- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Not sure why this problem didn’t cross my mind til now, but hopefully some of you Bees can help? Here’s the situation:
I was raised catholic (baptised, received communion, confirmed), I still go to church (almost) every Sunday, and my Dad is VERY religious. My Fiance on the other hand is not. Some ppl would argue that if your soon-to-be spouse does not share your religious beliefs that it will not work out. I am not one of those ppl that believe this. I love my Fiance to pieces, and he does believe in “spirits” but not really one over all “being” or God per se. We’ve already discussed what we’re going to do as far as how to raise our kids religiously.
He will go to church once in a while, just to be supportive I suppose, and because he’s curious. We’ve decided that once we have kids that we will introduce them to what it means to be catholic when they can begin to comprehend and let them decide what their religious beliefs are when they are old enough to form their own mature opinions. This is my own personal belief that every child whether baptized or not is a child of God, and that he loves us ALL, that if he created this Earth, that he created everything that we all come from.
So here’s my big dilemma. I was talking to one of my girlfriends at work (who is also catholic) and she told me that her priest told her that in order for an engaged couple to be married in the catholic church that the bride and groom, and the Maid/Matron of Honor or the Best man have to confirmed. My Fiance I believe was baptized and was forced to go to church by his parents until he was 8 or so. Not sure if he received his 1st holy communion, but I definitely know that he was not confirmed. Another thing – he REFUSES to take the classes and get confirmed.
Here’s the second part of my dilemma: my mom pretty much told me that if I don’t get married in a catholic church that my dad will NOT walk me down the aisle , or if he does that it will be a very emotionally hurtful experience for him, which I think might be worse? So ultimately, I’m being forced to chose between Fiance and family, and I don’t even know if there’s room for comprimise.
My dad, (like most?) is not much of a talker. So, I don’t even know how I’d go about bringing up any discussion about this with him. I more-or-less go through my Mom most of the time, and she (being married to my Dad) usually knows what he would say or how he would feel in most difficult situations.
Any advice or comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks!