Post # 1
I am still in shock that this is real life. My Dad passed away February 15. We knew he was terminally ill so my fiance and I rushed our wedding a bit (6 months after engagement) in hopes he could make it. He fought really hard and made the wedding his goal, but sadly he went downhill two weeks ago. I took care of him his last 6 days while he was under in-home hospice care and we were able to talk about the wedding. I told him it was OK that he wasn’t going to be there and that I would walk down the isle alone because I knew he’d be there in spirit. He tried so hard to make the big day – up until the day he died, he was still fighting to be there. We had our song picked out to dance to, his outfit set, we talked about walking or wheeling him down the isle in case he was in a wheelchair by then – it was all planned and now I feel lost.
I got my hopes up that he would make it because he was so strong and doing relatively well then all of a sudden he went downhill so fast. I can’t believe it. It all feels like a blur and now I’m 57 days away from the wedding and I’m having a really hard time doing the last bit of planning. I still need to get the last details finished – my boots (its a country wedding), rustic signs, decorations, – all the fun stuff, but I’m dreading it all. I’m incredibly depressed and overwhelmed planning his memorial along with the wedding. I just hope I can still have fun and enjoy it without him there because I know that’s what he wants, but I’m having a hell of a time. Everything about the wedding reminds me of this massive loss and I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
I’m so sorry for your loss
Post # 3
I’m so sorry for your loss bee. Have you found a way to honor your dad in the ceremony yet?
Maybe having a special way to include him in your wedding will make the planning just a bit easier.
Post # 4
My dad died this time last year from cancer. From the time of his diagnosis to his passing, it was less than two months. I am getting married this summer. Right now it’s going to be hard for you to find the time to grieve appropriately, because you have a lot going on. Here is what I can tell you: it will get better. And he will be there with you on your wedding day.
When my dad died I had just started a new job and like you I had trouble focusing. I got some anxiety medication which helped. But here is what I did that helped me. I set aside time to cry alone. I allowed myself an hour or two. (Sometimes I did it on my lunch break) So basically I compartmentalized everything. After my grieving time I would say “now you’re going to focus on learning the job for the next two hours”. It worked by allowing me to stay functioning.
So how about this. You allow yourself plenty of time for crying and then have something to look forward to—like looking through bridal magazines or Pinterest?
In a way, having the planning stages to get through will help, just like having my new job helped me avoid a huge spiral of depression and anxiety. Also he would want you to enjoy this time of anticipation and planning — so do it for him. Find the joy for him. Peace and blessings
Post # 5
Oh, Bee. I am so very sorry for you loss.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Post # 7
Deeply sorry for your loss
Post # 8
I am so so sorry for your loss. Love and hugs.
Post # 9
I am so sorry for your loss, bee. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. You sound like a wonderful daughter.
Post # 10
sorry for your loss, sorry if this founds crazy but maybe carry of pic of him with you down the aisle?
in my culture we have a table with candles at celebrations with pics of our dear departed to celebrate with us in spirit.
Post # 11
Hugs to you, bee. I am so very sorry for your loss <3
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2016 - City, State
nolastdance : I am so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation… My husband’s mom passed away 4 months before our wedding and my mom passed away 4 weeks before our wedding.
I definitely didn’t feel like doing any wedding stuff for 3 weeks after my mom passed, and 1 week before the wedding I knew I had to get myself together. It was tough, and it was a very odd mix of emotions grieving our moms and at the same time anticipating the joy of our wedding/marriage. I almost felt apologetic when people asked if I was excited about the wedding when I was so overwhelmed with shock and grief over my mom’s death. Like you, I had all kind of back up plans if my mom couldn’t walk, if she only had energy to attend the wedding or the reception, if she was in the hospital….I even had the seating chart done, and my dad had hired a caregiver to help my mom on the wedding day. One thing that did help was that I asked my fiance to contact the pastor, florist, reception manager, and organist to let them know about my mom’s passing and the changes that needed to be made. I just couldn’t do it, and I didn’t want to have to tell them at the rehearsal.
Both my husband and I definitely had a few tearful moments on our wedding day, and it’s still somewhat bittersweet when I remember it… but at the same time, it was a happy day. I tried to imagine our moms dancing in heaven and kept reminding myself that neither were burdened with pain nor physical limitations any longer.
This was my experience and my hope in writing this is that it encourages you that you too can make it through this time and still have a joyous wedding day. But, I also know that everyone’s grieving process is unique. So, as my mother-in-law used to say, please be gentle with yourself right now. And I’ll keep you in my prayers that God may guide you through this time and that you still enjoy your wedding day!
Post # 13
Omg bee. I’m so so sorry for your lost. You’re in my prayers!
Post # 14
I’m sorry you lost your dad. That’s terrible.
Post # 15
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please make sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Could you hand the remaining wedding planning over to a trusted friend? It’s incredible that you were there for your Dad, especially his last 6 days. So sweet that you discussed your wedding, and know that he will be there, with you in spirit. Wishing you peace, comfort and healing.