(Closed) Cutting down a guest list AFTER sending out save the dates??

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I still cut down the guest list at this point, after already sending out save the dates in Jan.?
    Sure, just invite all the people you REALLY want to be there : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Stick with your original list : (45 votes)
    94 %
    Other (explain) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 17
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I guess my feeling is that a "save the date" is a request for people to mark the date on their calendar and plan on coming.   Usually you do this b/c the invitations go out too close to the wedding for people to make arrangements.  Otherwise you would just send an announcement or put it in the paper.  I think it would be a pretty big breach of ettiquette not to invite someone after you’ve already asked them to reserve the date of your wedding.  I can somewhat understand if the date or venue changes, but otherwise I would look at it from the guest’s POV.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh b/c I know how out of hand things can get…but it’s also important to recognize that some people make big efforts to support couples on their wedding day and just b/c it’s a wedding doesn’t mean certain courtesies don’t apply.

    Post # 18
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Yeah, an STD is a pre-invitation.  You have to send the invites.  Is there anywhere you can cut down… flowers, centerpieces, bar?

    Post # 20
    2470 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Yeaaa — Save the Dates = Invites. No wiggle room there, just keep your fingers crossed for some declines. I know you’ve said there isn’t anywhere else to save, but if you sit down and really analyze every option, you will definitely be bound to find some more cash.

    Post # 21
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Mmm, agreed with everyone above.

    Is there ANYWHERE you can cut back on cost? Have you booked your cake and everything? Theres gotta be some fat in the budget you can trim…boy that really sucks, though!

    We invited 210 to our LOCAL wedding. Maybe 4 guests total from out of town. We have 89 who have RSVP’ed YES 6 weeks before. I’m thinking we’ll end up with about 130 people.  Thats about 60%

    I’d roll with 75%, right in between! hA

    Post # 22
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    Yes, estimate that 80% will come! We were really hoping for a little less than that (budget-wise)….but alas, about 80% ended up RSVPing ‘yes.’

    I also agree that save-the-dates = invites. No way out of that one, you’ll have to make cuts elsewhere. 



    Post # 23
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    A Save the Date is sent to inform people so that they can book plane tickets and hotel reservations ahead of the actual invitation which details the plans of the DAY.  So if you sent an STD you can’t skimp there now, because you’ll have guests left in limbo.

    Consider that your family may be as reluctant to attend as you are to have them since the economy is down right now.  If everyone is coming from out of town, expect only 60% to be able to come right now.  You can also have your mom grease the skids by calling them to chat and casually mentioning that you understand how difficult the economy is and you would understand if they couldn’t make it.  Go ahead and send out the invites!  Hold your breath, but I’ll bet that your guests will fall off on their own anyway.

    Our wedding will be Out of Town for all of our families too, and we have about a 50% RSVP rate right now.

    Post # 24
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    That is the one drawback to sending Save-The-Date Cards.  You have to be on top of your game that much sooner.  And know who you want to invite.  If you originally planned on 200 and sent as many Save-The-Date Cards, then find you blew your budget on dress florist etc, you’re in a bit of a bind. 

    I think you need to send invitations to all STD people.  What if based on the STd they took the day off work, or already cancelled a golf weekend with the buddies, only to not get the invitation at all?  Yikes!.

    Post # 25
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We have about a 75-80% yes count. We actually took a couple people off our original list after sending save-the-dates because of lost friendships. Sometimes that happens and I think it is better not to invite someone who is no longer our friend than have them at the wedding. Other than that, though, I’d say stick with the original list.

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