(Closed) Dad & Stepmom trying to invite 1/3 of guests

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would start by gathering your list and your FI’s family list. Once you have a better idea on your own personal numbers it’ll help you figure this out better.

Do you want to only invite 100 people or have 100 people attend? If its 100 attend, then you can invite a tad more knowing that some people will have conflicts. A closer look at your guest list will help you determine who will actually come. If they live in town or within driving distance I’d imagine you’ll have a higher portion come.

For the 14 reciprocal invites, did they actually attend all those weddings or just receive invites? My family just for an invite for a neighbor from when we lived in Wyoming’s daughter but they had no intention of going. Now, I’ll send them an invite but I don’t even think they’ll come. Clarify what type these are and if they’ll really come.

Once you’ve figured out how many people you want to invite it’ll make the conversation easier. That way you can say “we have x amount on our list and we feel these 25 people are our priority!”

Also, make sure that your dad and stepmom don’t start telling people they’re invited. I would tell them “thanks for the guest list, we’re compiling all of them and seeing where we stand so please don’t mention anything until we get the list finalized”

I just think your conversation will go more pleasantly if you can take this approach instead of just saying “I don’t want to invite your 14 friends I don’t care about”. Even if that’s the way you feel, this will seem more well reasoned!

Post # 4
Member
46328 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Great suggestions from the PP. I would also suggest you make sure your Dad is present when you have the conversation.

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