(Closed) Dad died almost 2 months ago and I’m about to get engaged.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Awww that must be so hard πŸ™ What if you carry something significant of his down the aisle? 

I can’t imagine how difficult that must be! 

Post # 4
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have not gone through that, but I just wanted to send *hugs* your way. I’m sure your Fiance will be sweet an understanding, as it is a really difficult time, especially with the dad-centric parts of weddings. I really like PP’s idea of carrying something special with you as you make that trip down the aisle. The hive is really big, I’m sure that you’ll find some bees who have been through similar situations, but I guarantee you’ll always find someone here to listen.

Post # 5
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@youtookmyseat: Oh my poor poppet!  My eyes are filling with tears reading this.  I am so sorry for your loss. I like the idea of carrying something personal of his down the aisle as well.  You have time to think about what you would like to do about that part of the day, so for now concentrate on yourself and working through your grief.

Lots of hugs to you xxx

Post # 6
387 posts
Helper bee

@youtookmyseat: hugs to you!  He will most certainly be with you throughout the entire process AND walking you down the aisle!!  If you’d like, you can tie his wedding ring to your bouquet, or carry his handerchief, rosary, etc. that way there will be a material piece of him with you!

Post # 7
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

Or you could even carry a small photo of him on your bouquet. I also love the wedding ring idea. I can’t imagine going through that, I’m so sorry for your loss!!! What about your mother or a grandparent or sibling walking you down the aisle?

Post # 8
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


First up, I am so sorry for your loss

I am in a fairly similar situation in the fact that my dad passed away a couple of months ago too (2.5 months to be exact) and it is hard and seriously there will be times in your planning that you’ll just start crying, and I am gonna say this is normal, (I hope) cos it is a big event in your life and it just reminds you of what you dont have. I guess I was lucky that my dad did get a chance to meet my Fiance (we were engaged for 1.5 month before he died) but still it doesnt help the hurt and pain that dad’s death has brought me.

My mum is walking me down the aisle. I am still trying to decide if I will have a memorial of some sort at the wedding too. I am hoping as it gets closer I will be able to deal with it a little better and be able to honour his memory in a way what won’t make me get upset.

Post # 9
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@youtookmyseat: I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m tearing up reading this.

There are so many things you can do for him. You can wear a locket with his picture in it or my friend when she walked down only carried 1 rose for him.

You will find something special and it will get easier. I wish you luck


Post # 11
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry for your loss.  You sound like you have a really great attitude, though.  Sending huge hugs your way. <3

Post # 12
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@youtookmyseat: I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. Unfortunately, I feel your pain. My dad passed away suddenly about 3.5 years ago — it happened about 1.5 months after my now-husband started dating, so they definitely didn’t have time to meet (we live on opposite coasts). My dad had heard about him, so at least he knew that this guy existed, but there was really no time. 

I went back and forth about how I wanted to remember him at our wedding. At first, I thought about doing some sort of father-daughter slide show in place of the father-daughter dance (I know a friend who did this), but I knew I would be bawling like a baby (along with many others) and I decided I wanted it to be a happy day, and I only wanted happy tears, not sad tears. So I ended up just setting up a table at the venue with a bunch of pictures of my dad and I throughout the years, along with his favorite flowers. Understated, but present. 

In the end, it’s 100% up to you how you want to remember him. I feel you, though, it probably took me 2 years to be able to not bawl at the drop of a dime whenever I thought about my wedding without him… and admittedly I still sometimes do. 

The best part of the ceremony was that as soon as I walked down the aisle and stood at the alter, apparently a beam of sunshine came out and lighted me up for the entire ceremony. Pretty good for an outdoor November wedding in Boston.  I didn’t notice it at the time, but all the guests told me about it afterwards… everyone, of course, thought about my dad when they saw it. OK, crying now so I’m gonna stop. πŸ˜›

Hang in there, girl… xoxo

Post # 13
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

Aw sweetie, I’m so sorry. I just lost my dad unexpectedly about a month ago and I still have a hard time coming to reality about it. Some days I find myself going to call or text him and then I remember all over again. I am about 3 months from our wedding now (99 days!) and I haven’t even faced the question of who will be walking me down the aisle yet. I know how hard it is to not have someone you love there with you in person when something big and life changing happens like that. Know that your dad will totally be there with you in spirit, both during the proposal, and the wedding. It’s really hard, but your dad would want you to be happy and not sad. I know it’s easier said than done, but just take one day at a time, that’s what I have been doing.

Post # 15
6 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m in a similar situation,I thought I was alone in this.

My fiance and my dad did get a chanc to meet as we got engaged without a ring in January and I got to tell him the news. He didn’t show much emotion at thetime as he was suffering depression. In April one morning I got my ring but half an hr after I was told my dad committed suicide. 

I felt shattered, not only had I lost my dad but I had also lost this wonderful moment that most girls get to experience.Note I’m not looking fwd to the wedding and I still cry when I think about  getting my ring. I really want my fiancé to take the ring back and repropose in a different way but I dont know if I am going too far???

I am planning on cutting up one of my dads blue ties and using it as a garter for the wedding

Post # 16
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i’m so sorry for your loss. <3

my mom and brother are both going to walk me down the aisle, as my dad passed away a few years ago.  my mom will definitely be crying, and my younger brother still feels weird about it but i’m hoping he grows up a bit in the next year and a half lol.

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