart/local grocery stores make good cake and cupcakes if you dont want to make them yourself… walmart cupcakes by me equal out to be .60 each

do you or your Fiance have any skills that you can barter with?  my Fiance is laid of so he has time so we are drylocking a friends basement who does videos on the side to do our wedding video. We volunteered to clean the space before and after to lower our ceremony costs

dont care what everyone says this is your wedding and you have to live with the expensive afterward but dont give up there are things you can do …

 

 

 

Post # 21
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is actually pretty close to what my wedding was going to be. A potluck at a state park. Then my mother stepped in and offered to help pay. Some days I still wish I had gone with the simpler plan.

Post # 22
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like you’re totally on top of things.  The things you mentioned sound really great (beach wedding with a bbq reception – yes please)!

Post # 23
Member
8992 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Please reconsider the plastic table cloths- not that they are tacky they just don’t scream wedding to me. My cousin was going to do this but I convinced her of another handmade option. I suggested getting rolls of butchers paper and getting all of our little cousins to colour it in with pencils with memories of my cousin and her partner or with messages and pictures of love. It turned out really really cute and people commented on how wonderful and personal they were.

 

Post # 25
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@j_jaye:  I second the butcher paper idea. It’ll look really sharp.

Post # 27
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You can probably ask for a few nice tablecloths, some decor and other stuff on your local Freecycle. http://freecycle.org.

Chairs too, as long as you don’t mind them not matching.

Post # 28
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am sure your wedding will be beautiful, intimate, and memorable! You don’t need to do anything differently!  Yhe wedding you have planned will be wonderful, and Ocean Shores is such a beautiful destination and a fun trip.

Post # 29
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@automaticflowers:  Not to threadjack, but alot of your ideas are versions of what we ended up doing for our wedding, also on a small budget.

paper lantern cluster in a picnic pavilion

mismatched grocery store cakes and pies for our dessert buffet

paper tablecloths and paper doilies

Get your colors and general ideas together and work on a mockup table with just Dollar Store items.  You’ll be surprised at now nice things turn out once all together.

Post # 31
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Love the ideas. Sounds like it’ll be an amazing wedding. And more or less identical to one of the best ones I’ve attended. Have you thought about re-selling your dress? Might give you more budget room in that dept. 

Also re: photogs, could you still use yours but negotiate so that you don’t pay until, say, 6 months from the wedding — and won’t receive your pics until you’ve paid in full. A friend did that with video services so it’s not unheard of. Otherwise, love the guest photo idea. 

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