Post # 1
Our wedding venue can hold 185 people maximum, and 160 comfortable. My fiance and I have a guest list of about 170 in which I am trying my hardest to cut down. He has a big family and he’s very close to all of them so his list is at about 117 people. Mine is at 53. My question is what is the etiquette about cutting family members off the list? Honestly, my family sucks. I have a bigger family but I don’t hardly EVER talk to most of them. My favorite cousin Chuck married one of my best friends so I obviously want to invite them. But is it rude to invite them and not his 3 brothers and parents? I moved away years ago and haven’t spoken a word to any of them besides Chuck in like 6 years. Also my grandmother is a VERY bad alcoholic and I just really don’t want to deal with making sure she doesn’t get wasted and make a fool out of herself the whole night. I also have barely spoken to her in years. When I called her to let her know I got engaged she was so drunk she didn’t even know who I was, she asked me if it was to the babies dad. I don’t have a baby. Somebody help! I would rather cut them all off the list to make room for friends I went to college with who actually mean something to me! I know that sounds cold but its true!
Post # 3
Invite the people you WANT there. You are not obligated to invite anyone who makes you uncomfortable.
Post # 4
I second what @vorpalette said: Only invite people you want there. If you don’t really communicate with branches of your family, then I don’t see why you have to invite them.
Post # 5
@k_sid188: I don’t think it sounds cold at all! Only invite who you really want there. The only reason I would invite people I don’t *really* want is if it would be more awkward if they weren’t invited than if they came. But with a lot of FI’s family it would be more awkward if they were there, haha…. sounds like that might be the case with your grandmother.
Post # 6
I have 1 uncle, 3 aunts and 8 cousins all of whom are married and have children (some have grandchildren. I speak to 1 aunt and 1 cousin. They are the only ones I invited to the wedding. the one cousin I did invite has 2 brothers – didn’t invite them. The ones I didn’t invite I haven’t seen or spoken to in years and years.
Invite the people you want there and will be happy to see
Post # 7
I agree to invite those who you want there. I know sometimes it’s easier to say it then to do it, but you should be surrounded by the people who mean the most to you on that day!
Post # 8
First, cutt of anyone that you think will be an issue. If grandma is going to be an issue, don’t bother. It’s not worth worrying about issues that may happen.
If you haven’t talked to someone in over a year, there is no obligation, even if they are family. Personally I feel that it’s awkward to be invited and spend money on someone or have money spent on me when there is no relationship in place.