- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi ladies. It’s been a really rough day and I’m just looking for a little support.
I am TTC baby #1 and had a chemical pregnancy last cycle. The doctor gave the go-ahead for us to try again right away. Right now I am 10dpo and I’m a total mess. This is just about when I started getting faint BFPs last month. I’m not stressing about testing right now- I know it’s early and I’m only testing tomorrow because I’m doing a pretty brutal race in the morning.
The issue is that I’m feeling hopeless. First, I’m convinced that I won’t get another positive test for quite some time. No rational reason for thinking this, it’s all emotional. I also had these big plans regarding a pregnancy timeline (with a few months “flexibility” in case it didn’t happen right away), and that’s definitely not happening now. The biggest problem- I’m feeling like if I do get a BFP, it’s meaningless. I thought I was being “cautiously optimistic” last month but I’ve since realized how attached I got in just a week (I started bleeding at 5 weeks). Now, it’s like a positive test is no guarantee of anything- it just seems silly to get excited about it since chances are high that I’ll lose it again.
Again, I realize full well that my emotions are clouding my common sense right now. I’m just wondering- for those of you who have had a chemical (or any sort of loss), how did you cope? Did you find it difficult to stay hopeful? Was the first cycle trying afterward particularly difficult?
Thanks for reading!