Post # 1
So I moved out of my parents house and in with my boyfriend almost a year again now. They wanted me to move out anyways. I was 22.
My Dad makes it a point to refer to the apartment as the apartment and my parents house as home.
Like the other day, I was at school and I called him about my birthday dinner. At one point he was like, so you going to come home and pick up x and hang out, right? (I needed to drop off a suitcase I borrowed too). And I replied I need to run home to get the suitcase and change and then I’ll come over. And then he stops and corrects me “You mean your going to run back to your apartment and then home.”
At that point, he’s already done this several times through the year. And I’m like Well technically they are both home, but yes that’s what I’m doing. His reply is No This is home. Or something similar.
My relationship with my parents isn’t the best but it’s not the worst either. They also don’t like my Boyfriend or Best Friend just because he is not there version of successful and dropped out of Collage. (He wants to go back though).
Anyways, I kind of find it funny and a tiny bit sad maybe. A little bit confused too. I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else?
Post # 2
I think you are both being a bit silly. It’s natural for him to refer to his house as home. It’s also natural for you to refer to the apartment as home. Context is everything.
Post # 3
Lol probably we are both being silly. It’s worth noting my mom doesn’t do this and doesn’t correct me.
Also I’m not sure if I’m reading that last part correctly, but he saying that the apartment isn’t my home. Of course his house is his home.
Post # 4
I haven’t lived at my parents house for almost 10 years now and my mom still refers to her and my dad’s house as home and they don’t even still live in the house I grew up in. It doesn’t bother me.
Post # 5
It normally wouldn’t bother me it’s just that he corrects me every time.
Post # 6
I believe it probably is normal for him to forget and refer to his house as home for you, but if he is correcting you when you are (correctly) calling your apartment home, then that is very odd. Maybe he hasn’t truly accepted the fact that you are an adult who has moved out of the parental household?
When my partner or myself are visiting our parents, we say we are going to ‘parents house’, because that is the accurate description of the situation. Our home is where we live together.
Post # 7
Maybe that’s the reason. Yeah we do that too.
It it might have not been clear in my original post but my Dad actively corrects me whenever I refer to my apartment as home. That’s what been slightly bugging me.
Post # 8
Unless there’s a lot more you didn’t share, I don’t see why this is a big deal.
Post # 9
It’s not a big deal. It’s just something that has been slighting bugging me. I kind of find it funny.
But what actually bugs me is the fact is that he actively corrects me every time I call the apartment home.
Just wanted to see if this is something other Bees have dealt with.
Sorry if that is unclear. It won’t let me edit the original post. Does this help?
Post # 10
Sometimes when people fixate on stuff like this – your dad insisting his house is home – it means he’s struggling with feelings surrounding that topic. And referring to it as home is somehow making a point. Like perhaps he feels you left too young (even though they wanted it), maybe he’s feeling regret, maybe he’s struggling with issues relating to his parents and their home…..could be a dozen different things. But it’s doesnt necessarily mean it’s meant to upset you. The fact that you called him out on it and he further insists means you should probably just ignore it. Don’t give him any more fuel. And if you already have a strained relationship, I’d probably drop it. YOU choose where YOUR home is.
Post # 11
That makes sense.
Yeah I wasn’t going to push it anymore. It was just confusing. Thanks!
Post # 12
I would agree with others that it’s not that big a deal except for the fact that he’s actively going out of his way to correct you (a point maybe the others missed?). That would annoy me. A LOT. I prefer direct communication so I’d probably just say “Dad, your place is YOUR home and my apartment is MY home, now. Your home can still be my home, too, if it’s that serious for you. But stop correcting me when I say that. It’s not necessary.”
Post # 13
the correcting would bug the shit out of me too and I probably wouldn’t let it go personally. He isn’t respecting that you are an independent adult who has made her own home elsewhere.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
My parents and my in laws both do this. Whenever they call us and invite us over for dinner they say come home for dinner. It has never bothered neither of us. In turn when we invite them for dinner we say the same thing
Post # 15
my parents does the same thing. except that they don’t correct and I call both places home. yes, the correcting is annoying. maybe next time he corrects it to apartment you can emphasise and say “no, I meant my home”