Dad and home

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 2
47287 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you are both being a bit silly. It’s natural for him to refer to his house as home. It’s also natural for you to refer to the apartment as home. Context is everything.

Post # 4
9995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I haven’t lived at my parents house for almost 10 years now and my mom still refers to her and my dad’s house as home and they don’t even still live in the house I grew up in. It doesn’t bother me. 

Post # 6
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I believe it probably is normal for him to forget and refer to his house as home for you, but if he is correcting you when you are (correctly) calling your apartment home, then that is very odd. Maybe he hasn’t truly accepted the fact that you are an adult who has moved out of the parental household? 

When my partner or myself are visiting our parents, we say we are going to ‘parents house’, because that is the accurate description of the situation. Our home is where we live together. 

Post # 8
2917 posts
Sugar bee

Unless there’s a lot more you didn’t share, I don’t see why this is a big deal.

Post # 10
839 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes when people fixate on stuff like this – your dad insisting his house is home – it means he’s struggling with feelings surrounding that topic. And referring to it as home is somehow making a point. Like perhaps he feels you left too young (even though they wanted it), maybe he’s feeling regret, maybe he’s struggling with issues relating to his parents and their home…..could be a dozen different things. But it’s doesnt necessarily mean it’s meant to upset you. The fact that you called him out on it and he further insists means you should probably just ignore it. Don’t give him any more fuel. And if you already have a strained relationship, I’d probably drop it. YOU choose where YOUR home is. 

Post # 12
6794 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would agree with others that it’s not that big a deal except for the fact that he’s actively going out of his way to correct you (a point maybe the others missed?). That would annoy me. A LOT. I prefer direct communication so I’d probably just say “Dad, your place is YOUR home and my apartment is MY home, now. Your home can still be my home, too, if it’s that serious for you. But stop correcting me when I say that. It’s not necessary.”

Post # 13
8750 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
pumpkinwaffle :  the correcting would bug the shit out of me too and I probably wouldn’t let it go personally. He isn’t respecting that you are an independent adult who has made her own home elsewhere.

Post # 14
1918 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

My parents and my in laws both do this. Whenever they call us and invite us over for dinner they say come home for dinner. It has never bothered neither of us. In turn when we invite them for dinner we say the same thing

Post # 15
1391 posts
Bumble bee

my parents does the same thing. except that they don’t correct and I call both places home. yes, the correcting is annoying. maybe next time he corrects it to apartment you can emphasise and say “no, I meant my home”

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