Dad Died Last Week – Two Months Before My Wedding

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1918 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I’m so sorry for your loss

Post # 3
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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nolastdance :  I’m so sorry for your loss bee. Have you found a way to honor your dad in the ceremony yet?

Maybe having a special way to include him in your wedding will make the planning just a bit easier.

Post # 4
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My dad died this time last year from cancer. From the time of his diagnosis to his passing, it was less than two months. I am getting married this summer. Right now it’s going to be hard for you to find the time to grieve appropriately, because you have a lot going on. Here is what I can tell you: it will get better. And he will be there with you on your wedding day. 

When my dad died I had just started a new job and like you I had trouble focusing. I got some anxiety medication which helped. But here is what I did that helped me.  I set aside time to cry alone. I allowed myself an hour or two. (Sometimes I did it on my lunch break) So basically I compartmentalized everything. After my grieving time  I would say “now you’re going to focus on learning the job for the next two hours”. It worked by allowing me to stay functioning.  

So how about this. You allow yourself plenty of time for crying and then have something to look forward to—like looking through bridal magazines or Pinterest?

 In a way, having the planning stages to get through will help, just like having my new job helped me avoid a huge spiral of depression and anxiety.  Also he would want you to enjoy this time of anticipation and planning — so do it for him.  Find the joy for him.  Peace and blessings 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
11341 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
nolastdance :  

Oh, Bee.  I am so very sorry for you loss.

Post # 6
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry for your loss. 

Post # 7
Member
3250 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Deeply sorry for your loss

Post # 8
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I am so so sorry for your loss. Love and hugs.

Post # 9
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I am so sorry for your loss, bee. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. You sound like a wonderful daughter. 

Post # 10
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

sorry for your loss, sorry if this founds crazy but maybe carry of pic of him with you down the aisle?

in my culture we have a table with candles at celebrations with pics of our dear departed to celebrate with us in spirit.

Post # 11
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

Hugs to you, bee. I am so very sorry for your loss <3

Post # 12
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - City, State

nolastdance :  I am so sorry for your loss.  I had a similar situation… My husband’s mom passed away 4 months before our wedding and my mom passed away 4 weeks before our wedding.

I definitely didn’t feel like doing any wedding stuff for 3 weeks after my mom passed, and 1 week before the wedding I knew I had to get myself together. It was tough, and it was a very odd mix of emotions grieving our moms and at the same time anticipating the joy of our wedding/marriage.  I almost felt apologetic when people asked if I was excited about the wedding when I was so overwhelmed with shock and grief over my mom’s death.  Like you, I had all kind of back up plans if my mom couldn’t walk, if she only had energy to attend the wedding or the reception, if she was in the hospital….I even had the seating chart done,  and my dad had hired a caregiver to help my mom on the wedding day.  One thing that did help was that I asked my fiance to contact the pastor, florist,  reception manager, and organist to let them know about my mom’s passing and the changes that needed to be made.  I just couldn’t do it,  and I didn’t want to have to tell them  at the rehearsal. 

Both my husband and I definitely had a few tearful moments on our wedding day, and it’s still somewhat bittersweet when I remember it…  but at the same time, it was a happy day. I tried to imagine our moms dancing in heaven and kept reminding myself that neither were burdened with pain nor physical limitations any longer. 

This was my experience and my hope in writing this is that  it encourages you that you too can make it through this time and still have a joyous wedding day.  But, I also know that everyone’s grieving process is unique.  So, as my mother-in-law used to say, please be gentle with yourself right now.  And I’ll keep you in my prayers that God may guide  you through this time and that you still enjoy your wedding day!  

Post # 13
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee

Omg bee. I’m so so sorry for your lost. You’re in my prayers!

Post # 14
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry you lost your dad. That’s terrible.

Post # 15
Member
890 posts
Busy bee

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please make sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Could you hand the remaining wedding planning over to a trusted friend? It’s incredible that you were there for your Dad, especially his last 6 days. So sweet that you discussed your wedding, and know that he will be there, with you in spirit. Wishing you peace, comfort and healing. 

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