(Closed) Cutting guests from list after after asking for invite addresses.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve been asked for my address when I know brides were planning a wedding, and assumed it was because they were planning on inviting me, but for whatever reason, decided not to and it didn’t bother me that much.  Especially because 2 of them were co-workers that I wasn’t expecting to be invited to their weddings anyway. They never said anything, I never asked. 

But if those people did ask, I would just tell them exactly what you told us.  You had to move your date, therefore moving your venue, which had a smaller limit and/or your budget changed.

Post # 3
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
jaegermoon:  You can still send out wedding announcements. That would account for asking for their addresses. Hopefully your new guestlist is significantly smaller, then you can comfortably word the announcement that  “___ and ___ were married in an intimate ceremony on _____”.

Post # 4
1094 posts
Bumble bee

Polite ladies keep a visiting book (or address book or contacts app or spreadsheet) in which they note their friends’ preferred form of address (Miss/Ms/Mrs/Lady/Doctor/whatever) names, addresses, birthdates, anniversary dates and then record whether they’ve remembered to send that friend a Christmas or Birthday card, when they last had them over for dinner, what they are allergic to, and so on. One keeps such a book regardless of whether one is getting married. Let us simply assume that you were asking for addresses for that book; and send them a Christmas card this year for sure. No promise of an invitation was implied, nor should one have been inferred.

Post # 5
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

When you collected thier addresses, did you say you needed it for invites? If yes, then I would send a letter explaining the military career forcing you both to change your plans. If no, then just send them a wedding announcement or birthday card.

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